In fact, the most shocking and moving thing is that when you look back from the beginning, you can see the growth of a person, the change of a person, or the growth and change of a group of people. Justin's parents created him, but Brian shaped him. Justin is talented and has a lot of potential, but if he hadn't met Brian, he might never have had the wonderful life he's ever had. Brian, a god-like man, has everything to envy others, but if he hadn't met Justin, he might never have had such a deep-seated relationship. It can be said that the relationship between Brian and Justin has already surpassed love. He said, I want to make you the best comrade in the world, so this teenager gradually became the person he loves. During the most important period of Justin's life, Brian became his benchmark. He taught him to resist, teach him to persevere, teach him to fight, teach him to give up, teach him to be independent, teach him to rely on, teach him to be prudent in current affairs, teach him The madness of giving up everything. And so he became so shining, like his lover.
Justin broke into Brian's life as a reckless high school student. Brian also saw him as an ordinary suitor at first, but as they got along, Brian gradually realized that he was different and all he needed was A little boost of encouragement and courage. Brian said that he has two children. It is true that Justin was very innocent when they first met. He has not come out of the closet yet. The world is still beautiful and fair to him. He has many fantasies about love. He believes that parents will love unconditionally. child. And when he came out, he found that the world was not what he thought, unwarranted discrimination, malicious insults, father's disgust, unspoken love, reckless sex. He used to be afraid, when he was ridiculed when he entered the campus in a car with the words 'FAGGOT' sprayed on him, he shrank himself up; when his classmates pushed him, he chose to be silent, and Brian stood up for him The counterattack gave him the courage to stand up, and since then he abandoned his weakness and resisted for himself. He also had expectations for his father, and when his father turned violent to Brian again and again he finally broke out, shouting 'Never again!' down the street. ', and wept uncontrollably; he had carefully tested his father's understanding after leaving home, and wept silently after receiving a negative answer. But Brian would never comfort him, he would only tell Justin that in this world, only you are trustworthy and dependable, and you must be independent in order to be strong. So, Justin didn't yell or cry when his father refused to pay the tuition, he just said lightly, I will always be me, you are no longer proud of me, that's your problem, not mine.
It's been a heartbreaking growth. He doesn't see beauty, he doesn't feel fair, and in the end he's going to walk on this pain. I remember Lindsay once said, "No matter what reason warns us, we subconsciously believe that our parents will love their children unconditionally." Some things that have been with him since he was born, not only have to stay away from him, Even hurt him. In fact, we always have habitual illusions about beautiful things, and deceive ourselves until there is no turning back. But Brian rescued him from this vicious circle, he said, it was not love, it was hatred in disguise. He took him away and took him home. At this time, Brian has gradually regarded Justin as a responsibility. He not only brought Justin the ultimate sex, the pleasure of extinction, but also taught him how to survive, how to move forward, and how to be the best gay.
Many people think Justin is incredibly lucky to have Brian's love. In fact, Justin also influenced Brian to a great extent. Brain, God's gift to gays. He is arrogant, free and unrestrained wild, every look is a silent invitation, every action is a fatal temptation. His status is beyond the reach of many people, and his rotten way of life is beyond the imagination of others. He said, "I don't believe in love, I believe in sex." Many people couldn't accept his lustful lifestyle at first, and promiscuity and drugs seemed to push the boundaries of many. But Brian is no ordinary person. Beneath his gorgeous and indifferent exterior hides a longing heart that is so deep that he doesn't even want to admit it. He once told Ted that his mother was a callous bitch and his father was an alcoholic sadist, which was why he couldn't maintain a long and stable relationship. Because love is something that is sorely lacking in his life, he must have longed for it, but the endless disappointment finally made him stop expecting, and he began to arm himself with indifference. He is indeed ruthless, but not because he has no heart, but because this is his last protection for himself. He believed in sex, not just because of the pleasure, but because the pleasure of this primordial desire being gratified was proof that he was alive. So he doesn't like delusions and dreams, he just likes to have sex while awake, which is the only way for him to feel life.
