Is God a sustenance or an existence

I read the Bible today and finished ten episodes. Individual ability is limited, unable to explore the conclusion of God, Buddha, and materialism. Of course, no one can make a definite conclusion now. It is just a feeling that the universe exists, human beings exist, all things exist, the happiness and pain of human beings, and all kinds of unspeakable emotions will not come out of nowhere, and there must be a master operating in the dark. But this master, what is her purpose? The emptiness of human existence floats around, happiness is short-lived, pain and boredom are just like Schopenhauer said, like a pendulum clock in life, pain and boredom are fundamental, so We have to have a spiritual sustenance, but this sustenance feels so unreal.
I want to believe, but how should I believe, and where should I believe? Maybe it's because of their lack of ability, and they haven't opened their minds; maybe there are too many obstacles; some people are ignorant, but they believe in happiness. Some people are smart, and they also have religious beliefs, such as Einstein. But in China, many people may not believe it or not, but they just feel that it may exist. I am willing to believe in her existence, otherwise how can I overcome all kinds of illusions and boredom in life? But we doubted her existence, otherwise, why would there be so much misery in life, and why would there be so many wars and injustices in the world. Man has original sin, God loves man, but God cannot approach sinful man. Those who believe in God and miracles will be cared for by the Lord just as well, but those who still believe in God and miracles without seeing God will be more loved by God. I always feel that these sayings have a religious "cunning", just like what some Buddhist friends said: you can question the existence of the Buddha because you can't see the Buddha and miracles, but you can't say that she doesn't exist because you haven't seen it.
Perhaps, the Buddha is in everyone's heart, and if there is a Buddha in the heart, one will become a Buddha. The main thing is our state of mind. But without the spiritual sustenance of Buddha or God, will we have such a powerful force to support our beautiful soul? Maybe there are, for example, some great philosophers in the ancient West, and maybe there are some around us. They have experienced a painful life, constantly thinking in the dark and sad, and transformed into a powerful spiritual force.

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