Author / Lace Jun
How important premarital sex education is, you can see after watching the movie "On Chesil Beach".
Because the first night did not go well, embarrassed, nervous, and finally uncontrollable, the hero and heroine, Edward and Florence, a pair of young people who love each other broke up angrily.
In the film, their "bed scene" and "foreplay" are almost over from the beginning to about 70 minutes, but they are not the biggest attraction. The lack of premarital sex education and the frustration at the beginning of the night are the direct reasons for the breakdown of their relationship, but they are not the most fundamental reasons.
1
The main plot of the story takes place before the advent of the Western Sexual Liberation Movement in the 1960s. The male protagonist Edward's father is a primary school principal and his family background is average.
According to the original plan, the married Edward will become the father of the heroine Florence, an employee of a successful businessman's company.
Edward lacked understanding of the social etiquette of the upper class. He didn't know how to tip the waiter, and he couldn't taste the red wine that was secretly mixed with water by the waiter... He loved Florence deeply, but facing her, more or less self-abasement.
So, they separated because the class was too far apart, and the family was not in the right household. Shouldn't they be together?
It cannot be said that there is no connection, however, this is still not the essential reason.
2
Continue to see their respective families.
Edward's mother, who had been hit by a train and suffered brain damage, was a little nervous. Go topless all day, paint in the house, or run into the garden and talk to the birds.
An abnormal mother who doesn't care about housework, let alone can give Edward a family education and warmth.
There is such a scene in the play, Edward received a notice, he received a first-class degree in history. He wants to share his joy with others, but he has been busy with work, his father, who is running around to support the family, is not at home; his mother is painting. He opened the notice in front of his mother.
Mother turned a blind eye, she said:
"Now tell me, yellow like this, has two meanings. Meaning and numbers."
The mother's response was nonsensical, meaningless.
In such a family, with such a different mother than others, Edward was lonely and desperate.
Edward was also afraid that he was like his mother and had a brain problem. I was so scared that I even emphasized to Florence on the wedding night:
"She has brain damage, but mine doesn't. I'm not like her."
And what about Florence? She came from a wealthy family, but was not much luckier than Edward.
The family was having breakfast and she was talking about Edward when her father came in from outside the house and put his hand on her back, and she looked uneasy and a little scared.
In another scene, she was lying on the bed as a child, with her arms around her chest, wincing and fear on her face. We could feel that her father was all around her.
Her father is a huge shadow in her life.
There are all indications that Florence was repeatedly sexually assaulted by her father.
And her mother didn't know what her father had done to her, but she pretended not to know.
Florence describes to Edward that her mother, yours, was brain-damaged, while "my mother pretended to be brain-damaged."
Therefore, this is the most fundamental reason why they can't be together: the unfortunate family of origin makes them insecure, with flawed characters, and they don't know how to communicate deeply and support each other .
3
The family of origin, the sexually conservative era should bear a great responsibility for their separation.
However, no matter how you complain about that era, those encounters, frankly speaking, can't change the reality.
After all, the only person they, or we, can rely on and change is themselves.
If he could listen carefully when she said there was a little secret she wanted to share, he could sense her hesitation and fear.
If she can tell him it's okay when he is nervous, embarrassed, or overwhelmed, I will always be with you.
If they were at Chesil Beach, they could have communicated better instead of being vicious.
If they were not so young, they could be more mature, mature enough to understand each other's fragility, mature enough to guard each other's fragility.
They may not need to be separated.
Unfortunately, no if.
They were completely separated. More than ten years later, he has become a hippie, drinking for fun, indulging in sensuality, and having countless girlfriends. And she had children and fulfilled her musical dreams.
They all overcame the seemingly insurmountable sexual barrier in their own way.
What a pity, if they could do it all over again, they would surely find their way to each other.
So, when breaking up, give each other a little more time, be patient, don't pay too much attention to yourself, especially your own weaknesses, and don't be confused by the surface language of the other party. Let go when it’s time to let go, but if you still care a little bit, please listen to and understand the other person more deeply, don’t pretend to be decisive, don’t walk away without looking back.
It is this movie that gives us the greatest inspiration and its biggest attraction.
4
At the end of the film, decades have passed, and they are all gray-haired.
Edward went to see Florence's last performance, and he sat in the seat they had agreed to, seat 9 in row C. It was also their first meeting after their relationship broke up in Chesil Beach.
Florence on stage recognized him.
He wept, and so did she.
Everything is as described in Byron's poem: "If I see you again, after many years, how will I greet you? With tears and silence."
The years can't be turned back. For everything you missed in youth, don't expect to be compensated in your old age.
The film is based on the novel of the same name, and at the end of the book, author Ian McEwan wrote this:
"He could have called out to Florence [at Chesil Beach], he could have gone after her. He didn't know, or he didn't want to know, when she ran away from him. , In the pain of losing him, her love for him must be stronger than ever, or more difficult to extricate herself, if she can hear his voice at this time, she will get some relief, she will turn back."
However, "he just stood there coldly, righteously, without saying a word..."
No, don't be such a person.
Unless, you are 100% sure that you will not regret it now and in the future.
View more about On Chesil Beach reviews
