I like watching movies showing wedding scenes: "Father-in-law", "Wedding Singer", "My Grand Greek Wedding", "Monsoon Wedding", "Wedding Banquet"... I like such a peaceful and happy atmosphere, although it is unavoidable. Going through small episodes, but the ending is always warm and ironed, like drinking a bowl of hot mixed noodle soup in a winter night, no matter how lonely life can be warmed up.
Jonathan Demme's wedding is the same, but different.
The documentary shooting technique makes the wedding process full of realism. The film started with Anne Hathaway's Kym being picked up by her father to attend the wedding of her sister Rachel in the drug rehabilitation center. The characters of this family are very full. Kym is a black sheep in the sheepfold. His growth path is sordid. On the surface, he looks stubborn and cares about nothing. But his heart is fragile. Change, cheer up, and be strong; sister Rachel (Rosemarie DeWitt) loves and hates Kym, her attitude is constantly swaying, there are thousands of things in the past, where is the balance? Father Paul (Bill Irwin) has to watch Kym, who is not reassuring, and take care of the overall situation of the wedding. He also has to appease the angry Rachel. How hard is this dad!
In such a wedding scene, anxiety is hidden in the happiness, and order is also arranged in the chaos. Dramatic events are always resolved before they happen. It seems to be peaceful and peaceful, but there is an undercurrent under the surface. The script of the writer Jenny Lumet arranges the conflicts to the point where they cannot be resolved or resolved. The laughter is half a cry, and the tears are half a drop. With the addition of Jonathan Demme's documentary filming technique, I looked at it and suddenly my thoughts ran to my good friend Nona...
One year during Thanksgiving, I went to stay at Nona's house. Her family is a traditional Jewish family, with relatives on both sides of her parents. We first met Nona’s mother for a short time in Minneapolis, and then drove to the Green Bay Club of Nona’s father’s family to officially celebrate the festival at Nona’s grandmother.
Nona's father, Jerok, inherited the family pharmacy and became a pharmacist. In his spare time, Jerock can play the piano well, and he can be regarded as one of the local stars of the town. Nuona was influenced by the family to act in a musical at a young age. She and her sister were going to embark on the road of art, but never thought that when she was a rebellious age in her teens, her parents suddenly divorced-it turned out that Nuona’s old age Dad Jerock is actually a gay.
The family changes made Nona suddenly believe in Gothicism, her black shirt, black lips, ink tattoos and blue alienation; when she was in college, she ran half of the world like hippies in the 70s, chasing stars to Scotland, and even professional musicals. Gave up. After the divorce, Nona's father has been mingling with a Chinese-Filipino alcoholic. Nona mentioned that this guy is always full of irritation, and she didn't forget to say "Bah!"
Nona's brother Doug got it a few years ago. Fortunately, the cancer was discovered in time, but Nona had to take a year off from school and go home to take care of her younger brother. After a long course of chemotherapy, Doug finally recovered. Then he married the daughter of the city's eyeglass shop owner and started business in the eyeglass shop. Doug has no academic qualifications, but relying on his wife's well-earned family background, a family of three lives better than the average middle class, at least far surpassing Nona, who has won all the talents of mental education. Nona has a complaint against Doug, which speaks for itself.
I am very confused by such a complicated family relationship. I don't know how a sensitive, delicate and straight-hearted guy like Nona can deal with these difficult emotions.
We went to Doug’s house to visit his new house. His middle-class life was prudent. On the way back, we absently vowed to declare war on the suburban American dream that lacked personality and spirituality; we sang and flew at 90 miles per hour. Running on the endless desolate winter plains in Wisconsin; we were holding huge plates in the living room of Grandma Nona’s house and desperately gnawing turkey legs dipped in cranberry sauce. The Green Bay football team was enjoying the game on the TV; we were going out. At night the lights went down secretly listen Nona child saved Jie Luoke piano playing record, I asked her: "do you hate your dad do?"
"hate," Nona replied, long while, and said: "but he is my dad."
In the film, a girl like Kym has a distinctive personality and is very insecure. I want to blame my sister Rachel for being too patient with her, but think about this is Rachel’s wedding, think about the hell time this family has gone through, and think Rachel has done her best—her sister is not herself. Is it because she is a younger sister? Then look at his father Paul. He deserves the most sympathy. The past family tragedies are a cross that will never be removed from the heart, and the two children in front of him have to be protected and comforted by him. Who will support it to the end? Kym and Rachel's mother are like a distant shadow from the end of the world, carefully estranged in silence. All people are trying their best to escape from the past, from the horrible black hole that sucks human bones and blood, struggling silently, or radically erupting, after exhaustion, the shadow is still there, and the wedding continues.
The wedding continues.
What a grand wedding! The combination of black and white races, relatives and friends, band waiters are messed up; Indian costumes, western etiquette, hip-hop and pop music, and even Brazil carnival. The problems to be solved are still pending, and the scars that cannot be healed are still new. Kym finally didn't apologize to his mother, Paul continued to wipe his tears without complaining, and the conflict between Rachel and Kym was still the same.
Then, Kym went back to her drug rehabilitation center, and life continued, life continued, nothing changed.
How confusing is such a family relationship;-But, what kind of family relationship is not confusing? !
Blood relationship is really a very strange thing, because we share some of the same genes, we tolerate, remain silent, and even indulge those unbearable history of blood and tears, bad tempers, and weird personalities; we complain, accuse, and sometimes even Fighting hard, but finally reconciled, even if it is on the surface of politeness. But family affection is not limited to blood relationship, husband and wife, old friends, and even pets. Individuals who were originally strangers have intersection for various reasons at a certain stage in their lives, so they have to endure the dark side of each other, sometimes indulging and venting, sometimes Silence, there are times when I love clearly, but viciously spread all the thorns, and use each other to hurt each other to prove the existence of love.
The so-called family, this is how stumbling and tolerating each other and supporting each other. The hot tea in the cold night, the towel in the hot summer weather, the singing in loneliness, the shoulders of fatigue; these are all, but they are not enough: grace and gratitude are the starting point of the family, but not the root of the family. A family is a closely intertwined life, the joy and sorrow connected by the roots, the glory and disgrace, the coldness of the lips and the teeth. Blood relationship can constitute this kind of unity; family love without blood relationship can also constitute this kind of unity. Home is a memory that cannot be lost. It is an organic part of "I". It tolerates struggling and compromise, including self-forgiveness. In the end, it is because this person cannot be missing in life, and this memory cannot be missing, it is because of "I". It represents the entirety of the memory fragments. If you want to be complete, you can only compromise, you can only forgive, and you must forgive.
I went to Minneapolis the previous winter to attend Nona's wedding. As a bridesmaid, Nona’s sister and I stood on the podium and watched her step by step with her father to the person she had entrusted to her for life. Nona’s mother was sitting in the first row smiling and wiping tears, while Doug held the camera meticulously. The video of her, her grandparents, her grandmother are all crying and laughing in front of them-such a family!
I especially like Jenny Lumet's handling of the ending of the story of "Rachel's Wedding": nothing is explained, the problem has not been solved, the contradiction still exists, but everything is quietly changing and developing. The four seasons change, time passes, life remains the same, life continues.
I think what the movie didn’t say, maybe it’s the short English poem:
"Forgive me for not being able to live without you,
forgive me for loving your body and soul,
forgive me for wanting to grow old with you"
Forgive me, forgive me in my life Can't live without you.
View more about Rachel Getting Married reviews
