But if one day, a sad thing happens in your life, and the way the two deal with it is very different, you will feel that he is so far away that you are unable to hold the pair of hands that once met forever.
The movie I'm going to introduce today is called "The Rabbit Hole". Directed by John Cameron Mitchell, Nicole Kidman, Aaron Eckhart and others participated in the performance, telling the story of a couple walking out of the shadow of losing their child together.
Becca (Nicole Kidman) and Hoy (Aaron Eckhart) are a happy couple with a happy relationship, a happy family, and a 4-year-old son, Danny (Phoenix Eckhart). Lister). But this wonderful life came to an abrupt end 8 months ago, when a car accident took the life of little Danny.
The young couple's relationship also fell into a quagmire. Undoubtedly, their hearts are both painful and difficult to get rid of, but their ways of cherishing and commemorating their children are different, beyond each other's understanding. As a result, they became more and more unfamiliar, more and more distant.
There is a happy self in another corner of the world.
Becca is a full-time wife. She is rational and mature, and tends to be restrained in expressing her emotions. After the death of her son, her life has not changed much, still following the previous habits and steps. In the morning, her husband went out to tend the garden, and in the evening when her husband came back, she prepared dinner.
She also doesn't believe in God or anything like that. She's sick of people who have lost their children in team support, calling them "god-believing lunatics."
One couple said, "God wants another angel." To comfort herself, the other fellow sufferers fell into grief. Becca couldn't control it and said angrily, "Why didn't he create another angel by himself, after all, he is God."
Becca not only did not believe in God, but even Quite resentful. She was convinced that if God was truly as merciful as everyone said, he would not cruelly take away people's children and make people suffer.
The children have left them, but life has to go on. In order to start a new life, Becca silently cleaned up the traces of her son's life in the house, and gave the dog that caused her son to a car accident to her mother.
She also plans to sell her current house and move to live elsewhere. She didn't want to see things related to her son, because these things would make her think of her son and make her feel bad again and again.
One day, Becca ran into Jason, a boy who hit her son with a car. Driven by a strange but powerful emotion, she drives after Jason. After that, he waited for him at the platform where the boy took the bus every day.
She went to the library to borrow the book Jason just returned. After being spotted once, she invites Jason to sit on a park bench for a quiet chat, which is strange, but she really enjoys it.
As Becca imagined, Jason has deep self-blame and guilt for what happened to his son. The first thing Jason said when he saw her was "I'm sorry". Becca was moved by his sincerity and helplessness.
She also felt sad, but she didn't want this to make Jason live in sinful repentance. She patiently listened to what Jason had to say, and reassured him with understanding eyes and movements.
After the embarrassment and guilt subsided, Jason showed Becca a comic book he had created. In the book, he drew a little boy who lost his father. In order to find his father, the little boy went down the rabbit hole, but saw a completely strange father in another version of the world.
This story is touching, and it deeply comforts Becca, who has lost her beloved son. She firmly believes that the sad version of her who is sitting on the bench with Jason is just a sad version of her, and there will be a happy version of her in another corner of the world, with her son.
To forget the pain is to betray your son.
Unlike Becca's rational restraint, Hoy's feelings for his son are more exposed and dependent. The unfortunate death of his son was a real pain and blow to him.
To go through this period smoothly, it is very necessary to participate in group mutual assistance, or to chat with a counselor.
In the team support meeting, he listened carefully to the sad speeches of other parents, and felt their emotions. He felt that these people were worthy of respect and should not be interrupted or mocked.
Hoy knew they were going to let it pass, but he didn't want to "delete" traces of his son's life, as if doing so would be betrayal and ruthless. Everything he wanted for his son was in its place, including the dog.
On the other hand, he also wanted to find a way to return to his normal life before. He feels that life will be as bad as it is now because they have no children. If they have another one, they may be able to save the current unsatisfactory situation, which is good for both parties.
He still has the habit of going to team support clubs, albeit alone. There, he gets closer and closer to a woman named Gaby. Gaby and her husband Kevin have been in group support for eight years.
In the end, Kevin disappeared suddenly, and Gaby began to treat the mutual aid association casually. She would still arrive on time, but after arriving, she stayed in the car smoking marijuana, smiled at the speaker, and pulled out halfway through stealing Sneak out and play.
