It is waiting.
Waiting for the next attack; waiting for the next meal, waiting for the next dawn.
Recruits ask veterans: How did you become what you are now?
Veteran: Resist the temptation to be kind.
Some people choose one way, some people choose another.
Nobody knows the answer. But for sure, no one remains the same as it used to be.
Recruit: How did you survive so long.
The veteran said coldly: You have to hope that the person beside you will be hit.
The war has been lost, and all you have to choose is to die, or to lie.
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