He wanted to escape the numbness of life and pursue sensual richness and pleasure. Only in this way can he truly feel the fact of being alive. For the reality, for the country, he doesn't believe that he can change a single bit of it. No matter how the world tells him that he is the one with potential, he has given up trying. Life is practice, numbing yourself with alcohol, reminding yourself that you are still alive by doing ridiculous things, to gain attention, and to experience the feeling of being needed.
This is a person who lives in our hearts, but our cover still holds us well.
However, when we are finally willing to leave something to the world, we are afraid that nothing will be left.
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