In the Chinese-style education I have come into contact with, many parents always impose their own ideas on their children, whether they like it or not, they must follow it. Use soft words to coerce, or stop it by directly severing the relationship. For such Chinese-style education, I call it totalitarianism, which means that in a family, parents monopolize children's lives, and children have no right to make decisions about their own lives. In "Face", it tells about another Chinese-style education: Wil, a single-parent Chinese girl who grew up in the United States, was forced by her mother to have blind dates all day long, but she didn't want her mother Gao Huilan to be pregnant with an unknown child because she felt corrupt Family style, Wil's grandparents kicked his mother out of the house, so the mother stayed at the daughter's house, and the daughter kept the secret that she was a lesbian. , brave and decisive. In this film, it is not so much a story about the Chinese who live for their face, as it is about two "daughters" who change the nature of the family. In Chinese-style families, many parents still do not give up their parental control even after their children get married. Of course, this is related to whether the children have the ability and courage to live independently. Like the mother in the movie, she has been married for many years (although she is a single parent), but still lives with her parents. In many things, she has inherited the weakness and obedience of Chinese-style children, which can be seen from the comments of outsiders: she Dad looked very tight.
And when the mother was pregnant with an unknown child, her father started to attack, and this is not only because of the face problem that people see, but more because the child who suddenly found himself in control was out of control. Live independently from the beginning, and have the right to find happiness again from the moment her husband dies, instead of being dealt with in this situation when this happens. In fact, from this aspect, we can see that many Chinese-style families also have such a problem. When they were young, they were asked to do that by their parents. Whether it was right or wrong, the parents had the final say. When making decisions independently, but because of habitual dependence on parents, resulting in a lack of independence and loss of control over his own life, the mother in the film is such a "child". Of course, this is also the saddest place for them, because they were kept in captivity by their parents and were educated by their parents in a good way, so they couldn't go out to see the real world, just like a mother who seems to be living in a Chinese circle in Chinatown all her life.
Parents in a family are the most important role models for children, not because they give their children a rich living environment, but because they know how to empathize in education and understand their children better. On the other hand, as children, in fact, sometimes they are also teachers of their parents. When the daughter was about to give her mother a blind date, the mother suddenly lost her confidence, not only because of her age, but also because of the child in her womb, but the daughter did not give up, but praised her mother and encouraged her to go out. On the contrary, in Grandpa's eyes, the mother no longer has the right to choose. As the mother's parent, he did not consider the pain and loneliness of his child's loss of her husband and being alone for many years. Instead, he blamed it and even wanted to make do with his mother as soon as possible. , so as not to damage his face. The difference between the two generations lies in this, one is to strive for their own happiness, the other is to succumb to life for the sake of others. In my opinion, this is actually two kinds of family education, one is concerned about others, and the other is more concerned about oneself. This is also what I understand in the film: love should not be about control, but about understanding and tolerance. Compared with the role of mother, she is actually hovering between these two kinds of education. From knowing her daughter's orientation very early but not mentioning it, to seeing the clue again, the mother never said any strict words, and she can see it without hurting her daughter as a past person. From many real stories, if you know your children Being gay, a big fight is totally unavoidable, even in this day and age where people can't accept things that are beyond their comprehension, not that they are too advanced, but beyond their control. However, it is fortunate that when we are unable to make decisions and are ready to be imprisoned by the shackles of fate, there is always a god of luck around us. That person may be your friend or just a stranger, but I prefer to be yourself. When the daughter learned that her mother had no choice but to marry someone else for her grandfather's face, the daughter did not want her mother to suffer, stopped the wedding, and asked her to marry the person she loved, the child's real father stood up. At this time, the mother who broke the shackles rushed out of the wedding banquet with her daughter and asked her daughter to find her lover.
Here, what we see is no longer a daughter who once succumbed to the wishes of her parents and lived cautiously, but a woman who finally dared to take the initiative to stand up and find her own life. At the beginning of the article, I said that this film is another kind of Chinese-style education. It not only contains the totalitarianism unique to Chinese-style parents, but it also shows us that in family education, the more important thing between children and parents is mutual understanding and harmony. Tolerance is the only way to make a family more harmonious and happy.
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