being yourself has always been a technical job that requires both courage and strength. Most people do not lack the leisurely feeling of looking up at the starry sky, but only a very few people can follow their inner calling to the end, overcoming obstacles and down-to-earth.
This is regardless of age or gender. After the physical body survives and the sensory stimuli are properly satisfied, mortals begin to pursue the development of the soul and the realization of the self. For men, this reasonable appeal is as common as oxygen to life, but it is indispensable. The vast number of women, who have long been regarded as the "second sex", have finally reached a consensus in the hearts of the world, under the joint efforts of years of economic development, civilization evolution and social progress, the diligent pursuit of equality between men and women.
However, it is easy for people to make a rational approval on the surface, but it is difficult for people to approve from the heart. Even though the high-quality female public accounts under the banner of "pay attention to yourself, affirm yourself, invest in yourself, and live out yourself" have already dominated the new media, all kinds of positive, warm and healing, and full of chicken blood, high-quality and good articles have already smashed friends. However, there is still a long way to go to completely and profoundly rewrite the underlying code of Chinese society. As far back as the beginning of the year, the SK-II commercial blockbuster "She Goes to the Blind Date Corner" aroused strong resonance among urban women. Nearly, female friends under the age of 25 began to be forced to marry, either explicitly or secretly.
When young and modern women with good education meet the interference and brainwashing of parents, relatives and even society who are still bound by traditional restrictive beliefs, what should we do? Should we be cocooned and resigned to fate, or should we break out of the siege and control our destiny?
Perhaps we, who are confused and struggling, can gain a little inspiration and a moment of advice from a glimpse of the twists and turns of American women's self-awareness awakening and traditional role-playing half a century ago.
Even in the American society where individualism is deeply rooted and individual consciousness is fully stretched, making women live like "human beings" depends on people of insight and the firm belief that "the Red Army is not afraid of difficult expeditions, long live thousands of mountains only wait for leisure", Let this reasonable appeal take root and grow in the hearts of the world day by day and year after year. The classic movie "Mona Lisa Smile" released in 2003 tells such a story.
Katherine Ann Watson, played by Julia Roberts, graduated from UCLA, a prestigious California school, and taught in Oakland for a year. She was lucky enough to be hired as a lecturer in art history by the Department of Fine Arts History of Wellesley College, a well-known women's university in the United States. She threw herself into Wellesley's arms with great enthusiasm. Everything looked so sublime and beautiful, just like the sacred dialogue between the headmistress and student representative Joan at the opening ceremony:
-”Who knocks at the Door of Learning?”
-”I am every women.”
-”What do you seek?"
-"To Awaken my spirit through hard work, and dedicate my life to knowledge."
-"Then you are welcome. All women who seek to follow you can enter here." The
ranks of the teachers silently witness this Katherine of the solemn ceremony was naturally excited and her eyes were wet. At that time, her inner OS must have been: "Ah, thank God, there is finally a pure and beautiful land, which allows me to show my talents, and let me devote myself to awakening more sleeping female souls through the enlightenment of knowledge."
However, "ideal Very plump, reality is very skinny", Katherine was quickly removed the veil of tenderness. First of all, the girls in the class gave her a slap in the face. They had already read the textbook thoroughly and memorized it like a fluent. They casually threw out the world famous painting slides in each chapter, and they were able to explain the name, author, era, style, technique and meaning. .
Katherine's first class at Wellesley was thus forcibly ended under the taunts and contempt of the king by a group of well-to-do, talented "goddess" students.
And then the warm and friendly old Youtiao colleagues implicitly or explicitly hinted that her "too independent personality will make them uncomfortable" and "the survival skill here is not to be noticed".
Roommates and senior teachers were expelled directly and mercilessly by the school board for distributing condoms to female students.
Katherine gradually realized that Wellesley just looks beautiful, in fact it is just a conservative and outdated "girls finishing school", can not bear the heavy name of "university".
And the most outstanding 20-year-old women in the United States gathered here, making themselves rich in knowledge and manners, and only one thing on their minds - marrying a good family.
As a result, the topic between girls is inseparable from love and marriage. The motivation for playing the wooden circle game is "the girl who wins will be the first to marry". The most advanced personal attack in the late-night dormitory chat is "no man will marry her" , the parting message before the winter vacation is "I wish you to wear a ring".