His creed - 'No Apology, No Regrets' - became an iconic language among his friends. This is not arrogance or excess of self-awareness. In fact, this is a kind of self-discipline and self-discipline that is almost masochistic. No apology means no betrayal, never regret means no mistakes. Brian won't make impulsive and mindless decisions. To him, a promise is a promise, an agreement is an agreement, and once it is spoken, it will not be easily broken. Maybe the environment changes and the situation is different, but he still sticks to it until the end. This is Brian, a person who is extremely indulgent and absolutely self-disciplined, a combination of contradictions, so he is fascinating, because others can't do this, and they can't reach his heights.
Brian will always be the one who sees the most clearly, he will not be blindly optimistic or despair easily. Justin met Hobbs on Liberty Avenue. When Hobbs started to provoke Justin, Brian immediately stepped forward to protect him, but when Justin humiliated the homophobic bastard in front of everyone and everyone was proud of his bravery, Brian was calm Just tell him that you have given yourself a real enemy. He wants Justin to know that you can resist, but you can't put yourself in real danger. When Justin succeeded with the support of the congressman, he walked out of the festive crowd and told Justin indifferently that this was for the superior's use and hype, you can't take it lightly, you haven't won yet. Brian let Justin see the real face of the world a little bit, let him know the ugliness of human nature, even if they part one day, Justin can protect himself as much as possible. It's a duty that goes beyond love, and he certainly can't give Justin everything he wants, physical fidelity, sweet words, but he's teaching Justin a lot more than these illusory romances. He made him realize a more free and easy way of life, finally desire, good at self-protection, and obtain maximum freedom in this society full of discrimination.
I think Brian really fell in love with Justin at the end of the first season, and it's hard to imagine someone with such an ego going to Justin's prom. They danced together to romantic music under the spotlight and in the eyes of everyone. At that moment, they were the world in each other's eyes. This is the dance of men and men, every step, every turn, conveys warmth, provocation and conquest, the last kiss they are so enjoyed and so devoted, as if exchanging those unspoken words. The light made the fine dust in the air invisible, floating around them, and the fiery romance between the two seemed to evaporate all the sweat and dust.
However, things are never satisfactory. They were so happy one moment, but the next second was overwhelmed by great grief. After Justin was attacked, Brian sat alone on a bench in the hospital, shedding tears without a word, soaked in blood, and let the extreme pain devour himself. He blamed himself, so he never let it be known that he went to see Justin every late night, and he wore that blood-stained white scarf every day, masochistically letting himself live in pain, as if this would alleviate the Nowhere to put self-blame. When Justin comes to the bar regardless of his body, he finally has to admit that he can't let go of his Sunshine. They are finally together in their own way, they can find a buddy, but there is no kiss, no name exchange, no repetition, and they go home at three o'clock. It's their way of highlighting what's special about each other, others are just vehicles for lust, and they end up going back home, back to each other.
During the years they have been together, there have been several feuds. Justin is young and inexperienced, so he can be impulsive and lost. He once went to Babylon to be a gigolo to save money for school, he once trusted the sweet words of a violinist and left the attic, and he was once instigated by belligerents to provoke him on the streets. And every time Brian would not stay, not because he was ruthless, but because he was confident enough that he believed that Justin would wake up after being lost and come back to him. Just like we don't appreciate the existence of air and water, we only understand their importance after they are lost. It wasn't until Justin left Brian that he realized that Brian had given him so much. When he was rebuilding, he was always with him, trying to make him not give up painting and pay for his tuition... So Justin said, I never forgive Brian, I never need to forgive him, because he never what was promised to me. Brian never said love because he knew that what he said was a promise, a responsibility, a commitment, a burden. He clearly knows what he can give the other party, he will not give hope and let people down, he will not give people a chance to forgive him, because he will not forgive himself. This is Brian, a man with a kingly demeanor.
