Not comments, just feelings and fantasies

Madonna 2022-03-25 09:01:14

[It's just a crazy and blurred dream]

You thought you would spend the day as usual, after a day's work serving coffee and washing dishes, you would ride this street that you've walked through countless times as usual, with your feet on your feet Slightly frayed low-heeled boots, past old trees with forked branches and no leaves, past houses made of indescribable stone, and then up, down, up, down along this long slope. There are many scenes in front of you, but you only see the dark night sky, which is endless.
A lot of feelings suddenly flooded into your heart, but you couldn't tell what they were. You turned a corner gently, the bicycle swayed like a leaf, and stopped in front of a bar all night.
Like a fish, you flood into the night. This is not exactly the same as what you have been to before. It should be like a dream, like the wonderful extinction of the moment when a short-lived flower blooms. But, at this point, you're standing there a little overwhelmed. Specifically, you are, alone.
You try waving your hands and feet to the music in the unfamiliar crowd. Try not to look like a stranger. Not like someone who just moved to the city. Not like someone who has been deceived by life.


You are more like the locals than you think, you dance and forget everything.
When you are tired of dancing, buy water, no, buy wine to drink, you will know it is late at night.
The bartender is a handsome guy. You pretend to be an old hand and strike up a conversation with him. Well, it seems that people don't appreciate it very much. But it's okay, you're already very happy. I mean, your heart.


A few thugs, who seemed to be drunk, were stopped at the door from entering. You smile lightly. As you pass them, one or two of the thugs seem to be trying to strike up a conversation with you on purpose, and you answer them with a light smile.
Next, it seems that it is really obvious to strike up a conversation, or to seduce. You know, but tonight you're already having a good time, and you're just riding and talking to them.
They are very interesting. At first glance, they are poor gangsters who are poorer than you, but they pretend that the luxury car on the road is theirs, the convenience store on the road is their own, and even pretend that you are theirs, their friend, or, girlfriend.
Poor people like yourself. You think, so when it's time to leave later, you follow them around like crazy, and you even pretend to jump off the building when you run to the top of the building.
You are drunk, you think.
So, when he was gentle with you, you almost fell in love with him.
And he is just him who has been around you and talking to you among the gangsters.


Then, what happened later.
You can't help kissing him when you're inexplicably involved in the hatred of gangsters and completing a robbery mission. Or maybe he couldn't help kissing you.

Then, after that, what happened.
The police chased, killed a few people, got a few people arrested, you and he took a baby to escape, you escaped to a hotel.
What really happened in the end.
You look at him, his blood is half the bed, you can't see this room, you can't see his face, there is only a blood-red swept world, like the end of the world.
He said, before he died, he said, you go, take this money, go to another country.


You woke up from the dream and wanted to open your eyes, but it seemed as if the tears in your eyes had stuck your upper and lower eyelids.
The moonlight outside the window is falling on your face. It's just a whole day has passed.
Your yesterday, the yesterday you thought would pass as usual, seems to be just a bizarre and frantic dream.
The moon on the sea seems to be much larger and rounder than usual, and you remember that you have just arrived in this city, but you have already fled.
You dare not open your eyes again, but you are afraid to close them.

You tell yourself that this is just a wild and blurred dream, that's all.

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Extended Reading

Victoria quotes

  • Victoria: I've been... I've been... I don't know the name, how you say that... I've been... in the conservatory, you know... I was in the conservatory. and I cannot continue in the conservatory because I'm not good enough, or something like that

    Sonne: Because they're stupid, or what?

    Victoria: No, it's okay. I prefer that.

    Sonne: No, really... Because it's amazing. It's like. You know, I...

    Victoria: No, it's not amazing... I don't know. I've been sixteen and a half years practicing playing the piano. every day, like seven hours every day. Seven is the maximum. You cannot play more, because you're gonna hurt your arms. And it's a really hard life, because you have no... you have no life. You have no friends. Well, the friends are like the other guys that are in the conservatory... but they are not your friends really. They're like your enemies. Because they are fighting for your dream too.

    Sonne: But was it your dream... to play?

    Victoria: Not any more.No. Because it's... You are... You... You can became a bad... I don't know. I was just thinking, for my friends, they should fail in their exams... because then I would have, like, more opportunities for me! Our teacher said to us that. just the 90% of us, we are wasting our time. It's really difficult to become a real piano player. And it's better like this. You know, when I was 12, I can remember, I was like an old lady... just playing always the fucking piano.

  • Sonne: What is this shit? What is this shit? Boxer, what is this shit, man?