I don’t know if this is a common phenomenon, that is, when the husband and wife divorce, the father will speak ill of the mother in front of the child, and the mother will speak ill of the father in front of the child. I know that the child must have quarreled long before the divorce. I've heard enough of the nasty words of both parents towards each other, but I always feel that maybe this devaluation of each other after divorce will still cause psychological harm to the child, even more than before. But I really can't say whether this is the case, because I really don't understand and have no position.
But I actually have some feelings about a similar situation. My uncle had a criminal record. When I was young, I didn't know what the concept of imprisonment meant. But I once visited prison with my parents. It was also that time. I suddenly felt that if a person was forced into this way If he is locked in a cage and can't stay with his parents, then he must be someone who has made a big mistake and will be punished severely. Maybe because of this idea, when my uncle is released from prison, I will talk to him about it. He is no longer as close as he used to be, or he is obviously alienated, after all, children are happy and angry. My mother obviously noticed the change in me, and the reason for this was obviously realized quickly. One day when my mother was helping me take a bath, she talked about this matter. She taught me that no matter what, my uncle will always be me. My uncle, as a relative, I should not do this to my uncle, it is wrong for me to do this. Then there is no such thing. Maybe it's the relationship between children. As long as the adults usually make trouble with you, the relationship can become closer. The relationship between me and my uncle is the same, and it got better later, but always Not as close as it was a long time ago.
Although the uncle is still the uncle, the "bad" uncle did not become the "good" uncle. After that, the uncle still did a lot of things that scared the family and made us feel ashamed. I don't know when it started. , my parents would occasionally start talking about my uncle at home, using some bad words, and also, I don't know when it started, my parents would add a sentence after those bad words, "You said, isn't that the case? ?", this sentence is sometimes said to me, sometimes to my brother, often at this time, I don't know how to answer, on the one hand, our parents taught us that "uncle is always your uncle", we can't Alienation for whatever reason, and on the other hand, they want us to echo the words that belittle our uncle. Although what they complained about was the truth, even I didn't really know the reason. Maybe it was because my uncle was an elder? Anyway, I just can't say the words that are bad for him, even to my parents. This kind of situation, it can't be said that it hurts me psychologically, but it is still a little uncomfortable.
I don’t know if this example can be compared with the example of parents, but I still hope that if parents get divorced, I hope that both parties will stop talking bad about each other in front of their children, and don’t show an attitude of wanting their children to agree. I just hope that everyone's love is not so selfish.
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