"No, no one is waiting for me at all, I'm lying".
"I know, darling, no one is waiting for you, and there will never be. The child, life and body belong to someone else, never to you. Looking back, you are still alone."
This ending surprised me, no Because I didn't get together unexpectedly, but Ada's words kept ringing in my ears like an alarm bell. I need to hurry up and find a man to settle down. I must not end up alone like that.
"You're stuck in the snow, you're freezing to death, and your sleep makes you feel so sweet, but you don't realize you're dead!"
There was no expectation at this moment, and I started to miss you again. You are so powerful, moving with time without blurring. At that time, I thought that reason could control everything, but every time I saw your face in other people's faces, and heard your voice in other people's voices, it was like a slap in the face, which severely humiliated my self-righteousness. .
I'm a lonely person, I'm used to being alone. The reason I never told you, and never intend to tell you. I was then, and I am now, still not used to walking into other people's lives, or letting others into my life. You are an accident, I can't help it, just like my reason can't stop missing you at the moment. I pulled you into my life, and the few months with you were the happiest times of my life. But it's too hard, really hard. I know that one day I will hurt you, and my cold heart will hurt you. Breaking up at that moment is the best ending.
When you first left me, I was as light as a bird. I went back to my original state, listening to second-hand CDs by myself, dancing my body by myself, and it felt so good. Until one day I found the hairpin you left behind and I cried like a child. I suddenly realized that I had lost someone in my life, someone important, and I've never cried so much. But you are gone, gone, and no way can find you anymore. After so many years, this hairpin is always in my pocket, and where we meet, I always wander unconsciously there.
I think distance makes people realize something. Just like you didn't disappear in my life, I wouldn't know, it would be so scary to miss you, how important you are. But some things are wrong and can't be undone. You still left, and you walked so dashingly. It's hard for me to say whether I regret my choice, but aside from the ubiquitous miss, I'm fine.
Unexpectedly at this moment, I start to miss you again. You are so powerful, moving with time without blurring. I thought that getting married, having children, and living in a world without you, everything would be fine, but last night I dreamed of you again, hugging you, I can already make carrot cinnamon cake, but I can never make your taste, The thought of you now and then, like a slap in the face, humiliated my self-righteousness.
I am a person with dignity above everything else, although what I want more is your love. The few months I spent with you were the happiest time in my life. Even though you were often distracted and suddenly silent, when you kissed me lightly and said goodbye, I still shed tears. I asked myself why I still started when I knew the ending, and why I was still so sad when I knew the ending. But what can I do, turn around and leave, never come back, this may be the best ending.
When I chose to leave, I decided to disappear completely and replace everything. I went to the town where you grew up, I secretly took a second-hand CD from you, I sat where you grew up, imagining that you would never have imagined our future meeting when you were a child, imagining that you were a child Hold it in my arms and tell a beautiful fairy tale, the ending must not be like this for us.
I think distance makes people realize something. Just like you didn't disappear in my life, I wouldn't know, it would be so scary to miss you, how important you are. But you said goodbye, my dignity won't let me go back, and I can't be hurt by you again. It's hard for me to say whether I regret my choice, but aside from the ubiquitous miss, I'm fine.
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