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However, in the end there was no more. He was already with her, she carefully cut the tomato with her right hand and smiled, he also held the bread with his right hand, and dropped the crumbs when he put it in his mouth, but also smiled, he asked her: " What did you dream about last night?" She said, "Nothing." In the dream last night, there was a stag and a doe: sometimes the stag looked back at the doe; there were Sometimes the female deer ran into the forest, and the stag ran after it; sometimes they stood by the little pond and looked at each other; sometimes they went to the creek to find the fresh leaves, and occasionally they touched their noses.
But last night there was no more dream, he didn't dream like his stag chasing the doe, and she didn't dream like his doe got a tender leaf from him, even if there was a quiet wood there, There is a white world covered with snow, a stream flowing quietly, but there are no deer, no more them. Where did the dream go? Why is it blank when they come together? Last night's dream disappeared into today's daily life? Can red tomatoes, white crumbs, and two people's smiles replace the dream that always sparkles with romance?
Meeting in a dream is somewhat illusory. When two people go into daily life, the dream dissolves its illusory color. The so-called reality, in a smile, is also romantic like a dream. When this final destination is realized in the way of love, can there really be no dreams? But the dream in the past was not a dream of a single person. When the theft of mating powder happened in the slaughterhouse where they worked, and when the police used a psychiatrist to detect whether everyone was lying, that dream was opened. Ender, the financial director of the slaughterhouse, first recounted the dream that haunted him all the time. "In my dream, I was a deer, and I probably did what a deer should do." To drink water, is to find tender leaves, but the main thing is to be with the doe. Later, the psychiatrist also asked Marika, who is a quality inspector, and she also began to describe her dream: "I was foraging in the snow with my companions, and found a new tender leaf, and he gave me the leaf to eat... "It's also a walk in the woods, it's also looking for young leaves, and it's also with the stag.
The dream opens, two different people have the same dream, the psychiatrist's question is: who is lying? Or are they kidding? But no, when they sat together in front of the psychiatrist, they all denied that they were imagining dreams. When the two stood by the railroad tracks, he walked slowly to her and said, "A strange coincidence." The next day, he He told her about his dream last night, still like his stag, still like her doe, still together, and she also smiled and said that she had the same dream; on the third day, he The dream was written on the paper and folded, and she also wrote the plot of the dream on the paper. They exchanged it. After reading the text inside, he smiled and said, "See you tonight."
Different people have the same dream, this is a strange coincidence, but it also slowly pulls them to the same world, he gave her his own phone, and she went to buy a mobile phone for the first time; she told him when she passed by He: "We can sleep together tonight." He called at night and said, "I wish you a good night's sleep." They did not live together, but they met in the same dream, and the same dream was like the soul of the soul. Fit, let them separate in different beds, but enter the world of love together. It's romantic and beautiful, but why is there no dream when we are together in the end, and why does the union of the flesh kill the illusory dream?
Dream beyond reality? Or did reality start another dream? Can't body and soul, like reality and dream, be perfectly united? Or it wasn't a "strange coincidence", as Marika once asked the old doctor: "Is it possible for two people to meet in a dream?" No matter how much they love each other in reality, no matter how far apart they are. When they come together, two people have the exact same dream, it can only be a myth in the surreal sense, it is just a metaphor, and this metaphor is not at all how two hearts go from estrangement to fusion. Love is how one finds one's lost self, how one creates another self in an imaginary dream, just like the song that Marika sings over and over again for love: "Please find me back..."
There is only one single person, only one dream that is not coincidental. In the slaughterhouse, Ender rarely interacts with people. He always sits in his office and sees people walking under the glass window. His work route is the cafeteria besides the office, and when he comes home from get off work, he is also alone. , his wife may have left, and his daughter occasionally comes to see him. The sentence she asks him is: "Why don't you even have bread crumbs in your house?" Living alone without bread crumbs means taking away the most basic survival. He lives in his own world, but is lost there, and this loss makes him want to find himself.
What has he been through? What triggered him to walk into his dream? Ender alone, the story of what happened between him and his wife, or a hidden clue, when the mating powder was stolen, the first question the psychiatrist asked him was not about dreams at all, but "what are you doing?" When was the nocturnal emission?" "About ten years old." Ender said, the female psychiatrist looked at him ambiguous, "It's early." Why does the psychological search for theft ask about the time of the nocturnal emission? For a man, nocturnal emission means that his sexual consciousness begins to mature, and the female psychiatrist asked him this question, which is completely a situational exploration: when Ender walked in, he saw the plump female doctor. chest, and then his eyes paused for a few seconds. When the female doctor looked up at him, he said apologetically about his actions just now.
He was afraid of paying attention to the female body, but unconsciously entered the self-imagined sexual world, so the female doctor noticed his contradiction and asked him the time of nocturnal emission, and then asked about the dream. The first question she asks when a stag and a doe are in is: "Have they mated?" The slaughterhouse has stolen the potion used to mate bulls and cows, "It only takes three minutes to mate. "This is a powerful mating drug, and when humans interfere with animal mating, it is actually not legal, and it goes against the natural state of sex. After entering the door, Ender stared at the female doctor's plump breasts, and then apologized again and again, and then the stag and the doe appeared in the dream, so the female doctor asked the most important clue about Ender's life: "Are you Don't have erectile dysfunction?"
