just like life;
especially your life brings a powerful sense of satisfaction to others.
People often turn around and leave after getting equal satisfaction.
-Montesquieu
At the end of "Amy", 85-year-old Tony Bennet said in his old voice from the last century: "Life will teach you to live, if you live long enough. "This sentence sums up Amy's instant disappearance, in such a cruel and direct way, regardless of whether your sad brain is splitting.
On July 23, 2011, when I listened to "You Know I'm No Good" on the university campus, I was in a daze facing the "Golden Notes" in the study room of the library because of the message that popped up on my mobile phone-Amy Winehouse was poisoned by alcohol. Passed away.
Just like when I listened to "Body and Soul" with headphones plugged in on the platform of a Shanghai subway station on November 7, 2013, the traffic TV screen popped up in a daze like Doris Lessing's unfortunate death.
Just like when I revisited "Merry Christmas on the Battlefield" on January 11, 2016, and just finished paying for "Blackstar", listening to the desperate voice of the old demon David Bowie, I received the news of his sudden illness. daze.
I was thinking that these various coincidences constituted the destructive quality of my spiritual beliefs. Sometimes I don’t even understand why things I like and love always disappear so quickly.
All kinds of instantaneous, direct, unsuspecting, and black influences have caused me to become attached to the incomplete, dead, and unforgettable feelings. I always liked the same people, the same stars, the same style, and the same director.
When I clicked on the player and opened "Amy", I knew that during the two-hour viewing process, I would burst into tears and my heart would be cut by a knife.
Not only because of the renewed keen sense of the dark nature of life around me, but I would even think that Amy’s choice of death is a correct way-why should I live in this salty world? Why do you want to be the one you least want to be?
The ego will always die from the powerful power of the public.
Amy said in the film that he never thought that he could sing. This is true. According to my understanding, all true artists who become Icon, and all the innovators who disagree with the public opinion, bear noise that others cannot afford.
Yes, it is noise. Selfishness and greed from the media, from the masses, unrestrained requests, constant repetition and duplication of pain.
Therefore, the attitude towards Amy is unfriendly, even almost angry, rebellious, and resisted. I think she is the only weak resistance of a thin, emotionally alienated singer who has lost true freedom and whose life has been stolen by the masses. . But she was full of powerlessness, despair, and indomitableness.
She is powerless, also because of her one-sided, pure, direct personality.
The paranoia of self in life, the pursuit of extreme emotions, and the perfectionism of music are all manifested in her personality.
But whoever wants to survive in Vanity Fair, adapt well to everything and become a star, can be forced to split into a dual personality by public pressure:
one is Amy Winehouse in the eyes of the public, Soul singer, winner of 6 Grammy trophies, has everything you can want to have a popular superstar.
And the other is Amy Winehouse, who has fallen into the darkest part of life, casts all humbleness in love life, and seeks all the ways to get rid of loneliness, paleness and powerlessness in every day of boring and boring.
This other, the most authentic part of her, she does not have enough social experience, she is still too young to hide well. So when the most real side of this part is undecorated before the eyes of the public, all the hungry brains and the desire for gossip pastime are like a group of jackals, tigers and leopards eating her, driven by media interests, and the paparazzi's camera lights. It was like sticking a sharp blade straight into her body covered with tattoos.
Anyone who encounters this kind of stripping will want to get out of this noisy world, and will want to numb themselves.
It was Amy, she chose alcohol and drugs, and the husband Blake, who was called a "scumbag" but was able to give her a truly happy life. This is the concept I gave in the title "Incomplete aesthetics and a self-destructive way of living."
Many people cannot understand. Of course, no matter who is watching and commenting from the outside, it is easy to become a promoter of public opinion and kill others' executioners. Everyone becomes a person who entertains the lives of others without knowing it. It's like distracting Amy's drug addiction, just like distracting her and her husband's daily life.
I think that Amy is fighting against all the injustices she has experienced in a near-death method, using her most real vitality and everything that is not on track and unreasonable.
What can I do if I don’t give up drugs, what can I do if I don’t perform seriously at a concert, what can I do if I don’t like fans to disturb my personal life, and what if I feel that winning is a disgusting and shameful award. Or, even if you don't want to continue to live, what can you do if you don't want to stay in this filthy world.
When life reaches a certain height, it may be enough to withstand this illusory, stormy experience of fame. Perhaps another way is to completely shut off others, and more and more want to seal everything that belongs to oneself. , Resist all intrusion. Just as she chose to stay away from the public eye to be able to live well.
Does she love music?
The answer is yes.
At least all of her creations before she became famous are from the ultimate love of music, a form of artistic expression. She can incorporate all her emotional elements in her creations-lonely, desperate, inferior, dark, Tortuous and poisonous.
Then these works that all her emotions have condensed into are like an ark of release. Gradually developed into art. Jazz art.
Is this what she is looking forward to? Or what she despised?
"Xu Shunying" once wrote: How a person becomes an artist is the process of how to turn oneself into a translator for the oracle.
And the oracles contained in each of her songs have gradually become consumer goods. Amy feels that his materialized characteristics are becoming more and more obvious, like a small doll in the window, which exists to please others.
Her non-compliance, abnormality, and all non-traditional everything, following her music, becomes an object, and is swallowed by the world as a feast in the news, gossip, and media.
So music became her most disgusting way of expression when she was gradually lost. At least after "Back to Black", she no longer wanted to create a junk food for public consumption. Even in "Body and Soul", I could almost feel her subconscious resistance and disappointment in the form of artistic expression in the process of working with Tony.
She really didn't want to sing anymore. If she was asked to convey these emotions as a food transmitter to the waiting audience, she would rather never sing again for the rest of her life.
How do we conclude that Amy's disappearance was not officially due to the love of life? She is just bound by the existing life, unable to move.
However, when people are disappointed in a state of life, they will find another way of life to guide and relieve the current dark situation, and improve the present with more possibilities.
"If there were no drugs, life would be a boring thing." What
Amy loves is not drugs, nor tattoos, nor a decadent and corrupt lifestyle. What she loves is the soothing relief brought by drugs, a short break from the eternal boring life, and a way for people who share the same soul to use love to find a hopeless way out.
Just like drugs and alcohol, Blake is her favorite, and it also makes her addicted.
Drugs and alcohol, like another real experience, are the only way to get her out of the ugly reality of the moment.
movie ends with the melody of "Valerie" and the fragmented silhouette of Amy's life.
I believe that good singers are like good works, which can be more durable and well-preserved than life, the world we live in, and the eternity of memory.
Just as the short moment of Amy's appearance and disappearance brought us, like an angel's kiss, more like a bright star illuminating everything beautiful.
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