It's a lot harder to be a great gay guy than a great straight guy. Because you may never have what others can splurge on, and you can't expect what others disdain, so you have to work a hundred times harder to get what straight people have and what they don't have. I've always believed that Brian was a mentally strong person, but I didn't expect his fortitude to be so amazing. He had cancer, but he tricked everyone into operating alone; he wanted to participate in free riding, so he practiced alone at night; he broke his collarbone, but he still insisted on riding back to the finish line. He disdains the denial of others, he will not be blindly confident, he will only do every step well and push himself to the limit, how can such a person fail?
After Brian and Justin are together, it's hard to say who has changed a little bit, they just gradually become alike, with a raised eyebrow, a smile and a tacit understanding. Justin rejected people with the words Brian had rejected him, and he became casual and pointless. Brian gave all of his fortune to take Stockwell down just because some jerk told him that sometimes people sacrifice everything for what they want to do. There was one scene that caught my attention. Justin stayed at Daph's house after leaving the violinist, and he was roaming around the room, smoking, dazed, doing nothing; and Brian after Justin left Brian. This is a kind of emptiness that eats bones. They gradually infiltrate each other's lives without knowing it, and bring each other's shadow, so even Brian will be at a loss and be at a loss.
One of the things about this show that resonates with a lot of people is how real it is. After hearing the news of Babylon's explosion, Brian rushed into the venue desperately, and he shouted Justin's name in a heart-wrenching manner, and every break was heartbreaking. They met in chaos. At this time, there was no tear-jerking background music, and no deliberately elongated footage. They were surrounded by broken rubble, flying dust, flashing police lights, and only the sound of walkie-talkies and sirens. In the midst of the ruins, hugging and kissing like no one else, Brian whispered 'I love you' to Justin amid the noise. He was really afraid, he was afraid of losing his Sunshine again, he was afraid of experiencing the helplessness and pain of being powerless again. So he decided to give him a secure future, he sold the loft, he sold the Babylon, he bought the suburban villa, he made a bet with love, he proposed to Justin, he gave everything he could, as long as it made him Happy Sunshine.
Brian once said that he wanted to make Justin the best comrade, so this young boy gradually turned into an outstanding artist, he was young and talented, he had a higher and farther sky that belonged to him, and his life was talented Just set sail.
It's just that they're both too good and love each other more than their own lives, and they both want to see each other succeed and see each other be the best they can be.
The last time they had sex before Justin left was my favorite scene and I think the most artistic scene in the entire show. In the attic that bears countless memories, they fought each other for the last time, and the bizarre lanterns reflected on them, reflecting their once nudity and lingering. Intermittent moaning, trembling light panting, crystal sweat dripping on the hot skin as if it could evaporate in an instant, they all want to imprint each other permanently on the bottom of their eyes and in their hearts, and they all want to carve a deeper path in each other's life. Mark of. They embraced each other peacefully and naked, and in the end, there was only one person left.
So they had the years of persistent pursuit, the years of relying on each other to support each other, the years of separation because of love and jealousy, the years of cherishing each other after looking back, the years of wanting the dust to settle for the rest of their lives, and finally , they choose to go their separate ways.
This is really a tragic love, they influenced each other, witnessed each other, and finally released each other. They can't be entangled by what they once had and give up what they will have, and can't let the past wear off, so they choose their own paths and run towards their own lives alone. They interpret love and sacrifice, dependence and separation, togetherness and separation, as the song sings: we all lose to our own ambitions.
Justin has a saying, he said that New York is not the end of his life, Brian is. I believe this is what he thought from the bottom of his heart. They did embark on different paths, but the end of the road may not be the starting point many years ago. It is true that they have gone astray, but the end of the road may not be the same return.
In the end, Brain danced alone on the high platform of Babylon, his kingdom, his stage. No Apology, No Regrets. Without a doubt, he has walked with his love. He has the most gorgeous feathers, how could he not fly.
The old tumpa-tumpa is still, this is his kingdom, he is king alone.
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