The deportment training class has quietly turned into a marriage drill class. The teacher confidently said to the girls, "In a few years, your only responsibility is to take care of your husband and children." "Maybe you are here just to get an A, but it's really important. Your score was given to you by him (husband), not me."
Even graceful and graceful mothers directly instill in their daughters-to-be the fallacy that "a good wife should make her husband feel that everything comes from his mind, even when it isn't."
Katherine suddenly found that she was facing good seedlings that either hadn't sprouted or were about to grow crooked.
The development of a person's self does not stop abruptly at a certain stage, but only until death. And the famous psychologist Erickson believes that self-identity (personal identity) is a process of lifelong development, of which 18-25 years old is a key stage of development.
Self-identity is defined by the aspects of "explore" and "commitment": exploration refers to the process by which an individual strives to find goals, values, and ideals that suit him. personal investment and self-sacrifice in terms of energy, perseverance, and time to make your goals, values, and ideals. Only through these two paths can a person find out who he is, who he wants to be, and what he can do in his life, no matter how time passes or the environment changes.
Among them, autonomy plays a key role in the process of identity achievement. Only when a person respects his own emotions, has clear goals in life, has strong self-power, and has control over things, can he become a person with a strong sense of responsibility, who believes that he can make his own choices, be responsible for the results, and always overcome difficulties.
It can be seen that there are very few people who can discover their different self, and dedicate their whole life to walk out of a unique life path and build a spiritual kingdom that dominates one side.
And Katherine's ideal is to make her students become such people.
The word "choice" is a key word throughout the film and appears many times in important lines or dialogues.
Through Van Gogh's life stories and works of art, Katherine subtly emphasized the importance of autonomy: "Van Gogh refused to change his ideals for the sake of public taste, and refused to compromise in order to maintain the integrity of his personality. So the choice is in your hands, Ladies. You can do what others expect, or you can—" "Be yourself."
The students who interrupted her were Betty, who was tit for tat, the best of the bunch: young and beautiful, good grades, early Married to a well-matched young talent, he claimed that "the married Wellesley College girl is able to balance her studies and married life with ease", and even ripped her face to face Katherine in the school newspaper editorial.
But behind the seemingly happy and happy, there is the essence of detachment and loneliness. After her husband did not accompany her to attend important occasions because of his business trip to New York again, she ran back to her parents' home late at night but was persuaded by her mother: "This is your own choice, ours' choice." The cold water poured down and started to wake up.
In the end, she, who seemed to be the most hopeless, resolutely divorced her husband who didn't love her or even cheated on her, despite her mother's objection, set up her own business, and bravely pursued her new life.
At the same time, Joan, a female student who had high hopes by Katherine, resolutely gave up her studies for a master’s degree in law after being admitted to Yale University in advance. She lived and flew with her Harvard boyfriend who was continuing her studies. They married early, started a family, and accompanied him to complete his studies in Graduate studies at the University of Pennsylvania.
Katherine was very disappointed when she heard this, and she felt very disappointed that Joan had become another Betty. But Joan's heartfelt words also made her feel empowered: "It's my choice. I want a home, and it's something I can't sacrifice. I know what I'm doing, and I don't regret it. You let us see the slides, but You've never seen it yourself. To you, being a housewife is selling your soul; they're shallow, stupid, and uninteresting. You said I could do what I wanted, and that's what I wanted to do .”
Katherine finally understood that helping others to find themselves can not replace others’ choices and forcibly export values. In the end, everyone understands that the pursuit of excellence and taking on the social roles women are born to play are not in conflict. The focus is not on studying and working, or returning to family, or both. Instead, each of us must understand that we always have the right to make choices and have the responsibility to bear the consequences of our choices.
Towards the end of the film, all the girls who attended the graduation ceremony and were deeply inspired by Katherine rode their bicycles to see off Katherine, who was slowly leaving in a car, with laughter. How fortunate it is to meet a good teacher who encourages women to transcend tradition, pursue excellence, and realize themselves in the most precious years of life.
Together with them in front of the screen, I was inspired and baptized, which made me deeply feel that being myself is a great life worthy of doing my best and persevering to the end. Only in this way can we truly live. Instead of talking about the equality of men and women day and night, it is better to cultivate the confidence that you should have, accumulate the capital you should save, and live the life you should live. In this process, how can no one give you the appreciation and respect you want?
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