deeply felt by many people (including myself). After being exposed to family therapy, I was even more shocked by the impact of childhood experiences on people.
It can be said that the thing that has the greatest impact on people is a triangle: life (meaning of life), death (fear of death), family (coping mode).
The influence of family will undoubtedly run through our lives, or that our entire life process uses various forms to show the family's influence on us-because our entire childhood, at the beginning of life, is the most suitable When the world’s first impression is made, our positioning of life, human nature, and the environment in which we live is formed in childhood. Yes, the formation of this impression has a deep-rooted influence on us. In some cases, we even It takes a lifetime to remove the impact on us at that stage until the end of life.
The two protagonists in the movie, Enrique and Ignacio, grew up in a church school. The director did not explain why they had to leave their parents and live there, but it is conceivable that there must be a reasonable reason behind this.
Without the safe environment created by their parents, children try to learn to live independently by themselves. However, there must always be an authority in their lives. This person's social identity is a priest and a Chinese teacher. However, for childhood children, this person also represents the spirit, the world, and love.
Enrique showed homosexuality at a very young age, and it was obvious that his homosexuality was born. One night after the young couple watched a movie together, they expressed their love for each other in a young but sincere manner. At that moment, they were full of beautiful emotions that flowed between people. But soon this beauty was torn apart by the priest who broke in. He violated Ignacio, and Ignacio silently suffered the pain that destroyed his entire sense of security and existence, because he naively hoped that this could be exchanged for staying with Enrique. Sweet time.
However, the priest deceived him, and Enrique was still sent away.
This experience of Ignacio is full of deception, betrayal, tearing, humiliation, disillusionment and fear. The movie uses a torn person in two to express the pain that strikes the soul.
When we were too young in childhood, we would think that the order of an adult is everything, and we would think that if we disobey the order, we may "unable to survive." Any infringement from the outside world has no other choice but to accept, and you may also think that it is something you should bear, and feel guilty for not being able to bear it well.
Any infringement will arouse our strong and huge emotional response, but this emotional response is often not well recognized and accepted, and there is no chance to be vented in time. Generally, it is suppressed to the depths of the subconscious and cannot be quenched. Use other forms to express indirectly when preventing.
As a result, some people may find it difficult to control their own emotions, make loud noises uncontrollably, and have very low emotional touch points. As long as someone else’s eyes can trigger a strong emotional response;
some people take physical self-harm, because Psychologically and mentally, it’s too painful, and the pain is unbearable, so I have to use the way to transfer physical pain. Physical pain is easier to bear than psychological pain;
some people develop borderline personality disorder and use hysteria. People’s emotions, frequent suicide threats to gain attention to drive away the fear of "I have no value";
some people will develop autism or agoraphobia, fear of contact with others, and have difficulty trusting others to protect themselves from Getting hurt.
Of course there may be other forms.
In the movie, Ignacio chooses to abuse his body by taking drugs and plastic surgery to divert the painful experience. At the same time, he chooses to lock up his feelings with his family to avoid further harm, even in the face of such a loving mother.
In the final stage of his life, he used writing to heal himself, just as the filming of this film actually meant the director Almodovar.
Art forms such as writing, music, painting, film, dance, etc., all have a great healing effect on people. Our emotions and feelings are actually just some images. These images are intangible and can only be unspeakable. However, it is precisely because of their only intentions and unspeakables that there will be diffuse and unexplainable profound emotional experiences. However, when we choose to speak it in a logical language, it is equivalent to rationally interpreting, sorting out, experiencing and facing this smoke-like diffuse feeling. This is a process of translation, and translation needs to be focused. Yes, concentration of feeling, concentration, concentration of strength, concentration of experience, concentration of memory, the process of concentration itself has a deep healing effect-this is one of the principles why psychological counseling is effective.
Reminiscent of Freud's "art creation is the expression of excess sexual energy", these words are still very reasonable.
Are you my cup of tea?
Whether in life experience or in consulting work, I increasingly find that there is an invisible magnetic field between people. Once you get closer, you can deeply appreciate the magnetic field that envelops someone else's body, and within a few seconds you can judge whether the person in front of you has something to attract me—especially in front of love.
Some people interpret this magnetic field as the basic element of love at first sight, but I think love at first sight is actually more of falling in love with your own imagination, or more precisely, falling in love with your own illusion, rather than the real person.
