Yesterday, I took the kids to watch "The Adventures of the Bull". Compared to "Dream and Travel", I think this film is more suitable for children around five years old.
Almost half of the people in the entire theater were children, and nearly half were children.
Zhang Xiao watched it very deeply. During the whole process, he only asked "when will it end" (he would ask when he was impatient). After coming out of the theater, I asked him if he looked good, and he replied very positively "good-looking".
This film is based on the picture book "The Cow Who Loves Flowers". The storyline is not complicated: In Spain, there is a young bull named Ferdinand. The other bulls love to run, jump, and reach horns, but Ferdinand likes to sit quietly and smell the flowers.
The other calves’ wish is that one day they can go to the bullring and die with the bullfighter; Ferdinand’s wish is to sit in the shade of the trees all day and smell the flowers.
In the movie, Ferdinand’s father is a very powerful bullfighter. He eventually defeated all the bulls in the Bull’s House and went to the bullring. He also decided to defeat the matador before returning to teach his son all the tricks. Unfortunately, he eventually died under the sword of a matador, and Ferdinand was not interested in fighting.
Obviously, Ferdinand is a not very gregarious child. In other words, in the Bull’s House, a place where bullfighting is the main venue, his ideal of "sniffing the rose" is somewhat absurd, ridiculous, and even Deviant. Therefore, he will attract the ridicule of other bulls.
After all, for the bulls of the Bull House, it is the "right way" to show their bravery and majesty in the bullring and fight the matador.
There is no mother as a role in the film. In the original picture book Ferdinand has a mother, and he is a great and enlightened mother. The book describes it like this:
Sometimes, Ferdinand’s mother is worried that he always I feel lonely when I stay alone. "You can play with your friends, jump together, and reach the corner together."
Ferdinand shook his head: "I prefer to sit quietly and smell the flowers."
His mother is a good understanding mother. , She saw that Ferdinand didn't feel lonely, so she let him stay and enjoy herself.
To be honest, I am a little ashamed when I see this: If my children are not gregarious, even when the children study hard and want to get good results in the exam, but only get absorbed in some trivial things that are worthless to others, I will Is it so calm and even so empathetic to let him go? Do I dare to make him "unsocial"?
02
Some time ago, in an interview, Han Han first talked about dropping out of school that caused great controversy that year. He said that dropping out is a very failure. It shows that I am not competent in a challenge and can only withdraw. worth learning.
Han Han and I are the same age. When we read his "Triple Doors", we were shocked at one time. When we were under the pressure of the college entrance examination and studied hard day and night, Han Han dropped out of school. Once, I was so envious of his courage. .
He also took a "unsocial" path.
Now, I feel more courageous, and it is Han Han's parents who are more worthy of admiration. If my child suddenly said to me one day, Mom, I don't think going to school is interesting (meaningful), and I don't want to go to school anymore.
What attitude would I have? I will say happily: Okay, boy, do I respect your choice?
In fact, Zhang Xiaoyou has really experienced a phenomenon of "study-weary" recently.
We enrolled him in an English class, one class per week, one and a half hours long, with one break in between. For a five-year-old child, an hour and a half may be a bit long, so Zhang Xiao complained to me more than once that “it’s too long” and used various methods to protest against dislike of this course, for example, time and time again. Running out of the classroom, for example, the teacher refuses to answer a question, just lie on the ground during class, and the teacher wakes up with a loud shout.
After discovering this phenomenon, my approach was to help him "board" over. My point of view is that there are rules for class, whether you like it or not, you must listen to the class carefully.
For this reason, I have been rough. This is the only time I have beaten him in the past year because of his mischief in class. Lao Qin cooperated with me to explain to him: The reason why Monkey King was held under the Five Elements Mountain for five hundred years was because he did not abide by the rules of the heavenly court.
Zhang Xiao finally "performed well" with our hard and soft actions. During class, I didn't run out or lie down on the ground. The teacher also cooperated with questions. But, is it right for me to force him like this? I am actually very confused.
A few days ago, his English had to be renewed again. After the last class, he told me firmly that he didn't want to go to it and don't pay him any more.
My dad and I actually want him to continue the class. First, their teacher Mickey teaches well and respects the children. Second, Zhang Xiaoyou actually likes Mickey very much. The only thing he dislikes is that the class is too long.
So his dad continued to lobby him: English is a very useful language, don't you want to travel around the world? If you don't learn English, you can't talk to foreigners abroad. This English class is very close to our home, it is very convenient to pick you up, and the fee is not expensive...
In short, under the painstaking heart of Lao Qin, Zhang Xiao agreed to continue to sign up, and promised to continue to "behave well."
We can be regarded as "victory" again, but I am not complacent because of "victory".
Is it really right to coax the child to do things he doesn't like? If he is a little older and not so "so coaxing" as he is now, what trick should we use?
03
"Just do what you like, as long as you don't feel lonely."
Once I thought, I would be such a mother. But when the real thing came, I found that I couldn't be cool at all. I hope I have a gregarious child, for example, study hard and not be so rebellious.
Of course I know that reading is not the only way out, and that you can live a good life without speaking a word of English, but this road is obviously more difficult than reading.
I once saw a speech on "Yi Xi". The speaker was Zhang Dongqing, the founder of Ri Ri Xin School.
She said that when her second child was 5 years old, when the parents were in the big class, parents began to worry about their children going to elementary school. When others asked her about her plan, she said calmly: "Our children don't go to school."
Some later . Parents agree with their couple's opinions and propose to let their children go to home school together. This is also the reason for the establishment of the Daily New School.
I have seen all kinds of attractive activities in this school: organizing children to go out once a week to visit museums, art galleries, 798 Art District, mountain climbing, picking, long walks, and even making small plastic bags in the community. Investigation and so on.
I admit that these things are very interesting. It is much more meaningful than knowing one more Chinese character and remembering one more word. I am willing to cheer for Zhang Dongqing, but will I put my child in the new school every day?
I think I won't. If I fail, I can't afford the price. After all, a child's childhood is only once.
I would rather my child go to squeeze a single-plank bridge, go to full-time school with everyone, and apply for various tutoring classes. I prefer to let him "communicate" a little bit. Under the general direction of "community", he can have his little personality, but , If he is very different, very deviant, I may have a very headache, or even helpless, just like most ordinary parents.
I know that letting a child "communicate" is actually suppressing the child's "personality", but I don't have the courage to let the child go to school at home, and I am even more afraid that he can't bear the loneliness and result of "uncommunity".
After all, I may be just an ordinary and mediocre mother. Being in a group is the most likely ending I can give him, even if it is mediocre light.
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