The Super New Testament: A Divine Work of Love and Redemption

Sydney 2022-11-12 20:13:27

Text | Source of Yingu City
| WeChat Official Account: Yingu City,


you can move a small bench, smash melon seeds, drink a cup of tea, and listen to me tell this seemingly fantastic and absurd story, but it is actually warm and loving.
The story starts here:

[Genesis]

God, wearing slippers, half bald, with a cigarette in his mouth, looks like he is drinking and masturbating excessively, after relying on a broken computer to "Genesis", he is also keen on designing human beings. The general predicament, rude and irritable to the family and even whipping with the belt, is a tyrant.

God's wife, fat, sloppy, only has embroidery and baseball cards in her eyes, and she can't even express a complete opinion. She only does housework and watches sports programs, and her presence is almost zero.

The Son of God, Jesus, has left, wandered the world, has 12 believers, established a religion based on the "New Testament" to preach goodness to human beings, and turned into a long sculpture at home and a "Final" dinner".

God's daughter, Iya, after being imprisoned by God for ten years, (that is to say, Iya was ten years old), she broke into the office where her father manipulated human beings and found that all human sufferings originated from God's design, so she accused God of being a Scum, God was angry and beat her, Yiya wanted to escape, and the story began.

【Exodus】 If

Elijah wants to escape, he must first ask his wise brother, Jesus, so the statue Jesus and Elijah had a conversation:

Ejah: I want to find a few disciples to help me, just like you.

Jesus: Look for 6, and add my 12 to get 18, which is the number of members of Mom's favorite baseball team.

Ijah: How did you choose your disciples?

Jesus: Pretend to understand, no one will doubt it. After choosing six disciples, write a Super New Testament.

Yiya: But I don't want to be admired by everyone like you.

Jesus: Then you make the disciples the protagonists of the doctrine and let them tell their own stories.

Yiya: But I'm not very good at writing.

Jesus: Find a writer. You think I wrote the New Testament all by myself.

Jesus also told Yiya that the way to escape to the human world was to climb into the washing machine, set it to the chemical fiber gear, the water temperature was 40 degrees, 1200 rpm, and it was enough to keep climbing out.

Before fleeing, Yiya wanted to punish her tyrant father, so she stole the key of God, opened the door of the office, selected the files of six people, logged into her father's computer system, and sent an instruction to all mankind: date of death.

As a result, everyone's cell phone received their own death countdown.

As long as the countdown is zero, this person must die, and it is useless to hide; if the countdown is not over, even jumping off a building or a plane will not die.

The consequence of this was that the war stopped and people had the courage to pursue what they once wanted to do for the rest of their lives.

God was furious after knowing what happened to Ijagan, because: In

the past, he held the fate of all mankind, and no one knew the date of his death, so mankind did not dare to "do wrong." Now that human beings know it, they will not be led by his nose, and human beings will choose their own way of life.

God wanted Yiya to restart the computer to recover the "loss", and also got into the washing machine and started God's embarrassing journey on earth.

[Gospel of Aureli]

Yiya came to the world, was hungry, and ate hamburgers from the trash can. A homeless man appeared and cared about her, so she let this homeless man who couldn't write a lot of words be her penmanship People, visit six saints with her and record their lives for the Super New Testament.

The first saint, Aureli, half-blooded, beautiful, but still there, determined for the rest of her life that nothing would change. She refused to lift her ban to accept a man because one of her arms was gone.

At that time, she was still young and danced by the subway. As a result, the subway came so fast that her arm was "missing". When she was desperate, a homeless man rushed towards her and said,

"My dear little girl, life is like an ice skating rink, and wrestling is inevitable."

Yiya got close to her body, heard Handel's music, and sent Aureli a dream before she left. In the dream, she saw a beautiful hand on the table dancing to her heart's content, and she was moved to tears.

[Gospel of Jean-Claude]

The second saint, Jean-Claude, an adventurer, single, without a daughter, gave up the adventure for some reason, and went into the workplace. From assistant manager to budget supervisor, his life was consumed by work do. Knowing the date of his death, he decided to spend his days on a park bench and not take another step.

A bird was always around him and seemed to have something to say to him.

Yiya heard the melody of his life is Lamo's "Little Bird Zhou Qiu", she told the adventurer, the little bird said it likes you. The adventurer said: It can fly freely, why stop

in the park? Yiya said, the bird also wants to ask you the same question.

So, the adventurer had an epiphany, followed the bird and went away.

—Meanwhile, after our God climbed out of the washing machine, was mistaken for a pervert by a woman, and ended up suffering from anti-wolf spray. God walked out of the laundry, picked up the fish burger from the trash can to eat, and encountered a group of hooligans who were bullied and beaten to the point of fracture. When I got to the hospital, I grabbed the child's food, and I continued to be beaten...

[The Gospel of Sexual Madness]

Mark, when he was nine years old, he saw a beautiful woman in a turquoise swimsuit and long caramel legs on the beach. The road of sexual obscenity and masturbation, can't stop for beautiful women, but has social barriers, is almost middle-aged, and has not successfully dated. He had only 83 days left, took out all his savings, went to prostitutes, and after spending all his money, he could only watch stripper performances.

