However, I gradually learned that too many people will gradually become another father or mother in the process of growing up. Like me, and my cousin.
My cousin was naughty since he was a child, but he had a grumpy father, so I watched him get beaten up as a child, slapped with a belt by his father, and slapped by his father in public. When he grew up and became strong, he began to resist and fight back. If he goes back further, his father was also a child who was often beaten up by his father. Today, his relationship with his father, just like his father's relationship with his grandfather, is cold and perfunctory.
And it wasn't until this year that the inherited relationship between me and my father really started to become clear and clear. I've had more than one ex-boyfriend accusing me of having a grumpy temper and mean language, and I've never understood when I started to have this nasty personality. Until later, under the sense of failure and frustration when I communicated with my father again and again, I suddenly realized that the way my father usually treats me is exactly the same as the way I treat my lover! I know my father loves me, and I love him too. However, the disappointment caused by his high expectations and my unsatisfactory work and life made him overwhelmed and always wanted to reverse it. His anxious, helpless attempt to get his thoughts over my head, ranting about the mistakes I've made over the years, interrupting every time I opened my mouth to talk about my thoughts and telling me that I was wrong and that What should I do. Sometimes, he even said something like his life was a failure, he must be lonely when he grows old, etc., and his self-pity words instantly freeze my fading communication emotions...
When I was horrified to find that my father's inferiority complex and conceit, terrible desire to control, how to communicate in a difficult way, frequent bursts of negativity and pessimism... all of them were copied on me. And myself, on the one hand, I resisted these character flaws of my father, and on the other hand, I inherited it and imposed it on others.
Therefore, these personal experiences of mine resonated deeply in my heart when I was watching "Like Father Like Son".
There is a lot of Nonomiya, and there is no doubt that he loves Keita, but among the love that is not well expressed, it is more obvious that there are expectations and disappointments for Keita. Qing Duo, on the other hand, always carefully catered to his father's expectations, playing the piano, which he was neither good at nor fond of, just to prove his hard work and dedication to his father. A lot of authority as a father, meticulous and strict requirements, clear etiquette between old and young, and occasional disappointment after expectation, isn't it just like his own father? He went home to visit his father and stepmother, and he did not enjoy the interaction between himself and his father. In addition to the necessary respect for his father, he was more resistant and evasive. But at that time he would not know that if he continued to get along with Qing Duo with his current attitude, many years later, he and Qing Duo would also be a repeat of the relationship between his father and him.
Although it is unfortunate, it is also lucky. The wrong child and the exchanged father make the subsequent story not continue according to the original track. The appearance of another father, Saiki Yuda, made many people finally begin to introspect after being arrogant and contemptuous. He finally came to understand that the true definition of a good father does not depend on the aura of a wealthy architect, the size and beauty of the house, education and social status; a really good father, he will play and play with his children , he will make kites for his children (just like Yuda Saiki's father, he made kites for him when he was a child, and Yuda also made kites for his own children), he even repairs electric toys...
Saiki Xiongda may be vulgar and not highly educated, but from his father, he has inherited the fatherly love that the child most wants. His three children grew up lively, boldly and arbitrarily, and his family was harmonious, relaxed and harmonious; after spending many days with the Zhaimu family and his own children, many of them finally completed their second growth. Finally, I know how to love people with love and laughter, love my wife, be sympathetic to my stepmother, and get out of the shadow of my father.
Leo Duo is finally no longer his father, and Qing Duo will not become the second Leo Da in the future.
We are always imperceptibly, inheriting some of the beauty or ugliness left by our parents. Even if we hate and resist those ugliness, many times, we will helplessly become the person we hate and treat the next generation with the way we hate.
I hope more people can see this clearly, and I hope you can love your children in a way that you like but don't get, because they are likely to be the next you.
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