The first time I heard of
When I watch this movie again, I have been alone in the US for over 3 years. After reading it, my impression is: unable to relate, even a little disappointed, where are these feudal, backward and twisted women?
Those child brides, wars, matchmakers, have never appeared in my world, and those abcs are not like the abcs I know. The movie was made more than 20 years ago, and everything in the Chinese people has long been different. But, is it?
Maybe few people wear cheongsam again, and few parents force their children to practice the piano, but there is a sentimental thing that has not changed, that is, it seems that fate seems to be forever under a curse, and it has been bitter.
This is also my experience in the United States in the past few years. In the same daily life, Americans are relaxed and Chinese are heavy.
The only person in the movie who tries to get rid of this sad curse is Waverly, she is really close to the individualism above the American ego, so she married Rich, a white man, she should be happy, because the movie does not specifically say that her marriage, and the same married Rose, who is white, finally had to divorce to contrast.
Sad things always seem to be favored by the Chinese, such as two choices, happiness or unhappiness, we are taught, unexpectedly, to choose unhappiness. We know from childhood that we want Kong Rong to give up the pear, and it is the right one to pick the bad one. We are taught to attract the wind. Even if we are excellent, we have to pretend to be cowards. Unfortunately, you have to heal your wounds silently, and you have to endure hardships in order to be a superior person. Just like people in the movie say swallow your own sorrow, live in the tragic way. Americans are not like this. Their thinking is simpler. There is no doubt that the good and the bad should be chosen. If you are happy, you must laugh recklessly. When you are sad, you can choose to abandon sadness. A very important detail in the novel is not detailed in the movie. It is that June's mother Suyuan entertained everyone for dinner. There were 10 people in total. She bought 11 crabs, one of which was missing a leg. It was originally a spare. Thinking of Waverly's first choice on the table, I gave the best to my daughter (children are not counted in Suyuan's plan, crabs are only given to adults, no children), the second best to my husband, and I chose it myself Third best. So the spare legless crab was finally distributed to Suyuan. She shied away from having a bad appetite and was so angry that she didn't eat it. So in the movie, she scolded her daughter June, "Waverly picks the best crabs, and you know the worst ones". Also born and raised in the United States, June is more docile and obedient, absorbing the values of Chinese mothers. Waverly is obviously more rebellious, but lives better than others.
There is also the expectation of Chinese parents who are very stressful. June told her mother that your anticipation made me unbearable, but Suyuan said, it is not anticipation (expectation), but hope (hope). But this kind of hope becomes an obligation when it is passed on to the child, to fulfill the wishes of the parents. Do Americans think so? No, they don't have the Chinese idea of "owing their parents a life" to their parents. Your thoughts are your thoughts. I have my own life.
The bitterness that the Chinese cannot get rid of permeates every bit of life. Just like the lyrics of Lin Xi's song "Times":
"If you are not cheerful for a moment, you will be depressed and disappointed because of disappointment
. How can you let go of such a nervous heart"
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