Erectile dysfunction can mean that Ender has suffered mental trauma, or has been suppressed in physical union, so Ender is no longer a normal man physically and psychologically. The disability of his left hand also seems to be about the man being Castration metaphor. So Ender is a person who is lost in his sexual life, and this loss is caused by the repression of reality, in addition to the possibility of marriage with his wife. Ender is the financial director of this slaughterhouse. Although he is always sitting in his office, he is in contact with the flesh of animals every day and witnesses the process of their life and death. The cows were kept there, then released one by one, then lost their lives in the operation of the machine, and finally cut, bleed, slaughtered, and finally became food for human consumption.
The flesh appeared in front of his eyes and entered his mouth. When a person lives in such an environment, is he still interested in the human flesh? Still have urges for women? Those mating powders that make bulls and cows mate are not sexual at all, but only for production, for money, for consumption. So for Ender, the body is just a corpse, just food, which also allows him to gradually eliminate his yearning for sex, that is, in such a repressed and mutated world, it seems that he can only invent himself through dreams. Love, also in this sense, whether it is Marika as a woman or Sando as a nerd, are both his imaginary people and a shadow of himself.
Sando was a newly recruited worker by him. When Ender asked him what he thought about these animals during the interview, Sando answered directly: "I don't feel sorry for them." This may be the reason for Aner when he chose this job. De, he had no sympathy for the animals that were slaughtered, and had no regrets about their deaths, they were just animals, just meat for human consumption, and when Sando entered the slaughterhouse, he was seen as a pornographer, and he always Teasing and flirting with female employees, and satisfying their own desires in a joke, this is Ender on the other side, when his hands are disabled, when men cannot get out of erectile dysfunction, or they can only satisfy themselves in such actions. And Sando is actually the one who stole the mating powder, a metaphor that more directly presents the self-imposed exile of a castrated man - like an animal, using drugs to complete the mating.
Of course, this lost Ender is hidden, and in normal life, there are carnal desires like animals everywhere: the fat man once asked Ender: "Did my wife have sex with you?" Because he knew his wife Almost slept with half of the men in the factory, this is a slutty woman, this is the lust of the physical world, Ender denies it, he must maintain his identity, but that night, the woman who slept next to Ender who is it? He let her go back in the middle of the night, "I'm the only one who can sleep." But this loneliness is a state after pure physical union, it can't change Ender's physical desires, and it is in this sense that he needs to Find yourself in the lost.
So Marika must be his fictional ideal self, or a symbol to make up for his man's flaws and achieve the perfect union of flesh and spirit. Marika is not an old employee in the slaughterhouse, she became a quality inspector as a replacement, which is undoubtedly a fiction of Ender. She is a lonely person who sits in the dark and cold testing office almost every day. She is also a rigid person. "The rules are my guidelines." So the skin of the meat is 2 mm thicker, so she put these The top meat is B. Lonely, rigid, and following the rules, this may have been Ender, so Ender started with a fictional past.
However, Marika was indifferent and rigid in front of others, but opened her heart in her own world. She imitated the situation when she met Ender for the first time, and then said what she should say, and when she liked Ender At that time, I deliberately passed Ender and said, "You are actually pretty." This is a kind of confidence Ender gave himself, and in this confidence of appreciating himself like a woman, Ender's fictional dream More and more toward perfection, and the self in the dream also began to walk out of the suppressed life. After the "strange coincidence", Marika bought a new mobile phone, which is the beginning of communication; she went to the video store to listen to love songs, and one of the lyrics was "please find me back"; she also went to the park to spy on couples Kissing, spraying water on yourself, sleeping with the newly bought bear, letting it touch your body... A feeling of love is actually a perfect combination of body and spirit, and Ender is in that handicapped man. In the world, there is a need for such a perfect self, which needs to be opened up in flesh and spirit.
And Marika's suicide that night was what really revealed the cause of Ender's character. When Marika met Ender, she asked him, "We can sleep together tonight." But Ender refused, "This is not suitable for us." Marika was refused by Ender to enter the dream of sleeping together, In fact, Ender was also rejected by others in another sense, so at night, Marika lay down in the bathtub and cut her wrist with broken glass, and during the suicide process, Marika received Ender "I think I'm going to die, but I love you." Marika gave up the idea of suicide, and she finally walked towards her own love on the night of "I love you". And all of this is actually what Ender experienced: he was rejected, he chose to commit suicide, but in the end he defeated Li himself, walked out of the lost world, and completed the naming of himself.
No two people have the same dream, there is no Marika, there is no love between men and women, everything is Ender's struggle to break free from loss and repression, from the desire of the flesh to the self that combines flesh and spirit - everything Marika has experienced It is Ender's past. Marika's injured left hand is Ender's traumatic memory. Marika's entry into his world is also the beginning of Ender's new life: there are tomatoes, crumbs, and smiles. The left hand gathers the crumbs on the table, which is also a metaphor for Ender's recovery after the injury - when the past has been buried, when the reality is full, when the self is rediscovered, what is the use of that fictional dream?
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