Director at the beginning of the movie: Don't use special effects, delete the actors and actresses, yes, just do it, and send me the information video! What? Can't find the color video? It's black and white, yes! The editor cut the rhythm for me a little bit, and reversed the order, it looks much more high-end! Good, good, good title of this film! For the first three minutes, there were no actors and no special effects, so I spent fifty hiring an editor, which was so saving! Let me tell you that we have to save the whole movie!
2. The film's opening
director: screenwriter! screenwriter! Come on to me! Write emotional drama, write sensational, stretch, stretch, stretch again! Yes, yes, that's it, don't make big scenes, it's all indoor scenes, kiss scenes in the car, give me hard work, it's useless! Good good, great, screenwriter I love you to death. Whoops, you actually wrote me a running scene for three minutes. It's so awesome, our crew needs a comrade like you!
Special effects! Special effects! Hey, listen to me, look at how other screenwriters save us money? Do you do the special effects? Give me a vision! No depth of field! Gray, all gray! Vague! Make it dim! Okay, that's it. What? You are asking me a thousand for this special effect? Here are you three hundred, get out!
3. Film Evolution
Director: Hello, are you the producer? Let me tell you, brother saves money, no problem. The movie lasted for half an hour. There were no monsters, no explosions, no big scenes, and nothing! I just sent a one-hundred-dollar-hour cruise ship to send the actors to Gunkanjima, without any special effects at all! With this plot, there will be another 20 minutes of water! Hmm, absolutely no problem! Let's save to shoot a blockbuster! I understand what you mean, I tell you, I promise to save money!
Fourth, the film climax 1
director: special effects! Special effects! Special effects come out! The design is also out! How the hell did you Muto design it, so handsome? Does the villain need to be so handsome?
Design: Director, when you set up the project, didn't you say that you would strive for perfection?
Director: Lean fart! Come, let me open the design! Immediately send someone to go to China by cargo plane and find a designer! What? Not for Yangmei, not for Qingmei! It is enough for me to find a designer from an IT company in Shanghai Dian for twenty-one hours!
(Designer working)
(The director takes over the drawing)
Director: (Thinking to myself: This Nima is a bit too ugly...)
Design: (I see what the director means) Director, don’t dislike it, I will draw this picture for you for free, as long as Just add a name to me at the end of the film!
Director: Good! Just love to hear this sentence. Just click this for Muto's look!
5. The film undertaking
director: What? Old white pay is too expensive? screenwriter! screenwriter! The screenwriter wrote Lao Bai to death. Thank you!
5. Director in the middle of the movie
(monster appearance)
: Cut! Cut it out! Act in something else, in a sensational drama, in a useless act! Yes, that's it!
(Monster appears)
Director: Cut! Don’t let the monster appear for three seconds in a row. Give me the empty mirror, close-up the actors, and shoot me anything useless. In short, don’t use special effects!
(Monster appears)
Director: Vision! Vision! Go further! A little more obscure, a little more obscure, yes, yes! And Godzilla's shell, blur it a bit for me! Do you think I'm photographing Smaug, drawing you bit by bit? Brother took the picture of Godzilla! What? Too rough to watch? Change all to night scenes! When the time comes, the audience will scold the theater and will never scold us! Hahaha, I'm so witty!
Sixth, movie climax 2
director: grass mud horse! Who told you to give me such a big explosion! You fucking treat me as Transformers! Brother took the picture of Godzilla! Keep it small, just a little bit brighter in the night scene! Stop buying new gunpowder. Didn’t I tell you last time? Send someone to China and buy a few boxes of Liuyanghe!
7. Movie Climax 3
(Monster Appears)
Director: Vision! Vision! Go to the hero! Go to the hostess! On the male match! On the female match! Hiker! Get on the dog! Get on the bird! Yes, that's what it means. Okay, when the monsters are finished, just put the perspective to show it!
(Monster appears)
Director: Cut it out! Skydiving for me, skydiving! Exactly correct, the process of falling will give me at least one minute to pull it out. Okay, I got to the ground and started walking. Yes, the monsters only play sound effects to indicate that they are playing. Okay, the shootout! cut! Sensational! Close up! The hostess cry! it is good! In place! What? not enough? The hostess calls, speaks slowly, and expresses more richly...Okay, great, you, add an egg to the lunch box!
8. Film finishing
director: screenwriter! screenwriter! Eh? The screenwriter resigned? It doesn't matter, I'll do it myself! Well, that's the end. Gathering, sensational, and happy to go all the way... It is completely correct. This kind of effect is necessary. Anyway, the main public relations target of Warner Corporation is also China, and Chinese audiences love to watch this kind of Yuzheng drama. Eh? Why is there no soundtrack? Soundtrack! Soundtrack! The soundtrack also quit, this bunch of trash! I can make do with the next song on QQ Music. photography! You put your phone on the camera, even if you add a soundtrack! Eh? ! Photography, you, you, you, you, don’t go, where are you going!
(The director picked up his mobile phone and turned on QQ Music to finish filming the rest of the scene).
8.
Actors at the end of the movie : Director, the movie is finished, will you add an Easter egg at the end?
Director: Add your sister, let’s save money for a sequel, don’t you understand! Isn't the sequel sold now? I'm still renewing twenty more!
Nine, set
lunch box brother: Hello, your crew ordered a total of 912 boxes of lunch boxes, plus 1 egg, please check out the bill.
Actor: Okay, wait a minute, the director said he went to the bathroom, I'll call for it. What about the director, the director, the director? ? ?
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