I watched a video some time ago. It was about a Chinese baby girl who was abandoned and adopted by an American couple. After more than 20 years, she recognized her relatives through the video.
The video is accompanied by extremely sensational music. On the other hand, the mother here says "I'm sorry, my mother can't protect you" in tears. On the one hand, a daughter who grew up in an American family smiled brightly and said, "It's okay, it's a good thing to lose it.
The seemingly touching picture makes people feel complicated and heavy. But it can be seen that Sunshine, the abandoned baby back then, was confident and responded generously with "thank you all." There was no injury or resentment at all.
News of the adoption of Chinese baby girls by American families is not uncommon, and some netizens even envy them with their real names, saying, "Fortunately, they were thrown away, otherwise there would be no such good environment."
Some people also questioned whether it is easy for American couples to apply for adoption when they are rich, and rich families are full of love.
From an orphan ruthlessly abandoned to a child surrounded by love, the huge contrast change is also very curious. What happened in the middle?
For those who are curious about this, in 2018, there is a "Crash Family" that can let you know the interesting things about adoptive families in the United States.
The successful middle-class family couple Pete (Mark Wahlberg) and Ellie (Rose Byrne) are over forty years old. They don't want to live a dull life, and one day they decide to adopt a child.
The sentimental Ellie persuaded his wife, Pete, the mad devil, and the two ran directly to "begging for a child" without a fierce ideological struggle.
But the test of adopting a child is not simple. First, you have to accept an eight-week course for adoptive parents, obtain certification, and pair up with other couples to form an adoption mutual aid association while learning and complaining.
Among this group of parents who want children, some want children out of religious beliefs, some are infertile, and there are gay parents and single mothers. It is worthy of the political correctness of plural families in the United States.
The United States also has a seemingly humane foster family system, but more than half of the children are homeless, addicted to drugs, go to jail or die within two years after the end of the foster care period.
Since it is adoption, the younger the child is, the easier it is to be adopted. Teenagers between the ages of 12 and 16 are more likely to be rebellious or "not married", so the adoption rate is the lowest, which is understandable.
The Pete and his wife also took a fancy to a 15-year-old girl named Liz, and they had to accept the Latino Juan and Rita, who were dragging behind Liz.
The three children were overjoyed when they entered the door. The couple renovated the room, gave Christmas gifts, and coaxed them to sleep. Everything looks harmonious and perfect.
But soon the "bear kids" wanted to show the most boring side to force them to collapse. Rita likes to yell and make trouble, Juan is careless and vulnerable.
The originally quiet two-person world quickly turned into a pan of porridge. Behind the seemingly lively family is the reality of flying dogs.
But the Pete and his wife still cared for them with all their heart, Ai Li was strict in discipline, and Pete persuaded others with reason. They had different ways but they all gave all their love to their children.
The two of them angered and said they would just send it all back. On the other hand, just because of the child's father and mother, they were ecstatic and they were full of blood and blood.
Love is the key to change all of this, but it may not be enough for adoptive families.
When the family relationship gradually improved, the biological mother of the three siblings appeared. Liz, a rebellious girl, also showed strong disapproval and disapproval of the Pete couple.
She deliberately threw the comb that Ellie gave her into the toilet, and misinterpreted the adoptive parents' over-caring behavior as a white couple doing charity, and only sympathized with their three siblings.
Her biological mother took drugs, burned the house, and did not fulfill her obligations. But Liz smiled at ease as soon as she saw her birth mother, and the Pete and his wife couldn't get her acceptance no matter how kind she was to her.
In the end, the child was sentenced to be returned to the biological mother. Pete and Ally were very uncomfortable and depressed. This laborious adoption was like nothing but a basket of water.
This is difficult for anyone to accept, as if adoption is just a joke about raising children for others .
In fact, all of this is Liz's rebellious self-assertion. She is afraid of being abandoned again, afraid of coming and going in the foster family, afraid that she is just a compensation for the loneliness and emptiness of adoptive parents.
There is a detail in the film. Every time the children go to court, the children will receive a soothing bear as a gift. The three siblings have a bunch of "court bears", suggesting that they have been abandoned, sentenced, and adopted countless times .
With each additional bear, the damage of being abandoned increases again.
She is like a scarred bear, who has never been loved, and simply refuses all possibilities.
Even their biological mothers do not love them. Why do adoptive parents love them?
To put it bluntly, she lost the ability to feel love.
"You are told five times a day that you are bad. In the long run, you won't believe that someone loves you."
Is the couple's unrequited love wrong? Or is there something wrong with the understanding of family relationships?
The Pete and his wife have also been desperate to make Rita not treat them as enemies. They ran to complain to the model adoptive family, but were told that the seemingly well-behaved daughter had entered the drug rehabilitation center again.
The old couple just said without complaint, do you know how much effort she has put into the fight against drugs over the years?
Parents will be anxious and afraid of losing because they are not rewarded for their efforts. This is how a bereaved child feels every day.
A child is an independent individual with his own demands, not a puppy waiting to be adopted, and needs to accept and be grateful for everything unconditionally.
They are not born like this, just like angels with broken wings need more time to repair, but they can fly, and they are eager to love and be loved.
You have paid enough care to have a clear conscience, and you have to give enough respect so that they can feel the love.
When the family has children, they are also an inseparable part from now on, not just recipients who only need to be reformed and unconditionally obeyed.
Indeed, there are very few biological parents in this world who do not love their children.
But if this love can be left casually, choose to escape, ease, and just take care of yourself.
With all due respect, it's not called love, it's called home delivery, because it doesn't support returns, so I just leave it in the corner to dry.
The Pete and his wife finally understood this. From the beginning they didn't know why they adopted the children, and then they opened up and formed a happy family with the children.
There was a saying on the Internet that was widely circulated: The thought of being a parent without having to pass an exam is really terrible.
Parents who think that my country needs adoption often complain about the strict examination conditions, dissatisfied with the process of waiting in line and slow inspection, and are more inclined to find relatives and children for adoption or through illegal channels.
why? Because of the simplicity and simplicity, I closed the door to educate my children, and everything became my own family affair .
Whether it is an ordinary family or an adopted family, parents are accustomed to unilateral love and control, and ignorant children never need to be understood and listened to, as if they are just an appendage of the family.
They should be squeezed into what their parents want, and they are not qualified to ask their parents, why?
Why do you want children? Why did you give birth to me?
How to get along after having a child?
It is the biological parents who are completely unprepared who need to consider these issues more than the fast-track family.
Countless children have become the children most lacking in love in families where both parents’ affection is distorted.
In "Dog Thirteen", no matter how uncomfortable the father's discipline to his daughter Li Wan is, as long as the sentence "Daddy loves you." can naturally oppress the child's pain and troubles.
The clever Li Wan recognized his destiny of being controlled like a dog. If he was not sensible, he would be sensible, and he would be sent to a hot pot restaurant if he was not well-behaved. They only needed to leave obedient dogs and obedient children .
But isn't the obedient child the original child who is innocent and capricious and longs to be loved?
It doesn't matter, the obedient child is my child.
To be honest, I am also a little envious of the children who are adopted by love.
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