Everyone probably knows one or a few flawed people.
Either physically or mentally.
"Ben X" is the story of a child with autism.
If you don't spoil it, you won't feel the beauty of the reversal.
Let's talk about the people around me, those innocent people who have been hurt by cold violence or hot violence.
01
I have an elementary school classmate who was scalded by boiling water when he was young. The surface scars were very serious, his mouth was crooked, and his face was covered with scalded folds. It was quite scary.
His family seems to have average family conditions. His parents are vegetable sellers who sell vegetables at the vegetable market in front of our school. The management of him at home is relatively loose, and his appearance every day is sloppy.
His grades were also not very good, and the grades of primary school students in that era were all publicly announced. There was a natural gap between good students and poor students - especially poor students who were not very likable.
He's a boy, and we girls don't play with boys very much, so we generally stay away from him.
Looking back, I don't seem to have spoken to him in my entire elementary school years, and I even forgot his name now. If Time had a videotape, look over it, and there probably wouldn't even be a passing intersection between him and I.
And maybe it is a kind of cold violence, and this kind of cold violence is group. In our class, almost all girls treat him the same way.
The girls seemed to have formed a tacit understanding, naturally alienated him, hated him, regarded him as a plague, and even when he touched the stationery, they all wanted to cry in disgust.
What about boys?
Boys are different, directly hot and violent. Not only made fun of him, called him "crooked", but also made fun of him when he was okay. Throw his bag in the trash, stick a sticker on him, and don't get too bored.
At that time, he was the weapon used by boys to attack girls - "XX (his name) likes you!" As long as this rumor spreads, he can successfully provoke girls, ranging from a small fist to a heavy blow. The girl cried and complained to the teacher.
Sometimes I think about it, without the constraints of the superego, the badness of elementary school boys is really limitless. Look at the boys in "Ben X" who are evil to Ben, the school bullying can reach the level of a crime.
How fair is the teacher? I remember the guy sitting in the back row all year round, near the garbage dump, in the real free fly massage area. Does the teacher like him? Teachers like students with good grades. Does the teacher hate him? Not necessarily. In other words, the teacher didn't pay much attention to him. In "Ben X", the attitude of the teachers in the interview is also surprisingly "normal": we also want to protect Ben, but there are so many students, we can't pay attention to each student, right?
You say, is my elementary school classmate really that annoying? Anyway, for me, I don't know him, what can I hate about him? Not that he hated him along with the vast majority of the class. It seems that if you don't hate him, you will be hated by everyone along with him.
02
There is a cousin in my hometown, who seems to have congenital cerebral palsy. His hands and feet are all deformed, and he can't speak. He can make a few simple sounds, but only close relatives can understand.
I may have been to my hometown a few times since I was a child, and I have less chance to see him. Maybe I have seen him two or three times in my life, and it was only when I was very young.
I was only a few years old at the time, and when I saw him, I felt very scared, always staying far away, not daring to approach. Not only his hands and feet were deformed, but his face was also deformed. His mouth could not be closed, and he always drooled. He needed to be fed when he was eating and drinking. Once, I took a cup to drink water, and then I accidentally saw his family feed him water from the cup I drank. I was terrified, thinking that I was drinking from his cup, so scared and cried, even really. Physiological vomiting.
My parents thought something was wrong with me, and the adults came over to comfort me.
He is only cerebral palsy, but not mentally retarded, he has self-awareness and self-esteem. At that moment, even his parents didn't realize that their comfort to me was a kind of harm to him.
I don’t know if you have ever had such an experience, but to me, he was really like a devil, and even appeared in my nightmares—I still remember it to this day.
But what did he do to me? Nothing. He is just a poor man born with a disability.
But for how old I am, I really don't understand.
When the id was still stronger than the superego, some disgust really came from the heart. Although it was not correct and unnecessary, it was a child's instinctive tendency towards good and evil.
However, those who avoid, hate, and resist inadvertently or intentionally are all sharp knives for those with congenital defects. What kind of courage do they need to grow up well?
03
When I was in college, our department organized a visit to the Peizhi School.
We all know that the children in the Peizhi School are born with or acquired defects, or have Down syndrome, or cerebral palsy, or have hearing and visual impairments...
But they are really talented, some can draw, some can play the piano - the Zhouzhou everyone knows, yes, the conductor Zhouzhou, is the student of their school.
That day, the children performed for us, sang and danced for us, and held our hands, and I could feel their joy.
Of course, when I was in college, I had learned how to respect them, and we all applauded their hard work—they enjoyed our applause and cheers.
As for Zhou Zhou, I went to a concert of his after work, and I was deeply moved, even though I couldn't understand his conductor at all. That is a kind of blessing halo, I feel that he is so powerful, so awesome, so awesome.
Do they enjoy this cheer and encouragement? We think they are. But the self-statement of "Ben X" does not seem to be. This involves a philosophical proposition: Zi is not a fish, is it safe to know the joy of a fish?
However, we are all ordinary people without telepathy.
04
Here are a few stories that happened to me.
Now, my cousin has passed away, and his parents raised him into his 30s, which is a miracle for his condition.
As for my primary school classmate, I have lost contact with him for a long time. The last time I heard about him was a few years ago. It seems that he was injured at work or seriously ill. Some people started a water drop fund, and I also donated money to him. But I don't really remember whether it was donated or not.
The students of Peizhi School, I have never seen them again, how are they doing now? Did they find work? Will they also get married and have children?
What about Zhouzhou? The most recent news report was in April when the media interviewed his 70-year-old father, who was worried about the future of his 40-year-old conductor son.
is very indifferent. Life is not indifferent. In the era of information explosion, there are too many tragedies happening every day, too many troubles to worry about every day, there is really not much we can do.
05
In fact, the stories I've told are all from the perspective of a so-called "normal person" like me, looking at those who are different from us.
The protagonist of "Ben X" is an autistic patient. He can train to level 80 in the game and become a god that everyone respects, but he cannot communicate with others in life. He was discriminated against, insulted, and teased at school. He tried to restrain his emotions, he tried to integrate into society, but he was still suffering. From his first-person perspective, he made me feel what a "special person" thinks of normal people around him.
The ending of the story, the director handles it warmly and directly to the heart, it is neither sad nor violent, but very "creative", just like Ben's attitude towards death.
Ma Dongdong said that the background of life is sad.
The scalded classmate, he spent his whole life being "different", this is the sadness that the pot of boiling water gave him; the classmates who bullied him and alienated him seemed to be superior, but they were also saddened by ignorance; The helplessness and indifference of the parents is not a mediocre sadness, just like you and me as adults, there is really not much you can do;
My cousin, he was born with a disease, this is the sadness given to him by God; his parents, who have been taking care of their disabled son all their lives, are equally sad. What about the terrified childhood me? In those real fears, in those nightmares that turn around at midnight, there is a small and powerless sadness.
So, since both are sad, what is the difference between you and me?
That's what the Ben X story is all about. It provides a brand-new perspective, which allows us to see the "special perspective" of "special people": for the so-called normal people, autism is also full of pity, disdain, fear and love - just like you and me .
Yep, it's nothing different.
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