This is a puberty story about a middle-aged man.
The monologue of the whole chapter did not make the viewing experience boring, but as the inner struggle of the protagonist intensified, the plot was reasonably pushed forward step by step. In the end, the male protagonist found his lost self and solved the middle-aged confusion.
At every stage of life, there is a sign called "Lost".
During adolescence, we hate ourselves for not being "the children of other people, ask ourselves, who are we?" As the male protagonist's son said, "I don't know what I want to do either." Even if he is a "good boy" with excellent academics.
Middle-aged people begin to examine themselves. Compared with the ignorance of adolescence, the confusion of middle-aged people comes from dissatisfaction with themselves. Because he is over half a hundred years old, he hopes to find more trophies and awards than when he was a child to prove that he has not been wasted in the past few decades. If you don't get tangled, you don't have to think, but if you are entangled, nine out of ten people will fall into the same middle-aged feeling of loss as the male protagonist.
I don't seem to be good, or even a failure.
Middle-aged people will also be abused by "middle-aged people from other people's homes". Old friends have reached the pinnacle of life one by one: some have their own companies, private jets, powerful wives, and children; Beach surfing, beautiful women embrace each other.
Digression: Our male protagonist is also a sad reminder. It seems that none of the old friends is not good. This character is probably one of the important reasons why he can't realize that he is actually very happy.
In short, in contrast, the male protagonist naturally began to doubt himself. Is there something wrong with my original career plan? Is my way of life out of tune with this era? Is I a complete failure? Is my wife too romantic and too easy to satisfy, making me lose my fighting spirit ?
He thought about the reason in his mind, but had no answer. This confusion turns into incompetent fury, and the male protagonist becomes more and more anxious.
So it seems to me that the male lead in the first half is a total jerk: sleepless in the middle of the night, rudely asking his wife, how much is your parents' house worth? If your parents die, how much will it be distributed to us? Treating son rudely Simple, trying to teach his son with his "life experience" at that time, telling him that romanticism cannot be eaten as a meal. And to himself, he was even more disappointed. Accompanying my son to go to college on the trip, because the membership level is low and can't get preferential treatment, I angrily decided to take it easy and upgrade to business class. However, when he gritted his teeth and decided to bleed and swipe his card, he was told that the original ticket was a discounted ticket and could not be upgraded. At this time, the male protagonist's negative emotions were completely ignited by the indifference, rudeness and arrogance of the airline staff, reaching a peak.
Sitting in his cramped economy-class seat with a demented face, he held the silver airline mileage card, which gave him no favours at all, with two fingers, and asked himself and his son, should he throw it away? The card that works is just like himself in his eyes, worthless and mediocre.
When his son responded that it is better to throw away such a useless card, the male protagonist hesitated again and again. He still said that the silver card was inserted back into the wallet and muttered to himself, "Leave it here first, keep it first."
This bridge is very important. The male protagonist didn't throw away the card that symbolized him, he didn't give up on himself, he was completely lost. He didn't abandon himself subconsciously, but groped forward while angry, even though he didn't know it at the time.
During the trip to see the school with my son, I just learned that my son likes music, and his temporary first choice is Harvard. This middle-aged father, who seemed to have not really cared about and understood his son for a long time, suddenly became excited. It turned out that my son was so good. If he was admitted to a famous school and embarked on the road of success, then my old father would be considered a success.
But the good times didn't last long, and he began to worry again that if his son became a successful person, he would look down on his old father. He worries about his son becoming like the kind of peer he now feels pain to think about.
We see that with such a fragile mind, even in the face of a happy event, this man who has been tortured by himself will immediately have negative associations.
Fortunately, the lovely son took the old father to meet a more lovely senior. Her character is like the young wife of the male protagonist, romantic, assertive, lively and cheerful. She saw the male protagonist's advantages and admired his advantages, which made the male protagonist feel respected, had the desire to talk, and had a major turning point.
After listening to the male protagonist's complaint, the female classmate said, "I think you are very happy."
The male protagonist was speechless.
The female classmate said that he did not understand real poverty or real misery.
The male protagonist was speechless.
He thought his life was completely denied, and this was the answer he thought about. Entirely denied.
"I feel so miserable!"
"No! You are not miserable!"
It's concise and straight to the heart.
In fact, it means that he is hypocritical, he has become careless, he has become fond of comparison, and he has become unable to face up to the beautiful people and things in his original intention.
This diss was hearty and hearty, and it woke me up a bit.
Originally, I was also immersed in the depression constructed by the male protagonist's monologue. I deeply felt that middle age was not easy, life was difficult and difficult, and I was overwhelmed. Now I can finally break free and understand that a person's loss is often self-sufficient without knowing how to be grateful.
Cherish the happiness you have. He tells you that when you do something embarrassing, he feels uncomfortable. But later he found out that in fact others don't care about you, only I care about you, so you don't have to care about other people's opinions.
You don't have to be like them to be happy either.
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