We are always afraid to accept ourselves

Okey 2022-03-26 09:01:06

I didn't think my first review would be this movie, it's not my favorite movie, or even how much I like it. But none of these personal feelings can deny the film's superiority. It just happened that I was eager to write something recently, and this just happened to be an opportunity.
The characterization in this movie is the best I've seen recently. One of the most noteworthy is of course the protagonist Brandon, Hillary's interpretation of Brandon is very comprehensive and true. In an era when homosexuality was regarded as pathological, Brandon tried to imitate boys but couldn't get rid of some of the characteristics of girls, and did those "nothing" things embarrassingly in order to make himself look like a boy. Brandon has many close-ups of his face, and the performance of every expression is very real. Hillary handles the emotional details very well, which makes me feel every tension, embarrassment and heartbeat of Brandon.
A very impressive scene is when Brandon warned the man beside Candice not to harass Candice at the bar, but when the man who was a head taller than her and she was many times stronger stood up and asked her to repeat it, Brandon couldn't say it. When he spoke, his eyes flickered and frightened. The man hit her, and she tried to fight back, although it didn't work. It was only after the man had been subdued that Brandon dared to keep yelling at him "Damn", "Let me beat him up" and stuff like that. It's like deliberately trying to save face in front of a girl, rather than really wanting to beat him.
In fact, in the middle of the movie, I really felt that Brandon had a misunderstanding of gender, because she wanted to be a boy everywhere. But soon I found out that this was just a satire of the director's society. Brandon is reluctant to admit that she is gay, she firmly believes (in fact, I think it is her self-paralysis) that she was born with gender disorder and thinks she should be a boy. From my personal point of view, I don't like her attitude, but in that era, this is her. She disguised herself as a boy, even using socks tucked into her panties to fake male genitalia. She hangs out with boys, scholars fight and learn to do stupid things, and she wants to be completely a boy, inside and out. But when she and her cousin talked about transgender on the phone, she said: "Transgender is too painful." And the hesitation on her face and the loss and rejection that flashed in her eyes let us know that she knew she was Homosexuality, it's just that she can't accept herself because society can't accept herself.
Brandon always asked herself to be strong, and she did, and she got stronger when she met her lover. In her letter to her cousin in prison, she mentioned: "Fuck up every time, I'm strong but I may not be able to take it...I will be strong." She also mentioned in a note to Lana: " You made me stronger." In these words, I saw a helpless girl, but she was extremely strong. Although this strength was instantly destroyed by the insults of John and Tom, it was also restored by the moment she worked hard. plastic.
Unlike Brandon, Lana is not gay. She just happened to be in love with Brandon, and Brandon was her hope as the sudden dawn in her night-like life. She didn't like her life, but before Brandon came along she didn't have the desire to fight the status quo, she always lived very depressed. She doesn't like the people around her, she doesn't have a mother-like mother, a bunch of gangster friends, crazy boyfriends. Among them, her biggest unhappiness came from her crazy boyfriend John. She knew that she didn't love him, but she couldn't bear to refuse him. Until Brandon appeared, she felt that Brandon was different from everyone around her. Brandon was gentle and romantic and very polite. Like many romance films, the two protagonists looked at each other for a long time when they first met, drowning each other with the kind of deja-vu and curious eyes. Maybe because of that one look, when John was playing with Brandon and everyone was laughing at Brandon, Lana was abnormally anxious and ran to make John stop this boring game.
When Brandon was alone with Lana for the first time, Brandon, who had long been attracted to Lana, stalked Lana's house all the way. After Brandon said to Lana, "I'm not looking at your bad house, I'm looking at you." Lana was even more determined that Brandon was different from everyone else, and said to her, "Why did I invite you here." It's just that Lana was still confused about Brandon at that time, and she couldn't overcome her fear of John.
When the truth was discovered and Candice told Lana that Brandon was a girl, I thought Lana would blame Brandon and even hate her. Unexpectedly, Lana went to the prison to ask Brandon for the truth. After Brandon's pale excuse, Lana said to her: "That's your business, but even if you are a monkey, I will get you out now." Then there is the back view of them holding hands and running out of the women's prison door. Brandon really loves Lana, otherwise she wouldn't have lied when Lana asked her why she was in the women's prison. Lana also loves Brandon deeply, otherwise she wouldn't have deceived herself that she didn't dare to face the truth after knowing that Brandon was a girl.
One of the highlights of this film is that it is not only quite successful in shaping the protagonist's characters, but also the supporting roles are vivid. So there is one more character I want to talk about here, and that is Lana's mother. At first she seemed to be a bad mother, but she was actually constantly protecting her daughter from harm and protecting her daughter's heart from harm. She dared to rebel against the crazy John for her daughter, but she had to tell John Brandon's address for her daughter. She is willing to protect the person she hates but her daughter loves for her daughter. I don't think she is a bad mother, but just a good mother with some bad habits.
After Brandon was raped, he went back to Candice's house to apologize. I think at this time she has begun to slowly accept herself. But this time, instead of living in the previous room, she slept on the old sofa in the warehouse. At this time, the best scene in the whole play appeared. Lana walked in with the dawn and sat next to Brandon and said to Brandon, "You are so beautiful." At this time, Brandon still felt awkward, but Lana continued to ask what she was like before. They hugged each other, kissed each other, and Brandon smiled like never before, as she undressed in front of Lana. Because she knew that Lana accepted the real her, and she finally accepted herself.
But those sweet times were the calm before the storm. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve become calmer since I got old, or because movies rarely touch my tears now. I haven’t felt tears in my eyes when watching a movie for a long time. But when John held a gun and Lana dragged his feet and shouted Candice, when John used a snatch against Brandon and Lana broke in, when I was terrified when Brandon smiled at Lana who broke in, I was inexplicable. I was moved, and my eyes were wet. Although there were not so many tears that my vision was blurred, and not so many that they fell out, it was still a long-lost feeling.
I believe that there are actually many shadows of Brandon, but those details are slightly enlarged. Compared to the people who love us, we are always timid to accept ourselves, but the people who love us always make us accept us unexpectedly. It's not that I want to throw chicken soup, it's just that I think we shouldn't be like Brandon anymore, there will always be someone who can't accept us, but that person can't be ourselves. Be strong and be honest with yourself at the same time, it's the 21st century after all haha.
In the end, I still don't think I like the movie, but that doesn't make me deny it's a good movie.

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Boys Don't Cry quotes

  • Brandon: Lana, you are one cranky girl.

    Lana: Yeah, well, you'd be cranky, too, Mister I'm Going To Memphis Graceland Tennessee, if you were stuck in a town where there's nothing to do but go bumper skiing and chase bats every night of your evil fucking life.

  • Lana: God, I hate my life.

    Lana's Mom: [drunk on the sofa] Lana?

    Brandon: I hate your life, too.