Gypsy is a wandering soul. From this point of view, I really empathize with the heroine. I also have the control freak part. I don't know how to lie for the purpose of achieving the goal, probably because I don't have enough IQ and EQ, at least I can't lie at her level. But lying is such a thing, if you really get into the play, it is easy to move and convince yourself if you are sincere.
I know in my heart that I can't be stable, but a certain part yearns for stability and can't completely surrender myself, but I like to surrender this action, whether it is for someone or some kind of life. So I also imagined that if one day I followed the mainstream and got married, would I have a private place to live? The minimum is the lowest, and let me occupy a room that only I can enter. It would be best if it was an attic. Yes, I've fantasized about it countless times. When I’m sleepless, when I’m thinking about my own writing in the middle of the night, when I’m writing on the Internet with an identity that the people around me don’t know, even when I’m sitting there drinking alone, I need a secret room. Of course, I will not plan any conspiracy to control, because the desire to control is far less strong than that of the heroine.
About control and a strong urge to fix. I thought that if I were a therapist, I might not be able to control myself getting too involved in a patient's life. You're going to want to find out if he's telling the truth, I can't just care what he's saying, listen, and make him feel good, I'm going to really change that. So it will cross the line. Maybe he really cares about this person, maybe he really cares about this matter, maybe he has obsessive-compulsive disorder and wants to know all aspects of things. When my friends talk to me on weekdays, one of my heads is listening, and the other is thinking, what is the truth? So when the heroine said in episode 7 that the truth doesn't exist, my heart sank. Think if this understanding might be right. The only thing you can control is the moment you experience right now, and only this moment is real, and the truth you are striving for is actually everyone's own subjective world. And this fix process is actually control. You can't stand life that doesn't follow your script.
The heroine is very similar to the girl, and their men are also very similar. For their infatuation, they have to make up their own stories to increase the places that they need to control, making themselves very dramatic. The two men also needed themselves to live on the edge, to enjoy that thrill. The mother-daughter relationship is also interspersed very well. Basically, the control in family love is covered. In fact, why are they both out of control? Why is the daughter out of control? Everyone wants the other to live as they imagined. It's just that some people take action to satisfy their desire for control, and some people deceive themselves and pretend they don't know. But that kind of pretence is the source of the guilt it brings to the other party. But I rarely see guilt in the heroine. She thinks about most things clearly and knows what she wants, so she doesn't have to struggle, and she does things neatly and beautifully.
Watching her find that bracelet and tell the girl who set fire to her that she never took it off, I understand her true love is control, the desire for that kind of power. As for dangerous games, it's just adding firepower to the controls.
In fact, the heroine also reminds me of Jenny in TLW. I remember once she directed and acted a play in order to get revenge on the reporter, just to prove her point. I remember when everyone called her manipulative bitch. (Actually, I have done this myself, and I will feel sick and distorted afterwards, but when the energy comes up, I can't do it.) And her superficial strength and freedom can't hide the fact that she has no sense of security inside (also Deep experience it), is a morbid, self-defeating color.
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