those ignorant young people

Usually, I rarely mention others in my own writing, and even if I do, I rarely appear as the protagonist. This is what I discovered today. The main reason is not that I am too selfish, but that I am not very good at spying on others. But today is an exception. "I" has to give way to a "she". She is the conductor I met today when I was working on a bus. To be honest, she is a bit ugly. From the accent she asked me about my destination, I guess it shouldn't be Cantonese either. People, but don't get me wrong, I'm not discriminating against her as a long and ugly non-Cantonese wage earner. In fact, we are in the same camp. I want to express a feeling, ordinary to mediocre, in the crowd. The kind of people who were immediately submerged in the room, and who would not think of them after they met and separated, they were quite a large group of people. Good foreshadowing, she went on to say that she should have just started working as a conductor, and she had to talk to the driver next to me. The bus company has regulations. In order to avoid accidents, it is generally forbidden to talk to the driver. She is obviously not used to it. Of course, I didn't mind this too much. While waiting for the green light to be in neutral, she suddenly asked the driver what the brown car was next to the bus. I answered the question, it was a Porsche 911, and the driver said, Ferrari... (As a driver , you are too unprofessional, brother) I corrected it casually, "It should be a Porsche." The driver brother seemed to have a hard time on his face. In order to cover up his lack of knowledge, he said, "Well, you will never be able to buy this car in your life." From, that pretty car can be bought around (referring to all the cars that were waiting for the red light together at the time). In fact, he was wrong again, the bus is actually quite expensive, a few million, so let's not worry about it for now, we just need to understand what he means - just want to say that this car is very cool. My sister-in-law was not convinced. She said in an unquestionable tone, I can't afford it now, but I will definitely be able to afford it in the future. Don't pretend that you don't know me balabala when I drive it... That tone is like the uprising of Chen Sheng and Wu Guang Shi said that Yan Que knew the ambition of Honghu, and it was not a joking tone. In fact, I might have blurted out such words before. I hate people who look down on others the most. I am obviously a diaosi, and I look down on people of the same class as you. If she can’t afford you, can you afford it? ? However, as I grow older, I probably can’t say it anymore, let alone stand up for the innocent little sister. As for why I can’t say it, there are too many reasons: I have gone to many places, done various jobs, I have seen the rich and powerful, the rich and the powerless, and I understand a simple truth: From ancient times to the present, inequality and injustice have always been the case. From China to foreign countries, even tens of thousands of light years away It's unfair, the princes and generals are really kind, and reincarnation is a big question. No matter how hard you work your whole life, it’s hard to buy a Porsche, even if you’re not a conductor and do more promising things, with your education and appearance, unless you win the lottery, the probability of buying a Porsche is the same as if you won the lottery probability is equally low.

It's mean, isn't it? The reality is that I never buy lottery tickets or believe in luck. I used to believe in down-to-earth, hard work and harvest, but now I don't seem to believe this completely. There is an article on psychology that says that gamblers and lottery fans are optimists, because only such people believe in miracles. On the contrary, I should be a pessimist. When I grow up, I know that life always backfires. Yes, there are too many things about the right time and place, talent, background, connections, luck, there are many uncontrollable things, China's population base is so large, the competition is so big, you say you can endure hardship, and there are people who don't want to die. Well, do you think you are good enough? Then there are those who go abroad to get a full scholarship, not to mention that you are neither good nor lucky"...

Actually, writing this article is not to laugh at this conductor, and I am not right to buy it. I don't care about Porsche. In fact, I am not interested in cars. Many people I admire are not very interested in material things, such as Guevara, Lennon, Wang Xiaobo, Liu Xiaodong... Even if they are like Li Ka-shing, my impression is What is profound is an article about the story of him taking the bus to work every day, although I don't believe it (the bus full of his bodyguards might be more expensive than driving), but I think this kind of attitude towards material things is very valuable. I am unhappy with myself. I don't know when and where I lost my vision for the future. This vision used to accompany me all the way to the college entrance examination and college entrance examination, but now it's gone. It's like being stolen by a thief. No trace, too many reasons for me to lose confidence in this world: unfair rights, corrupt officials, mistresses, businessmen, raccoon dogs, profit-seeking enterprises, polluting the air, polluting the water, polluting the land, selfish people, eating up the elements Periodic table, global warming, disappearance of species, do you think tomorrow will be better, but tomorrow is still the same and maybe worse. Why convince yourself to deceive yourself into believing in the future? Even the people who wrote <> are crazy, isn't this ironic? It's hard for someone like you to have an hukou in Shenzhen. Isn't it funny how you can buy a Porsche? The penguins in Antarctica are not afraid of people because they have never seen people. People are fearless because of their ignorance. Ignorance is neither naive nor cute, the heart is higher than the sky and the life is thinner than the paper, do you understand? Even this word is not to describe us, but to describe the "beautiful" beauty. Do you understand after saying so much?

I don't know how to proceed after writing this, and it is estimated that I am so gloomy and negative that I don't want to live after reading this. Depression is probably like this, a lot of people don't know they have depression, but I know I have it, Mel Gibson also knows that I have it, it's a kind of desperation to see through the world, and people with major depression end up completely completely give up themselves, because they cannot express it, only suicide. But I’m not yet. Like Mei, I still want to save it again. In fact, I don’t think it’s bad to reshape a personality. Don’t we always advocate to make ourselves better, more beautiful, more successful, more kind, Change yourself without knowing yourself. I think Mr. Beaver is very good, energetic and humorous, and it is a model of positive energy. However, mental patients tend to go to extremes, thinking that it is either black or white. In the end, the beaver personality will completely control itself, and "self" does not exist, which is actually equivalent to suicide. The movie still gave a bright tail at the end. For the sake of the family, Mei cut off the connection between her husband and herself in a decisive way to save herself. In fact, I think this is a flaw in the movie. If it is the power of the family that saves him, he Why didn't it get better 3 years ago? For a mild patient like me, self-rescue is the key. Didn't Dou Wentao say that his motto is "I think I can save it again!"? He was able to pass it on when he hosted "Wen Tao Pai An". Those with depression, the show was stopped later, and Cui Yongyuan, they all saw too much reality, they didn't die, there were many reasons, the most important thing was that they didn't want to die, Leslie Cheung jumped in the end, it's not the people who care about him too few people.

That's it, as a neurotic, I have too much to say.

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