One of the hard-earned lessons I've learned in the years I've lived is this: Once you start expecting something, you're bound to be disappointed. This fucking theorem made me go up and down countless times, with great joy and great sorrow. The more certain things feel in control, there will always be an unexpected factor in the end that rewrites the ending. The harder you work, the worse things get. In the end, what you gain is only the disappointment falling from the void, and the emptiness.
It can be said that The Butterfly Effect is an amplification of this experience. At least for me. It amplified my frustration and powerlessness, and negativity. What else can be done? Sometimes I even think, damn it, no matter how hard I wave it, it won't get the effect I want, so I might as well put away my wings, eat it and wait to die. It's just a matter of having that kind of determination. But I'm always unwilling... Maybe, maybe it's only a little short, and it can be achieved with a little more effort? Maybe the luck has not arrived, and the shit can be lucked tomorrow? So I fell again and again, and fell half dead. I'll have to try it cheaply next time.
"The Butterfly Effect 2" is nowhere near as compelling as the first, I think. Makes me feel ridiculous. Funny ending. The protagonist chose to die, which seems tragic, but is actually cowardly. Does death necessarily bring consummation? Who can be sure that no new problems will arise? ——But as a dead person, no matter what the outcome is, it has nothing to do with him. He escaped without taking any responsibility for the ending. Suicide is also a delicate act. On the surface, he gave up the desire to control, and gave up on the outcome of things. But what was he thinking at the moment he was about to die? What he wanted was to save others through the death of one. To put it bluntly, he is still wishful thinking to change the outcome. He never gave up control. Not till death. The real enlightenment is to give up completely and let it go. Even though he knew that misfortune was ahead, he still walked forward laughing and joking. When love is love. To die is to die.
If you can be so calm, there will be a lot less trouble in the world. The paradox is that, as human beings, we are too greedy. Although I am fully holding today, it is not enough. We want to whitewash yesterday, and we want to determine tomorrow. I want to be in control, I want to be fulfilled. Why does the game have so much magic power for us, because the powerless in reality can be promiscuous in the game. Not the obscenity of the content, but the obscenity of the way. We save over and over, and then lord, we can make things happen in a way that goes against the laws of nature. Desires are endless, so suffering is endless. Together with greed, there are many evils. When our desires are disillusioned, we don’t have to fight for the ground, because we are all asking for it.
And according to my analysis of human beings for many years, another major feature of this species is that it does not hurt when standing and talking. For example, I pretended to be talking about the above nonsense in a deep and deep manner. First of all, I myself have not been able to jump out of the circle of desire, and secondly, I have never given up control. I want to control but I can't, what should I do? To die, to become a monk, and to go mad, these are the top three paths. The next three ways are to make ends meet, evolve into masochism, and deceive others. What I'm good at is self-deception. I've been doing this for years. Whenever I look forward to something, I forcibly suppress the desire, pretend to be indifferent, and rush to put out the fire in my heart. Of course, sometimes the fire is too big to be extinguished, but those little desires can still be dealt with. After all, I have been cultivating for many years. This way of saving the country by curve is sometimes very useful. The best ending is to hide from the sky, fool God successfully, and give me a result that I don’t need but I really need. The next point is to make fakes come true, and there is no real desire, so even the ending is omitted. No matter how bad it is, you can comfort yourself. Look, I think it's impossible, isn't this what I expected? At least mentally I won.
I remembered that year, when I was riding a bike with Aben looking for a gas tank, and when I really needed something, I couldn't see a single thing on the floor (this was another profound experience). I passed this on to Aben, and she started casting a spell: "We don't need a gas tank, we don't need a gas tank..." Soon we found the gas tank. There are always things in this world that can't be explained, aren't they? This trick is sometimes really clever. Faith is spirit. So now, every day I mutter:
I don't need women, I don't need women... I don't need money, I don't need money... I don't need happiness, I don't need happiness... I don't need world peace, I don't need world peace...
No need, no need, really no need.
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