In the traditional Chinese ideological and cultural concepts, the family concept based on the patriarchal line is deeply rooted and has been inherited for thousands of years, affecting the way of thinking and behavior of the Chinese people. In a traditional Chinese family, the father plays the role of the head of the family. The head of the family is responsible for all aspects of the family, the rise and fall of the family, and the long history of the family. Therefore, as the head of the family, he must maintain a good image of the family externally, and he must make sufficient efforts for the continuation of the family bloodline internally, so we will see such a farce as the "wedding banquet". In fact, in the movie, the role of father, we can see good intentions from him, but also irony and sadness from him. In the film, in order to avoid more trouble, son Weitong chooses to marry Weiwei in a low-key fake marriage, but this low-key way of marrying undoubtedly touches the Chinese family tradition of patriarchy. "What are you getting married?" In the eyes of the Chinese, marriage is definitely not a matter of just two people, but a major matter of two families. The union of the next generation heralds the continuation of a family, and this continuation Not only do you have to be aware of it, but also let everyone in the family and around the family know that this is not only to maintain the external image of a family, but also to create a vision of the family's prosperity and continuation, but also to declare a kind of family. The maintenance and observance of traditional values and living conditions gave birth to the Chinese-style "wedding banquet", which is full of crazy, joking, and even absurd wedding banquets, and is undoubtedly full of the father's good intentions. Why is the father in the film sad again? Because, from the second half of the film, we can see that the father has long been aware of his son's sexual orientation. I have to say that director Ang Lee is indeed a detail control. During the progress of the film, he has quietly Buried a lot of details on the foreshadowing, suggesting that the father took everything in his eyes. Dad saw Simon when he first arrived in America The complex eyes of the two reclining chairs in the backyard; the father calling Simon's name in a relatively pure pronunciation; the door that was inadvertently closed when Simon and Wei Tong secretly called; and when Simon learned that Wei Wei was pregnant with Wei Tong's child During the quarrel, the father scolded the mother for not speaking with a serious face. It could be seen that the father actually took everything in his eyes, but in order to maintain the family's reputation and the continuation of the family, he silently watched all the deceptions and deceptions around him. Concealed, although he also knew that maybe the son would be truly happy if he fulfilled his different feelings from ordinary people, but at this moment, he is not only a loving father, he is also the elder of a family, and he has no choice but to save the family's face and face. Survival is exhausting, so he chooses to unilaterally tell Simon, and to some extent admit his son's same-sex feelings, and try to pretend not to know, and let mother, Weiwei, Weitong continue to tell an endless lie Keep going, so as to preserve your dignity as a father and preserve the face of the entire family. Therefore, even if the film finally presents a seemingly happy ending, what hides behind this ending is a greater worry, or a greater sadness. In this relationship, Weiwei and the child in her belly will eventually become redundant people who are useless and gain nothing, and there will be more and more complicated situations waiting for the back. For Weitong and his family, this is a certainty, and this may be the price of maintaining that set of values and traditional morality.
As a son, Wei Tong, in the film, is actually an extremely contradictory character. There is such a scene in the film is very interesting. After the son and his father came home from the morning exercise, the father slept on the reclining chair with a gaunt face. At this time, the son subconsciously tested his father's breath with his hands to determine whether his father was dead. In fact, I think Wei Tong's subconscious wish for his father to die, which can also be proved from Freud's point of view on male patriarchy. In fact, in the whole relationship, the father has always been an obstacle in front of the son. He confessed to his mother the fact that he is gay, but he never dared to confess to his father. For an adult son, the father is always another The male role, the self-consciousness of male adult personality, will make him naturally reject the authority formed by other males, which explains his subconscious idea of killing his father. In the film, to a certain extent, the value system of the free self formed by the son who has lived in the United States for many years naturally excludes the concept and value system established by his father on behalf of the tradition, so the death of the father can also Brings the crash of the values he stands for, so the son longs for his father to die. However, the paradox is that the son Weitong was educated and grown up under such a value system as his father, and the traditional concepts of filial piety and obedience are deeply rooted in the son's thoughts, so he will be able to think and act The production of such a big contradiction, and the use of another new Westernized value mixed with traditional Chinese values to resist Chinese traditional values, itself is doomed to its failure.
However, today, how do we view our traditional value system, whether it will become entrenched, or will it gradually compromise, this question is difficult for us to answer. But in my opinion, if we put aside all moral principles and values, we ask ourselves what can guide us to maintain this harmony and stability in family, interpersonal relationships, I think it is love! Yes, it is love, and only love. There are people in the world who never give up on you, always tolerate all your faults, and give you support and encouragement as always, that is your parents. Since the starting point of everything is love, then happiness should be the end point. If children are happy, then all the wishes of parents have been achieved, so they should feel relieved. So as a child, you don’t have to let all your self-deceiving behaviors bury your pursuit of love and your own way of life. Why don’t we be honest with our parents, trust a little bit, and believe that your parents will unconditionally tolerate your faults and give them acceptance Your time, believe in the love between you, and give love a chance, okay? If our society can one day progress to the point where we respect each other, whether it is fathers and sons, relatives, or any other person, we can achieve a kind of mutual recognition of each other as independent people, and with universal Love each other, respect each other's way of life, life beliefs, sexual orientation, etc., then we will no longer be bound by complicated moral principles and values, and we will no longer be forced to carry so many heavy burdens and values. False lies, we will live more self, freer and better.
I look forward to that day!
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