We always habitually add modifiers such as "slowly" and "gradually" before the word "growth", and invariably believe that after the accumulation of years and the passage of time, "mature and sensible" can be like Tetris It accumulates in our body, and it is only when the accumulated Tetris is skewed and tilted due to different shapes, so that people are still as impulsive, irritable, gloomy and indifferent in middle age, people suddenly realize the importance of "self-recognition" .
Living in the shadow of her brother who shines like the sun, the heroine thinks that she has lacked attention and love since childhood. Due to her inferiority complex and her inner self, the heroine never opens her heart to care about the pain and pressure of the people around her. All the focus is on the dark side of one's life, and in the dark, crying and narcissism, like a depressed patient seeking pleasure in masochism, the wound is the hallmark evidence of survival. She refuses to accept that her brother and only friend fall in love. In her eyes, this is not a kiss, but a double deprivation in friendship and family. It is a vicious event that pushes her into a black hole of neglect and isolation. She fights , she theorized, she pleaded, but to no avail, so in this relationship, she chose confrontation and distance.
She feels that she is the most miserable person in the world. She has nowhere to stand with her good friends and her brother. She thought she could have a relationship with the male god she had a crush on, but the person she loves just wants a relationship. All together, she had nowhere to rescue her.
She felt that she was hunting cold wind by standing on the cliff, so she armed herself with the mentality of a victim and harmed others as she should. However, "growing up" is a momentary thing. When she understands the efforts made by the perfect brother for the family, all her wounds are like crayon drawings of children's mischief, and they disappear after washing. She recognized her selfishness and understood that her self-righteous resistance for a long time was just a farce to increase the burden on her family. At that moment, her brother's halo disappeared. He was just a family member, a relative who gave love and action. She was relieved and compromised. The most important thing was that she understood that in terms of the pressure on her brother and mother, her own wounds were forcibly opened by herself, and they were insignificant. Only then did you discover that, besides the dark side, there are more lovable lights that have been beckoning to you and that you have been turning a blind eye.
As we discussed at the beginning, "growing up" is not the accumulation of experience and time, but a small event that allows us to recognize and recognize ourselves.
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