The magnetic field mentioned here is more of a person's inner space and spiritual sense. However, the feeling of this thing is the least able to use logical language and words to convey it.
There is a magnetic field interacting between people. I think the reason why psychological counseling emphasizes the personal growth of psychological counselors is also directly related to the vibration of this magnetic field. The human magnetic field continuously contacts with the visitor's magnetic field to warm, moisturize, tolerate, and correct. Then at a certain moment, the visitor can have the power to use what they have learned, show their wisdom, and grow.
In the movie, there is an opponent scene between Enrique and Juan in the swimming pool, which is about this magnetic field.
Enrique was swimming in the pool. Juan stood in the pool and took off his clothes. He took off his shirt and jeans to reveal his white underwear. Suddenly he looked up and saw Enrique who was looking at him with his head exposed in the pool. After a pause of about one second, he decided not to go into the water naked-from this detail, it can be seen that Juan was never gay. The reason why he chose to have physical contact with the priest and Enrique was only because that could satisfy his material desires. So when I saw his painful expression under Enrique's body, I deeply sympathized and understood his pain, which reminded me of those who are engaged in high-paying jobs, but they hate the content and form of the job. Their choices are so similar to juan.
I don’t know if people have asked themselves this question: For life, does the process bring you more lasting happiness, or is it the result?
Enrique came out of the pool. He walked to the red chair naturally naked and wrapped his body in a bath towel.
The two people started a conversation.
Enrique in the conversation was very sad, but Juan was still fighting for the role he wanted, and he didn't feel anything strange at all.
At that moment I could almost hear the voice in Enrique's heart: You, Ignacio, how did you become like this? What about that innocent boy with a natural singing voice? What about the eyes that are as clear as lake water? What about a pure mind with a bit of depression?
However, at this time, neither Enrique nor I knew that this was not Ignacio at all. The real Ignacio had already left the world.
Enrique sensitively smelled something strange and different from Ignacio when he saw Juan for the first time. Yes, his feelings were not wrong, and he could find the sense of similarity. It was not like Juan’s attention to the outside world, asking for material, when necessary. The body can be exchanged for anyone who desires anything.
As for artists,
who would like those gorgeous colors? Asking this sentence, a name popped out of my mind: Van Gogh. I believe that if the writer Lu Yao also paints, he will also choose similar colors, jumping, high brightness, high saturation, and strong contrast.
At the beginning of the movie, I was shocked by the jumping colors, bright red curtains, beige walls, orange and bright yellow clothes. Well, it is rare to see such contrasting colors appear in the language of movies.
I think that is the color that can drive away the haze. I think that people who are stuck in darkness but are relentlessly pursuing light will love it extremely.
Soon I learned that the director is a homosexual. I deeply feel that Ignacio and Enrique in the movie are both his incarnations. The sexual fantasies, the sadness, the deep sense of loss brought by the characters, and Enrique's Perplexity and powerlessness run through.
I remember seeing a sentence many years ago: "You are an artist, and your whole family is an artist." I don't know since when "artist" became a derogatory term. It seems that when you think of artists, you think of sloppy, artificial, fake art, packaging, etc. Vocabulary that makes people associate badly.
The sudden departure of actor Jia Hongsheng not long ago caused people to sigh for a while. I accidentally saw him on a reporter’s blog describing a meeting with Jia Hongsheng a few years ago. The original text is nowhere to be found, but I still remember the words "lost", "childless" and "lonely" he used.
I believe that everyone has something similar to the original.
And those born artists are born to experience loneliness and pain. Or it can be said that the feeling of loneliness and pain that cannot be shaken off is the source of their creativity. In this sense, what artists have to do is not to get rid of that loneliness and pain, but to learn how to reconcile with loneliness. Get along with pain and treat them as your own friends, your own partners, or even the confidants who have created your own talents.
Transform that loneliness and pain into works of art. In the process of transformation and creation, you can experience your own sense of existence, mourn the things that have passed away, and sublimate your soul and the meaning of life in the process of investing in that process.
Knowing oneself is a long process, but accepting oneself is the homework to be done in a lifetime.
Our life is a process of knowing ourselves and accepting ourselves. Perhaps, until the end of life, we still have not been able to complete this homework, but we have been on the road, and have been moving in that direction. As for how much we can go, we can go. It depends on chance to reach the depth.
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