The plot progresses calmly, just like walking into a family around you and watching their lives with restraint and sadness.
The biggest feelings come from the ups and downs of Olive and Henry's marriage and the conflict in their relationship with their children.
About their marriage:
1. Their marriage model -
Olive, who fits her psychological needs, is stubborn, mean and indifferent. She is simply the devil of the people around her. Henry, on the other hand, is a typical philanthropic figure, full of love for his surroundings and radiating the love of God all over him. The two are not the same people, but they are very able to meet each other's inner needs. Olive needs the pleading love of others, and the person who needs great love to heal her despair in the world. Henry is a very suitable person. The person who loves the most is very willing to help and care for the disadvantaged groups or those who are deficient and lacking in love, so as to obtain the satisfaction of the role of savior. So Olive's psychological disability can really inspire Henry's great love, making him never want to give up on each other, or how to call it a savior. It is not a complementary type, but it is a fit type, a fit in psychological needs.
2. In the extramarital affair in the middle of the marriage,
both of them have extramarital affairs. Olive's extramarital partner is a down-to-earth poet and teacher. Poets are generally emotional, especially sad, full of grief for the world and longing for hormones, while Olive has despair for the world, and they are on the same road. It is normal for them to understand each other and attract or resonate with each other. They are all looking forward to being rescued. But the broken heart in Olive's heart is only useless to resonate emotions. She needs warm love to fill the hole. I think she has always had the idea of running away but didn't make up her mind because she knew in her heart that she She needs Henry's ardent love. If she gives up Henry and chooses to elope, the end must be the result of hurting each other with the poet.
Henry's affection for the clerk's little girl, Dennis, is like a small animal. This is just a manifestation of the lover's desire to raise each other and protect him. This affection is similar to a father's desire to protect his daughter. But there are two possibilities for girls to grow up. One is that they are overprotected and do not want to grow up and continue to be stupid, which is very tiring. Even the person who loves the most is limited in their tolerance of stupidity. Such feelings cannot satisfy her expectations for love. So it was very wise for Henry to withdraw in time.
3. In the "truth" of marriage,
Olive quarreled with her son, saying that marriage was not what you imagined. What is marriage like? In the play, Olive's marriage has always been in disputes, but she never gives up easily, and eventually leads to a harmonious ending. In a long marriage, driven by hormonal interference and human weakness, people who "fall in love" with others will have the urge to escape, but they will eventually become irrelevant bits and pieces under the polishing of life, as long as they don't easily choose to give up (this Except for incurable marriages such as domestic violence, frequent derailment, etc.). Is marriage the grave of love? Don't look at this issue in such a pessimistic generalization. People are only divided into two types: men and women. Most marriages have similar combinations, and you will find that the types of opposite sex that attract you are actually similar, so many extramarital affairs objects are just repetitions of the type of love you chose at the beginning. Although extramarital affairs are exciting and full of passion, they will become dull as time goes by. If you choose to break through the marriage and enter a new marriage, the ending is the same, if you don’t know how to grow and reflect.
So in the second half of the plot, Olive and Henry are actually getting better and better. Companionship may be the truth of a long and foggy marriage.
ps: The scene where the two were robbed at gunpoint in the hospital was really heartbreaking. They said the words hidden in their hearts under the fear of each other. The intensity of the damage to each other can be imagined, especially for Henry, if you know The other party once didn't love themselves and wanted to elope with others, but they didn't run away just because the other party died. This truth is believed to be unbearable for many people. But Henry chose to forgive, which shows how big the heart of the one who loves is. What I feel here is that 1. There are many temptations outside marriage, but don't choose to try to hurt your partner easily. 2. In many cases, the temptation is just hormones, don't be easily deceived. Don't choose to give up the other party easily, of course, this is very difficult.
The sin of the family of origin in the parent-child relationship
has been the most discussed and hottest topic in psychology in recent years. The harm caused by a strong, unloving and mean mother to her children is very obvious. The derogatory and untimely mean and taunting of the mother since childhood made the child feel inferior and mean, and instead became a replica of the annoying mother. Oliver's son's first marriage partner is actually similar to her mother, such as being mean, the comments behind her mother-in-law's words are very mean, it is very possible for Chris to like each other, just like his own shadow, but after all The object of the second marriage obviously has the temperament of his father-tolerance, approachability, and fraternity, so the second marriage is very much like a copy of Olive and Henry, but stronger than Olive and Henry. The aspect is that the younger generation will be willing to learn and grow, so this marriage will definitely be happier than Oliver's marriage.
As the child's original family, Olive has never learned to grow up. Like many of our parents of the previous generation, she is rough and mean to her own children, but she is meticulous and considerate to the children of single mothers with mental illnesses. Will pay attention to maintaining the image of the teenage mother, observe the juveniles who come back to commit suicide when they grow up, and then save the other party from the gun. This is not like many parents around them, who are gentle to others, but mean to their relatives. This is because our older generation did not experience love, and if they did not know how to reflect or learn, they would treat their children in the same way. This is the most annoying thing about Olive.
As a child of mean parents, many psychology now teach children how to fight against the original family and how to get out of the influence of the original family. Chris is so far away from the influence of his parents and escaped the original family, but Chris's biggest problem is that he does not know how to reconcile with his mother. Therefore, even though she has been away for many years, she is still mean to her mother, and she still has the shadow of her mother on her body. Reconcile with the original family, reflect on their sins, reconcile with the parents of the original family, treat your parents tolerantly, forgive them, grow yourself, and maybe you will be able to get out of their shadows completely. Now many people say not to reconcile with the original family, because of the injuries they have suffered, why should they forgive them? Chris's current situation may give you better meditation. Although he has found a new partner to form a new family and is far away from his parents, and has been seeking the help of a psychiatrist, he is still very mean when evaluating his wife's eldest child when picking up the plane, and he is still scolding when he conflicts with his mother. Looking back at his deceased father, Chris is still living as a replica of his mother. Without reconciliation, it cannot be said that he has grown up completely.
In the end, the whole plot is full of faint sadness and strong loneliness, loneliness in marriage, loneliness in parent-child relationship, loneliness in the crowd, and finally the cold and utter loneliness when the lover dies and the child leaves, so that the audience can breathe together. Lonely, the taste is really very bad.
The fact that people are born alone is full of loneliness from childhood to death. During this period, people who come and go are just props to enrich our life. Only loneliness is the final color. It's really sad to think about.
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