uses one's own value to measure the world. This is a common cognition habit of people. If there is a mistake in this habit, the consequences are often irreversible, especially the harm to the relatives.
1. Plot overview
High school student Bobby's family is very happy, Bobby is also very good, everyone likes him. But all this as Bobby gradually discovers that he is gay, the whole life is disrupted. Out of goodwill, the elder brother told his mother about his younger brother's privacy. The mother who abides by the teachings of the Bible cannot accept that her most beloved son is a "comrade". She keeps using various methods, hoping to "heal" her son. Bobby met his boyfriend David at his cousin's house in Portland, but David didn't bring him comfort either. Trying to communicate with my mother, "You either accept me or forget me." That phrase worked for David's family, but it didn't work in Bobby's. An indifferent father, a controlling mother, and the same eyes around him, prompted Bobby to jump off the viaduct... The pain of losing a child made the mother fall into reflection. Through the contact with the family with gay children and the priest's release, the mother I finally realized that I was the one who killed my son. In order to comfort the dead child, the mother led the whole family into a parade in support of homosexuality.
2. Theme understanding
1. Homosexuality,
whether gay or let, needs to face double pressure: on the one hand, the social environment will produce invisible cramps, including relatives and friends around you will also feel huge psychological pressure; It is possible to devour yourself, whether you are a freak, or God has arranged it like this, no one can give the answer. The issue of sexual orientation cannot be measured by right or wrong, and various religious doctrines are difficult to explain in a coherent way. Controversy and contradictions have become a phenomenon among all living beings. Is this the will of God, or the result of natural selection? Is it psychological? Whether it is a state or a physiological characteristic is still inconclusive today. Because there is no standard answer, it makes it difficult for the stereotyped thinkers cultivated by traditional education to understand same-sex love, and they are regarded as the beasts of the flood, and they must be banned and then hurry up.
However, in the author's opinion, many films reflect a concept: homosexuality and transvestites are natural couples, as long as they are homosexuals, there will be transvestites, including the parade at the end of "God Save Bobby", which appeared in the picture. Comrades, especially gays, are basically indistinguishable from males and females, which in turn provides the basis for disgust for believers of traditional concepts. It is not known whether any researchers have been able to prove whether there is a direct link between homosexuality and transvestites, or whether it is a camouflage strategy used to please sexual partners. Those comrades with normal appearance, such as the couple in "Brokeback Mountain", Cheng Dieyi in "Farewell My Concubine", the military father in "American Beauty", and Peter in "Lovesick", the appearance and tone are different. There is no difference with heterosexuals, only they know that they are different from others. Is it really appropriate to equate homosexuality, transvestite, and sissy?
2. Serving others with oneself
When we encounter conflicting opinions, our intuition usually prevails, that is, the other party is wrong. This is a habitual psychological defense mechanism. There are three sources of stupid opinion, the first is ignorance, the second is arrogance, and the third is self-righteousness. Behind every judgment there is a so-called compelling reason and some evidence related to it. Changing one's own concept is a kind of self-denial. If the self can be easily denied, either this matter is irrelevant and you don't need to care, or the will is not firm, and the grass will fall with the wind. Anyone who is stubborn may become synonymous with strong will, and may also become a counter example of obsession. The mother in the film insisted on her own judgment, constantly using "for your own good" as a reason to test pressure on her son, and at the same time citing the teachings of the Bible as a theoretical basis, coercing her son into a corner. Such bona fide kidnappings are often fatal.
3. Feminist issues
The mother is the head of the family, and the father's function is to become a supporter, taking the child outdoors under the urging of the mother, or the background of resistance after the courtship is rejected. When the mother who lost her son asked the pastor for an explanation, and appeared on TV to talk about the change in her personal attitude, the father, as a family man, seemed a lot more feminine. This may be the family reason for Bobby's sexual orientation. Women become the masters of the family, just like the mother dozed off while driving the car in "American Beauty", and the "problem daughter" will watch breast enhancement advertisements on the Internet. This article does not intend to deny the contribution and ability of women, but just feels that the plot design of this film may have deep meaning. The mother, who once established the Cold War defense line to ban her son, became the backbone of support for homosexuality after she understood the truth. When she appeared in front of the bill hearing, she should have more understanding and sympathy for those who do not understand homosexuality. This time, she didn't take her usual tough stance.
3. Real Story
Reality has always been a goal, not an objective existence. It is only the reality that the observer thinks, and the reality expressed in the works that others want to accept. As far as that film is concerned: Bobby's cause of death, in the intention of the film's author, mainly points to the social environment's discrimination against homosexuality. But in fact, it cannot be denied that the different opinions of gay partners hurt Bobby even more. At least in the embarrassing situation of facing a family storm after coming out, Bobby persevered tenaciously. It can be said that the accumulation of emotions is finally unbearable for the teenager, but every extreme event will have a fuse, not simply the last straw that breaks the camel's back.
On the one hand, as a "special one", he has lost the warmth of his family, and has changed from the focus of attention to a problem teenager; on the other hand, people of the same kind have not brought him acceptance, and emotional weightlessness is difficult for adolescents to bear. situation. Adolescents, as a group of people who are psychologically mature, are sensitive, impulsive, and defensive. They need to be well guided. Whether it is a physical problem or a spiritual world, they all need to be able to become mentors. The indifference of the father is a superficial problem, and it may be more of the lack of "patriarchy". Bobby needs a spiritual father, his brother, his boyfriend, who betrayed him at a critical moment, those who should have been his spiritual sustenance, all left when he needed it most.
Rebellion and strong rebellious psychology in teenagers is a common psychological phenomenon. While accepting the drastic changes in physiology, it is necessary to adapt to the constantly updated presentation mode of the society. Originally a child, now an adult, who used to be a good baby, but now has to deal with issues such as independence, love, sex, autonomy, academics, and careers that have never been touched before. There are too many factors that can make young people collapse in an instant. The mother thinks that she is forcing her child to death. Why does Bobby seek short-sightedness? The answer given by the quick cuts in the film is: not accepted. This article believes that it can also be betrayal. The sudden change of family attitude, the unreliable siblings, the self-righteousness of the new boyfriend, especially the suggested method of persuading the parents is completely ineffective. This series of events has contributed to Bobby's despair in the world, no one can be trusted, no one can talk to. Cousin is okay as a playmate, but as a spiritual support, she seems inappropriate, after all, she is a girl.
The truth has always existed, but it is basically impossible to be discovered. People can only find the one they want, and then use their excellent gestalt ability to connect the fragmented evidence into a convincing story, named "Reality". ”, I don’t know which kind of truth will be regarded as history as time goes by.
4. The Mother's Request
A highlight of the film should be the mother's confession at the hearing: When you say "Amen" in church or at home, remember that a child is listening. This passage is a warning not to make mistakes in the growth of children because of negligence and stubbornness; it can also be interpreted as a kind of repentance, because of their own persistence and prejudice, the child was pushed to death. So, what this film tells the audience may be these: when we are faced with things that we cannot agree with, we should try our best to be understanding. Or because of morals. Every seemingly good starting point may lead to an irreversible ending. This may be a conservative slogan.
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