The melody that Iya hears his life is "Oh, Lonely" by Bothell.

Yiya told him that his voice was nice and that he could make money from it. So he went to be the dubbing of AV seiyuu. The female seiyuu he happened to meet was the goddess he saw on the beach when he was a child. After the two discussed Proust's literary works, they found that they were so compatible with each other, so they went on the same bed. (I haven't made love yet.) ——At

the same time, God's wife watched "The Last Supper", and there were suddenly 3 more of the 12 disciples, a total of 15. The extra characters on the oil painting were the first three saints.

——God Wuli went to the church to get a relief meal, cut the queue, and was beaten. An artist helped him and told the story of his tragic family ruin, but Jesus said proudly, your misery is all designed by me, enjoy it. So, beaten again.

[Killer Gospel]

Francois, obsessed with death, loved funerals, never cried, never grieved, called himself a killer, and believed that the purpose of life was to kill. After a few days, he bought a rifle and prepared to kill. He has a wife and children, but was designed by God, and he has no feeling of love for his wife.

The melody of his life is Schubert's Death and the Maiden.

Yiya asked him to aim at a brown-haired girl who appeared six seconds later. As a result, Aureli appeared, the first saint of Yiya, Yiya asked him to shoot, he fired and shot the fake arm. The killer chased Aureli up, but he felt an unprecedented feeling of love, and bravely confessed despite everything.

- God's wife saw the 16th saint appear on the oil painting.

【Gospel of Martina】

Martina had a dreamy childhood, she was fond of beauty and collecting high heels, but her husband did not love her.

She had no hope of having sex with a street gangster, but the gangster stole all the money from her purse.

Yiya heard her melody was circus music. So they went to the circus and saw a chimpanzee who touched Martina with his fingers and said he liked her. For the first time, Martina also felt such intense love.

Then, Martina bought the chimpanzee home and lived happily with him.

At the end of the film, it also explained the homeless man who followed Yiya to write "Super New Testament". He was once imprisoned for unjust, false and wrongful convictions. After he was released from prison, he could no longer sleep under the eaves, because he was afraid of what he saw when he woke up. It's still a cage, so I can only sleep while watching the stars.

——The 17th saint appears in the oil painting.

The one-armed woman accepted the killer's confession, and the two kissed and slept.

——God Wuli finally found Yiya and asked him to restart the computer. Yiya and the tramp were chased to a dead end by the river. At this time, Yiya used a miracle to walk on the river with the tramp as if walking on the ground. God tried to chase, but stepped into the river and cried out for help.

[Gospel of Willie]

Willie, a little boy, is frail and sickly, with only seven days left to live. His happiness is to be a girl, so he resolutely wears a red dress to go to school.

The melody Iya heard from him was "The Sea" by Charles Denet.

At night, he saw the dream that Ija gave him, and a crystal fish floating in the air sang to him

- God's wife saw 18 saints, and everything will change from now on.

The following week: On

Monday, Willie secretly sold the contents of his parents' house and decided to go to the beach to die.
On Tuesday, the killer promised Aureli that he would never shoot again.
On Wednesday, Martina slept with the chimpanzees and chased away her husband who didn't love her.
On Thursday, Mark (a porn freak) and Xenia had sex for the first time. God's wife decided to do a big cleaning at home.
On Friday, Iya and Willie decided to abolish Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday and replace it with January, February, March, so that Willie would have more time to enjoy the last pleasures of life.
On Saturday, Jean-Claude (adventurer), followed the bird all the way to the North Pole, and met a beautiful Chinese woman.

And after our God was salvaged from the river, he was sent back to Uzbekistan because he did not have an ID card.

[Yale]

On Sunday, the saints gathered together, by the sea, waiting to die.

When God's wife was cleaning God's office, she unplugged the computer and restarted the program, so:

the color of the sky bloomed; the glacier stopped melting; the gravity changed, people could walk on the glass curtain wall of the building; Fish walks; humans and animals can interbreed; Cyclops appears; the killer is pregnant with Aureli's child; the author of "Super New Testament", i.e., the homeless man, turns into a super bestseller, signing at bookstores.

The world is a mess.

And Wuli God was a worker on the assembly line in a washing machine repair factory, trying to find the washing machine that could go back to God's house, with a look of anger and helplessness.


This masterpiece is the new work of Belgian director and screenwriter Jacques van Dommel. It was nominated for the 2015 Golden Globe Award for Best Foreign Language Film. The whole film deconstructs and reorganizes the Bible. Under the theme, the story is well-rounded, the various elements are mixed but not conflicting with each other, the characters are simple but not superficial, especially the lines with strong literary flavor, the description of the characters is like a pleasing novella .

All in all, a heartfelt recommendation.

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The Brand New Testament quotes

  • Dieu: Law 1522:If one day you fall in love with a woman there's a great chance you will not spend your life with her.