Hoy did all this with Gaby. He hadn't been so recklessly relaxed in a long time, and he liked being like Gaby, leaving all his troubles behind. However, when he knew that Kevin could not bear the sad days, and could not bear the actions of two people who couldn't resist destroying each other, he said goodbye to Gaby, and
he seemed to see him and Becca in it. He is very afraid of people's future, he loves Becca very much, and doesn't want to lose each other in the end. But now their relationship did show signs of developing in that direction, and he could only watch it intensify.
For Jason, Hoy still held a great resentment, he couldn't let it go, and he didn't want to forgive the boy. There is also the dog that his son once loved. He took it back and raised it, but he also yelled at it impatiently when it was running fast on the rope.
He wants to find someone or something who can take responsibility for his son's death, and express his loyalty and love to his son with hatred, but hating someone for a long time is itself a burden of pain. punish yourself.
Once so good, now all wrong
Because of the disagreements mentioned above, Hoy and Becca have more than once had a heated argument.
Hoy couldn't understand Becca, why she was so calm, she had different new things to do every day, and she could chat with the person who bumped into her son. The son's departure had no impact on her life in the slightest.
Becca couldn't understand Hoy either. Why was he so emotional? Even though his son was gone, he still wanted to pretend that he was still there. live by yourself.
The experience of a couple losing a child can profoundly affect their relationship and their marriage. If both parties in the marriage are not aware of it and make adjustments in time, it may only be separation.
The movie "Manchester by the Sea" talks about a couple who lost the lives of their three young children because of an oversight made by their husband. After this incident, the couple divorced, and there was no reason for their relationship, just no child.
Often surrounded by yourself, the child you poured countless care and love into, suddenly left you forever, this is a huge and difficult blow to all parents. And under the blow of severe pain, it often makes your whole person change.
If Becca and Hoy's children are still there, Hoy should feel that Becca is a mature and capable wife, who can take care of the family affairs and has her own set of methods for educating children.
As for Becca, she also thinks that Hoy is a good father who loves children and takes care of the family. He is emotionally delicate and often expresses his love to her. He is also very close to the children, and the two get along like friends.
But these original advantages were all different after their children left. Becca's rationality has matured, and at this time, Hoy has become ruthless in his eyes. Hoy's gentleness and delicacy became weak and depressed in the eyes of Becca at this time.
At the same time, because of their different ways of coping and expressing their grief, there have been many conflicts and quarrels. You blame me for being so sad and cruel for trying to erase children, and I blame you for pushing our lives into misery.
Frost, the famous American poet, made this clear in one of his poems called "Family Mourning," set in the railings of a small farmhouse, where a farmer and his wife who lost their children interact with each other. Conversation composition. The poem begins as follows:
He sees her from down the stairs,
before he sees her. She wanted to go downstairs,
turned around and stared, in shock.
The farmer came in and asked, "What do you see? From above?—I want to know." The
wife refused to answer, but she was sure he absolutely couldn't see what she saw. So she asked her husband to go up the stairs. He went to the stair window and found what she had been looking at. It was the graveyard of their children.
We never noticed these.
But I understand: not the stones,
but the child's mound—
"No, no, no, no," she cried.
The peasant woman went down the stairs, glared at him, and walked to the front door. Bewildered, he asked, "Can't you even mention the death of your own child?"
"You can't!" she said, "and no one can." The
farmer, wanting to blend in with her grief, said the following:
But I think you're going a little too far.
Why on earth do you feel so sad about
losing your first child . You thought his memory would be enough— his wife ignored him, let him bemoan, and later replied that he couldn't speak, had no heart. She saw from the window that he was digging his son's grave with ease. After digging, she remembered: You were sitting there with dust on your shoes, and the soil of the baby's new grave talked about daily chores. You put the shovel against the wall and put it in the doorway because I saw it. The wife has repeatedly stressed that she will never face her grief in this way, nor will she easily forget her grief.
The husband reassured him that he knew she would feel better after venting, and he suggested that it was time to forget about the sad moment: "Your heart has gotten rid of it, why did you embrace it again?"
Faced with pain, everyone There are different ways and different durations. I hope that when you finish your mourning and I finish mine, we can go back to the house full of our love, pocket the pain you and I have, hold each other's hands and walk together.
Welcome to pay attention to my big fish number: 17th movie
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