I'm nineteen this year, and in my mother's words, she was already pregnant with me when she was so old. When I saw this show in high school, I felt the picture was rough and boring, so I was a sophomore in the cold Canada. It sounds like I've grown up, but I found that I've always been a child, self-centered, selfish, pouting when I'm not satisfied, emotional, and ignorant.
Today is the second day of my brokenhearted, first love, six months, he accompanied me through the coldest time in Canada. put up with my bad temper. In the beginning, we were very much like Adam and Hanna, we were greedy for the warmth of hugs. Later, the two opened up their hearts and kept learning to love someone. He doesn't like formal things, but I always like the unrealistic romantic fantasy in Korean dramas. He tolerated me when I was doing my best, he used to be like a child, and I was like hanna, a young literary woman with a lot of fun. I will manage him in the name of love, oppress him, and give him all my enthusiasm without reservation. This relationship has made me grow a lot in the process of getting along. Even if we break up, both of them have their own right and wrong. When I was in love, I loved it well. The bits and pieces of the past together made me think that I would never be able to fall in love with others anymore, but think about it, there will be more ahead.
A large part of the reason for the end of this relationship is that I relied too much on him in the later period, relying on his love to consume and torture him. But he forgot that he was just a 21-year-old boy, he would be tired, he would lose his freshness, and he would feel that the girl in front of him was no longer the one who brought my heart to me. Yet at the end of the relationship I didn't forget to be aggressive and let myself get the upper hand.
I don't know when I can grow up and be as handsome as those sensible girls. I've always been too selfish, hurt others, and realized it with hindsight.
I should be brave, be myself, and be happy without relying on the love of others. If there is still a chance, I will cherish the imperfect him. I'm just afraid that when I finally recognize what kind of person I am, when I finally put aside those unrealistic fantasies, the person who walked with me and made me grow up will no longer be there.
I can only tell myself that he no longer loves me, be strong, be brave, the stormy seas ahead, lush greenery, the sound of birds and flowers, no matter what, you have to rely on yourself.
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