People are thrown into this world, and thrown separately one by one. The four-year-old son died in a car accident after a dog chasing him for eight months. The wife refused to attend the party, sent the dog to her mother’s house, planted flowers in the yard, cleaned her son’s clothes and wanted to give away, but she had to donate it, put away the paintings drawn by her son on the refrigerator, and wanted to sell the house. To erase all traces. However, he reached a peculiar understanding with the perpetrator and got a touch of comfort from it. Husband plays squash, participates in listening groups, actively relaxes the relationship between husband and wife, considers having a second child, watches his son’s video every night, touches marijuana, is tempted by other women, takes back the dog, refuses to sell the house, and does not forgive the perpetrators . Faced with an irresistible fate, even those who love each other can only be alone. And if people who love each other can't warm each other, they can only turn to hurt each other. Any trivial matter will trigger a war. This time the fuse was that the wife mistakenly deleted the video about her son from her husband's cell phone. The wife said: "I don't have it. I just checked the phone number for roof repair." "Yes, you keep pressing the screen." ← Both parties are only describing the facts here. "We have hundreds of his videos, you should save them on your computer." ← The wife first used the word "should". What do we mean when we use "should"? Not necessarily the other party is wrong, but it could have been more thorough. "Should" actually implies accusing each other and justifying oneself. "Yes, it's my fault" ← The husband is angry. "I didn't mean that" ← his wife showed weakness. "After all, don't look for it!" The husband snatched the phone. "Oh, I said I didn't mean it" ←The wife began to defend herself. "Are you sure?" "What do you mean, do you think I deleted that video deliberately?" "I don't know,,, you are trying to get rid of him, every day a new change, you seem to want to remove All the evidence that he has existed, you took his paintings from the refrigerator, "← progressed to this point, starting to extend from the current incident to the past pain, the husband kept attacking, and the wife kept defending. ... "You don't want that dog, for God's sake,, if I didn't buy that dog, Danny should be alive," ←The iceberg hidden in the bottom of my husband's heart began to surface. The child got into the car accident to chase the dog, and the husband bought the dog. "If I didn't run back to the house to answer the phone, or I plugged in the courtyard door," ←The wife's fault was that the courtyard door was not plugged in. ... "Not just videos, but also dogs, paintings and clothes. All of this, there is not even a picture of him in the house, and there are no fingerprints on the door. Damn!,, don't erase him again. The traces of, you hurry to stop," ←Every pair of grievances in the world is not just because of a certain incident. It is a superposition of mistakes that make the cracks bigger and bigger. "Don't you think I can see him every minute and every second? I didn't delete the video on purpose. Trust me, I will blame myself for this thing, just like all other things I could have avoided." ←Wife gives up defense. "I didn't want you to be like this" ←The husband then gave up the offense. "Isn't it? I feel like you just want to, as if you feel that my guilt for you is not enough, that I am heartless, what do you want me," ← the wife began to attack. ... I watched their conversations repeatedly, and my heart beats every time. In this conversation, the real culprit of people hurting each other is hidden, and it also contains the philosophy of how to get along with each other in intimacy.
"I am damned, I am guilty" → "Why did I do this, why didn't I do that" → "Why one if none happened" → "I didn't do a lot wrong, I was only wrong a little bit" → "He was also wrong A little bit, why should I bear the consequences alone"→"I have been so painful, why didn't he forgive me"...Beware of burdens that exceed a certain load, out of the instinct of self-help, we subconsciously want to pass it on Going out, the initial "I'm guilty" eventually evolved into "Why accuse me".
I once read a book and forgot the name. A couple are writers. Their child died. The room was crowded with people who came to comfort them. The woman walked out out of breath and found another writer who admired her. They were in a hotel two blocks away from home. Made a night of love. The woman said that she didn't know what was wrong, she was about to die in grief, and the desire to have love was as real as sorrow, but she knew that this was out of place and that it would hurt her husband, so she could only go to someone else, whoever. Because of the shadow of losing the child and other things, they divorced a few years later, and a few years later she saw a novel published by a man who was already an ex-husband, which wrote about the death of the child, about the depression of the room, about the desire of a woman, Write about her sex with others all night, and write about her painful struggles-with a sympathetic understanding full of love and compassion. "It's like he lives in my heart, knowing so clearly," the woman said. They didn't get together later, they just shook hands with each other in their hearts to make peace. There is also another movie "Manchester by the Sea" that I watched this year. A man forgot to close the fire hood of the fireplace, causing a fire and killing his three children, thus self-disciplined and self-disciplined. In contrast, this film is probably the most tender. The woman asked her mother who lost her son 11 years ago. "Will it be the past?" "No, but, it will change, and at some point it will become a bearable weight, allowing you to crawl out of its weight and put it in your pocket like a brick To walk in, sometimes you even forget it, but there is always something that will remind you of it again, like this'oh, that incident', it’s uncomfortable, but it won’t always be like this, this feeling is like It’s a substitute for your son. It will accompany you instead of your son. It’s lingering, but it’s actually pretty good.” Yes, it’s actually pretty good. Some people come and go and leave some marks. It’s better than nothing. . The husband finally agreed to sell the house and rejected other women. The wife began not to shy away from her contact with the perpetrator, and she read the comics sent by the other party in person, and offered to invite friends to dinner. At the end of the film, the friends came and left, leaving behind the wolves full of the courtyard and their clasped hands. After a period of crisis, there are always some people recovering faster, while others are too slow to give up, but can you give up too early? Can you give me more time, more patience, and more love, until I finally The bricks that can hold your hand tightly and bear the memory together, no matter how difficult the road ahead is, you can still go on.
View more about Rabbit Hole reviews
