Taking such a title is a question that suddenly came to mind when I saw the episode when the incident happened:
What would you do if you knew the secret of a friend in a country where the love between an underage teacher and a student is a serious crime? How to do it?
One is that it is reported. Even if you are good friends, when it comes to such a thing, the basic principles of civil society make you understand that the law is above all else, and morality cannot be overstepped. So, even when friendships are strong, there are some things that cannot be said, as Sheba (Cate Blanchett) tells Barbara (Judi Dench) when she first talks about it: telling you is unwilling to put you in a dilemma.
The second one is to keep secrets. Then maybe one day in the future, you will become an accomplice in this crime. You will be subject to frantic follow-up interviews by the media, and your work unit wants you to take the blame and resign due to the damage to the reputation of hiring citizens who "harvest and cover up."
Of course, the drama of this story is that the contradictions involved are far more complex. Therefore, the protagonist's difficult choice is not "what to do when a friend encounters such a thing." The following will discuss one by one the dramatic conflicts I see in the film.
(1) First, whether there is a real friendship between the two heroines is unclear.
I believe that the first time the protagonists talked about this secret outside the bar, when Sheba said "I don't want to put you in a dilemma," Barbara was indeed her friend in her heart-one who heard her tell the past, family, life, and ideal friends.
This friendship started with a fight in school. The two boys had a conflict because of the heroine, Shiba. In the case of colleagues who were reluctant to intervene (in fact, the colleague who discovered this was the one who wanted to pursue Xiba in the later episode.) Barbara came forward not only to relieve the siege but also to Shiba, who was having an affair with one of the boys at the time.I think, in Shiba's view, the old-fashioned Barbara is more than just a way to deal with children, and will be more comprehensible to the helpless older seniors in life. So she told her parents about her past life, marriage union, ten years of family dedication, and desire for work and career to this person who was willing to "mess with business," willing to make new friends, accept family visit invitations, and make special calls.A whole lot of visiting friends (as it is often said that appearance is a respect for others), especially at a friend's house, to experience her living environment first-hand and to Shiba's elegant appearance to maintain a family (a decent wife, a dutiful mother). What kind of bitterness is there, no matter who can't help but want to understand and listen, let alone Barbara, who has a premeditated action plan? So, in that case, the story of the hut's talk happened naturally.
So far, Shiba has done everything that is most common within the confines of a normal friendship. However, we also know, from the monologue of Barbara's diary at the beginning of the film, that this relationship for Barbara could not end in a normal friendship-the kind of relationship we build and maintain together-because her subjectivity and purpose are strong. This happened later, especially when Barbara's cat was told by the veterinarian that she could only live for a few weeks. She went to Shiba's house sadly, and after being comforted, she unconsciously showed that she wanted to ask for more (physical contact), which is At that moment, Sheba began to show discomfort with the transgression of the relationship (the details of the actor's performance were excellent, and Sheba folded her hands on her chest, indicating a sense of distance). You talk to me about your family, and I will appease your lost love, but this should be within a moderate range; when Barbara is sad, she can't help asking for more from the other party without caring about the other party's reaction. Further geographic loss later revealed hidden dangers. So let's dive into friendship and intimacy.
It had been more than ten years since the film's release when PS swiped it on station b.Many people in the swept barrage said why such a beautiful "queen" (Cate fans' nickname for her) chose the old woman (this The metaphor is vicious, but does it mean that Dame Dench's role is to be a friend? Here I don’t want to say too much (the reality varies from person to person). Just mention "The Beautiful Legend of Sicily". The beautiful appearance can let us see the complexity of human nature, and it will not bring real life to its owner. Caring or friendship, more likely a hormonal crush (on a whim). Shiba actually has a fat female friend at school, but due to her lack of experience, the troubles brought by Shiba's family life and her bright appearance may be incomprehensible to friends of the same age (especially those who are not as good as her), she is not something she can talk to the object, which is why she only invited Barbara to the house (of course, Barbara's approach to her was also one of the driving factors).
(2) Further, what is the source of the establishment (or want to establish) of intimacy, or what is desired in so-called "love"?
One is because of the desire to communicate, understand, and resonate.
Perhaps this is the root of spiritual love, known as "Platonic love." Sheba has noticed Barbara since she arrived at the school, and has been examining her with a critical and critical eye until the two protagonists really start to have a head-to-head encounter; her unique, elegant, outstanding temperament; what is it? Does she show that she is good, out of step with the mediocrity around her, or is she just a vase with no inner beauty beneath the beautiful exterior? (Is she a sphinx or simply stupid?) In fact, in addition to the knowledge and wording in Barbara's diary, in a conversation in the office, we can also accidentally discover Barbara's accumulation of profound knowledge and experience, which makes her believe that education in school is hopeless and that the prospects of most students are bleak, as they search for an inner rival with the same critical, critical eye. Up to this point, it is actually the category that friendship can satisfy.
However, Barbara's orientation and long life alone, in the presence of such a chic and beautiful woman, prompts her to [instinctively] want more than friendship can satisfy. Although I think all of this can be controlled within the scope of friendship, the very possessive heroine (her past experience with her ex-girlfriend shows this) is completely unable to do it, which is to accompany her cat and finally leave Later, when she faced Shiba, who was full of apologies and had a hard time choosing to protect her family, she finally lost her mind and told the secret why she was really sorry when she saw this part. There will be no hatred and revenge. Shiba has done her best as a friend to appease her.
