You either have no money to have kids, or have the money but too busy to actually care about your kids.
Since i just broke up with my ex a couple months ago after our discussions on marriage and child-rearing, I felt so much when I was watching the movie. The major conflict of our argument: how much money do you plan to make before you feel ready to have kids, 100k a year? 250k a year? or more? My ex came from a very wealthy family, and he wants to give his kids the kind of life his parents gave him. Nevertheless, he decided not to take over his family business like his father did (thus, the source of money), but went to medical school after long years of struggle. After graduating med school, he struggled yet again with what kind of doctor he wanted to be. So he wasted some more years there (quit his previous residency program, went on bike trips, came back and applied for his current program).All this time yielded him with not much saving and a not very well paid residency (compared to what someone working for his father makes). I'm not saying that people with lower income shall not have children. I have friends who had kids during their medical residency and fellowship and live pretty happily (also frugally in some way). Honestly, it is completely doable with two people having that sort of income put together, way better than the bartender+nanny in the movie, and with promising future ( and increasing income). This is where the mid-class fall.it is completely doable with two people having that sort of income put together, way better than the bartender+nanny in the movie, and with promising future (and increasing income). This is where the mid-class fall.it is completely doable with two people having that sort of income put together, way better than the bartender+nanny in the movie, and with promising future (and increasing income). This is where the mid-class fall.
My lesbian friend Holly, who has been giving me much support during the break-up process, always wanted to have kids (at least she says so). She prefers dating women who want to raise kids with her (she's more of a tom boy and expects her partner to bear the kids). She asked, half-joking: would you like to have kids with me, and we can be like parents (except for the sex part)? After all, it's a joke, because she would still seek for real relationship outside that 'family' she was talking about establishing. But at least she thought about it and she bought her own home (a town house).
So what's the actual cost of raising a kid into adulthood and what do people think of that?
Most recent reports say that it takes $230000 to do so. Or about $1000 a month. It seems right to me. It has been heavily discussed issue due to the demographic changes in Japan and now in China and starting in US. The whole population is aging without enough young labors. Nursing homes are going to cost more and more. Mid-class are less and less willing to have kids because it's so expensive. And it gets worse.
Some stupid comments on line claimed that the demographic structure will be ok (not overly aged) since all the Indian and Chinese immigrants are popping out so many babies. This is such bullshit. Most of the educated Indian and Chinese I know have 2 kids, or 3 in some cases, and 1 in other cases. In contract, the ones who keep popping out babies are the Latinos and African Americans with lower education levels. Not to mention that most Indian and Chinese couples do get married and have children wile most Poorly-educated, low-income Latin American and African American children are raised by single moms. Look at Memphis, more than half the population are blacks. And almost half of the babies born here are raised by single moms. Do stupid people who were making those comments see this? Talking about finding someone to get married in Memphis:how is it possible when half the households here are run by single parents!!!???
Another absurd comment I read was on the housing cost for kids. People argue that: you already bought a house and are paying the morgage anyway. Having a baby does not increase that cost. That's totally wrong. Say, if Holly and I are a lesbian couple, we can just live in her midtown 2b2b townhouse happily. Mortage will be no sweat if we put our income together. But if we are a married couple with kids? We will have to move to a 4b house in the suburb (say we have two kids of opposite sex...and maybe one guest/study room) where the good schools are. That house will cost double what the midtown townhouse does. Not to mention that the woman in the family always risk compromising their career, making it harder to bring in more income. Well maybe the husbands get promoted more often after having children (it's actually true...).
I think people who have serious careers (not that they have to be successful) and decent families are really great.
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