There is a saying among the people, you are not a hero if you don't go to the Great Wall.
I do think that it is the real warrior who can face the bloody and pale "The Great Wall".
Because "everything with a sweet spot is a bad movie".
This audience started from "Warring States" and "Special Identity", and then extended to "New Mom Loves Me Again", "Police Story 2013", an "ominous" sixth sense of watching movies, after "The Great Wall" It has basically become the industry truth.
But that's not a big deal for China's biggest fangirl.
She will appear in "Kong: Skull Island" and "Pacific Rim: Uprising" in the next two years.
All this is the eighth wonder of the world besides the Great Wall of China for Jing Tian, who is not good-looking but has zero acting skills.
Zhang Yimou is not a fool. In the face of miracles, being able to film "The Great Wall" well is the real miracle; it might have been possible 20 years ago, but the national teacher is old, and the old seems to have only the instinct to make money.
So he felt that "The Great Wall" should be made into a wonderful work.
Don't tell me, he really did.
The birth of this wonderful flower was set in the Song Dynasty.
Although the emperors of the past dynasties, especially the Zhao Dynasty with Huangpao, were afraid of supporting troops to stand on their own. But in the movie, the entire Song Dynasty seems to be concentrated on the Great Wall. The reason for this is to fight monsters.
These monsters belong to the once-in-sixty-year-old class. Because it is said in the movie that they will come out to harm the world every six years. Unfortunately, before he finished speaking, a messenger ran over and said, "They are coming early...".
Visit regularly, occasionally early. What kind of monster is this, this is the big aunt.
Before introducing the monster, there is a small episode. It is said that two foreign friends came to the 5A scenic spot of the Great Wall a few days ago. One was the "Red Viper" in "Game of Thrones". His first reaction when he saw the Great Wall was:
"Wow! Isn't this the Great Wall of Despair guarded by our big brother Garda Snow?"
Another Matt Damon just returned from Mars and quickly nodded in praise, "Yeah, the only human building I can see on Mars is The Great Wall!"
Then the two sycophants were captured by our army.
But I am a big country and a country of etiquette. The so-called "captive" is actually a visit. There is no need for the two of them to walk, and the human elevator takes the Great Wall from beginning to end, from the inside to the outside, and sees it clearly and clearly.
Although the audience, like them, did not understand why the native Jing Tian and Andy Lau were fluent in English, it was inconvenient to communicate through translation, so they expressed their willingness to learn Chinese.
So the hall commander Zhang Hanyu led the two to the wall, pointing to a large area of moving ugly monsters in Wuyangyang in the distance, come, and recite with me -
Teo gluttonous, Te Yetie, gluttonous!
Matt Damon raised his middle finger and said why the introduction to Chinese didn't start with A, B, C, Ding? (I would like to thank the "Great Wall" crew for their efforts in popularizing Chinese culture. I think how many people recognized many fathers in the
NetEase comment area because of the word "gluttonous".
The creatures that drink rely on absorbing the spiritual energy of the heaven, earth, sun and moon, and basically belong to the berserk family, who block the killing Buddha and block the killing Buddha.
But gluttonous is not without weaknesses. To be precise, they have two weak points, both in their armpits. The "eye under the armpit" is called in the play, which is probably the routine of Achilles' heel. But the eyes grow under the armpits, which is fine in winter. If it comes to summer, I think it's really hot eyes.
Of course, my Song Dynasty army was not idle either. One of the most important things they did on the Great Wall was clothing design.
The colorful "Shadowless Army" correspond to five animals - crane, eagle, tiger, bear and deer.
When I looked at The Great Wall, which was in the same line as the color system of "Heroes" and remained motionless, there were crowds of people and distinct color blocks, and I knew that Zhang Yimou still had not recovered from the 2008 Olympic Games.
Not to mention other troops that are not under the command of Jing Tian, their role is basically a foil for cannon fodder.
As for Jing Tian's Crane Army, they were mainly responsible for two performances:
part of the high platform bungee jumping; part of it became a popping drummer. All in all, they're all artists.
I skipped the part about musical instruments. When it comes to bungee jumping troops, when faced with a gluttonous siege, the Women's Army generally pursued a strategy of "you come and bite me, you idiot~", which was essentially the same strategy as sending death.
Although there is only a hoop on his waist, but Nai He Jingtian also has a protagonist halo above his head.
Thousands of flowers have passed through, and the leaves do not stick to the body. Even Taotie knows that you are a female classmate with a story.
Later, the gluttons learned to be smart, they changed the strategy of sieging the city silly during the day, and turned into a "night snack" for sneak attacks at night.
As a result, the commander-in-chief died.
For Zhang Hanyu, this was a real relief. (Zhang Hanyu's inner play: Lao Tzu can finally finish)
But for the movie, it exacerbated the collapse of "The Great Wall".
The hall commander gave up the position of the supreme commander of the Great Wall Army to Jing Tian, the leader of the He Army, leaving behind the four armies with a confused look. Everyone's face was: Give a reason anyway. ? Do you two have a leg?
Just when Matt Damon and Jing Tian were busy looking at each other, the Great Wall's natural security was breached by the beasts from the ground. A long tunnel leads directly to Bianliang. The strange thing is that, as a viewer, I am not nervous about the fate of human beings at all. Instead, I think that if gluttonous food can be domesticated, my country's subway should be open to traffic as early as the Northern Song Dynasty.
But obviously the diameter of the brain hole of "The Great Wall" is bigger than that of Taotie.
In addition to the Kongming lantern's extra-large zeppelin flying directly to the sky to fight monsters, there are two black technologies in the movie:
one is a magnet.
Gluttonous, these pipeline products are shipped directly from the factory without the signal interference test. In the case of magnets, GPS positioning and motion co-processors fail directly.
The other is black powder.
Do you know the four great inventions? The reason why foreigners like Matt Damon came to China is to steal Chinese civilization.
Some people say that there are more slots in the movie than the gluttons in the movie; others say that when the gluttonous "The Great Wall" comes out, it reminds people of a city besieged by orcs.
Actually think about it...
The last thing Jing Tian and Matt Damon did in "The Great Wall" - destroying the Matrix, Keanu Reeves did it more than ten years ago when he fought against the mechanical squid in "The Matrix" .
As long as your movie viewing experience is rich enough, you can always find the shadow of memories in "The Great Wall".
For example, "The Lord of the Rings", "Alien" and "Jurassic Park"... Behind the simmering of Eastern and Western elements, the entire industry can't wait to cater to commercial capital.
Can't wait, the exchange is bound to be vulgar.
Zhang Yimou, once the movie seeks for art, and "The Great Wall" declares that he has completely slipped into the abyss of seeking for money.
A friend asked me, is this film bad?
I'm serious, I can't say garbage.
After all, trash can be turned into treasure.
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