Instinct transcends her rationality, just as Freud's id is stronger than superego. She may have never restrained such an intimate relationship from the very beginning of her life, just as we often say that childhood sweethearts develop into Like a lover, the "confident blue face" finally went to bed, instinctively making people who are emotionally close want to further use their bodies to share and express their love. In particular, for such a long, solitary, serious, and critical heroine as Barbara, love is chronically lacking.
The second is because of finding self-satisfaction and pleasure.
In the film, when Shiba confessed to Barbara, she said that she refused at first, knowing that such a relationship was immoral; however, the pursuit of young boys made her reconsider. "In addition to the boring family and complicated household chores, I suddenly felt that I was also attractive." Although Barbara saw a lot of people in the school courting her, the fact that she was married made people stick to the boundaries of politeness, and even when the group started to fight, no man took the initiative. To intervene-it is this little boy who expresses his love with constant flirting and actions (fighting for her), and is very real about falling into a "mid-life crisis" (although she is not yet middle-aged, the situation is real). For Shiba, who is actually the case), she was tricked by the behavior of adolescent boys, and when the boy lied about the difficulties at home, "you need my support" was even more fettered. This is actually particularly distressing for Shiba, because the family's inconsideration of her caused all this. Her ideals (full of optimism about school education), her creative handicrafts show that she will not be a mediocre "vase", but her hut is also idle all year round and reduced to a "sanctuary" (a small space). It can be said that when she was doing her best to satisfy the family, the family deprived her of her self-realization and even took care of her mentally handicapped son at home for ten years before she had her own space—getting an A job, a career in society. Therefore, for the heroine Shiba, the further demand, or the next turning point, will be to re-understand herself. The most intuitive one is that her beauty is rediscovered, complimented, and contested.
So here we have to mention sex alone, which is always an important topic in Western literature. What do people really want out of a sexual relationship? There are thousands of answers in thousands of stories, all trying to describe and complement the nature of this relationship. From the perspective of humanistic psychology, the ultimate role of sex can also enable people to discover themselves, realize themselves, and become a more complete individual. In layman's terms, just like the disharmony of sexual intercourse affects men's self-confidence, based on The admiration attracted by appearance is always the impulse and pursuit of adolescents, including for the boys in the film. The pursuit of attractive female teachers is the purpose of this relationship; on the other hand, for Shiba, it is about self-worth. Affirmative, but incomplete, just for consolation—even if her troubles are never told to her sexual partner, the satisfaction of the flesh brings about the dependence of the nature of escape; at the same time, it also leads to the maintenance of her relationship with the boy. After a period of time, he quickly and unreservedly poured out his troubles to Barbara, a new friend. Sheba received physical comfort, sexual pleasure, affirmation of her own charm, and enjoyment of the "reward of youth", all of which were struggling to make up for the confinement of her life. Bitterness (a passage from a boy visiting at a house party). Therefore, Shiba is also lacking in love—a love relationship that allows her to be satisfied, happy, to be herself, to achieve her goals and ideals, and at present, she can only cheat through extramarital affairs, or even be indecent with teachers and students for comfort.
Therefore, looking back, the lack of love between the two people jointly promoted the rapid development of the plot, collision, and climax and finally settled in a different destination at the end: Shiba returned to the family, and through the joint efforts of the family, she was able to find what she needed. Barbara goes on to find her next target. Let’s make a bold assumption here. If she can be a little more kind and tolerant when she comments on Shiba, maybe she will be able to have more reason and reflection to find an intimate partner that really suits her rather than a deformity under strong possessiveness. unrequited love.
ps Regarding sex and love, I remembered the popular opinion now-a relationship needs intimacy, sex, and commitment to form a solid iron triangle, and a sexual partner who lacks emotional intimacy can always only be a relationship with friends, and it is also "love." is incomplete. In the words of a novel I recently read:
"To fall in love Or even to have the desire to make love. I think sex flows more sluggishly in all of us than we care to believe, especially men. The first adventures are usually nothing but a satisfying of curiosity, and after that, one keeps repeating the same actions, trying to find---what?
Is there a word? "A friend, a companion, or maybe just a sharer."
(3) Finally, I'd like to say a few words aboutPopular film critics say that the film adaptation is indeed a victory for patriarchal society to some extent.
If the director is a man, and the world is also a man's, so men, change it to let Shiba return to the family. If she is unrepentant in real life, then redeem her in the movie. How proud and moral! A tolerant husband plays the role of God again and finally accepts a reformed woman. The apostate longs to return and finally embarks on the journey. This is a victory for men and a victory for morality. "Although the outcome in reality has achieved positive results, it has been a long 8 years. I think what is indispensable is the boy's growth, adulthood, more understanding, and fulfilling the conditions for taking responsibility and fulfilling the obligations of the husband. The end of the family.
In fact, I appreciate the stories told in the film because, in addition to the "complexity and ugliness of human nature", Barbara's strong "possession" label is actually not uncommon in life, but the degree is more or less. Or at least, different backgrounds have different influences, but they have really aroused a lot of resonance and reflection, which is one of the signs of successful literary works. The shaping of the characters in the film brings more contradictions and conflicts to the story besides "infidelity", and the phenomena and problems seen are also richer, and the complex reflection of human nature is more profound. Of course, if I have time to read the original book, I will make more comments on these.
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