The delusion of the joys of life that had formerly stifled my fear of the dragon no longer deceived me. No matter how many times I am told: you cannot understand the meaning of life, do not thinking about it but live, I cannot do so because I have already done it for too long. Now I cannot help seeing day and night chasing me and leading me to my death. This is all I can see because it is the only truth. All the rest is a lie.
― Leo Tolstoy , A Confession and Other Religious Writings
Translation found online:
An oriental fable was circulated a long time ago.
It is about a traveler who encounters a beast on the prairie. To avoid the beast, the traveler jumped into a dry well, but he saw a dragon lying at the bottom, opening its mouth to devour him. Therefore, this unfortunate man did not dare to climb out for fear of being bitten to death by a beast, and did not dare to jump down to the bottom of the well for fear of being swallowed by a dragon, so he had to grab the wild tree branch growing in the crack of the well wall and hang on it. His hands were almost exhausted, and he felt that he would soon be at the mercy of the gods of death who were waiting for him on either side, but he persisted, and he looked around and saw two mice, one black and one The white one was crawling and nibbling calmly on the branch he had caught. Seeing that this tree branch is about to break, he will fall into the dragon's mouth. The traveler saw this, and knew that he would die. But while he was still hanging from the branch, he looked around and saw a few drops of honey on the leaves, so he stuck out his tongue to lick the honey. I am also hanging on the branches of life, knowing that the dragon that is going to tear me must be waiting for me to die, and I do not understand why I am tortured like this. I too wanted to suck the honey that had pleased me, but the honey was no longer pleasing to me at those hours, and the white and black mice, day and night, were gnawing on the branches I held fast to. I see the dragon clearly, and honey is not sweet to me anymore. All I saw were dragons and mice that I couldn't avoid, and I couldn't take my eyes off them. This is not a fable, but a real, irrefutable truth that everyone can understand.
The former hallucinations of the pleasures of life, which had masked the fear of dragons, could not deceive me now. No matter how many times you say to me: You can't understand the meaning of life, stop thinking about it, just live, but I can't do it because I've done it for too long. Now I can't help but see that alternating day and night are leading me to death. I only see this because only this is true and everything else is a lie.
——Tolstoy's "Confessions"
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Also: Reminiscent of the biblical A passage:
Ecclesiastes 1:2-11
1 The words of the Preacher, the son of David, king in Jerusalem.
2 Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity.
3 What profit hath a man of all his labour which he taketh under the sun?
4 One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh: but the earth abideth for ever.
5 The sun also ariseth, and the sun goeth down, and hasteth to his place where he arose.
6 The wind goeth toward the south, and turneth about unto the north; it whirleth about continually, and the wind returneth again according to his circuits.
7 All the rivers run into the sea; yet the sea is not full; unto the place from whence the rivers come, thither they return again.
8 All things are full of labour; man cannot utter it: the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing.
9 The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.
10 Is there any thing whereof it may be said, See, this is new? it hath been already of old time, which was before us.
11 There is no remembrance of former things; neither shall there be any remembrance of things that are to come with those that shall come after.
12 I the Preacher was king over Israel in Jerusalem.
13 And I gave my heart to seek and search out by wisdom concerning all things that are done under heaven: this sore travail hath God given to the sons of man to be exercised therewith.
14 I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and, behold, all is vanity and vexation of spirit.
15 That which is crooked cannot be made straight: and that which is wanting cannot be numbered.
16 I communed with mine own heart, saying, Lo, I am come to great estate, and have gotten more wisdom than all they that have been before me in Jerusalem: yea, my heart had great experience of wisdom and knowledge.
17 And I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is vexation of spirit.
18 For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.
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