Ordinary, yet tragic.
Some were shocked, some didn't understand. I want to say that you don't understand because you are blind to some things.
You can't turn a blind eye to the important people and things.
When you see it, you can peel it off.
Let's start with color.
First, white and red
are the two most important colors in the whole film.
Red, blood-like red, many people noticed. But everyone tends to ignore white.
In fact, those shocking reds are often made of white backgrounds.
White and red are usually interpreted in a positive sense. For example, white symbolizes peace and purity, and red symbolizes passionate life.
But in this film, of course, these two colors are not interpreted in this way.
Lifeless pale, and full of aggressive blood red.
Just as this zombie-like mother created her demon-like son.
2. What does Kevin really want?
Kevin was an unexpected child, the product of an unprotected sex act. After his birth, the mother's various actions revealed that she refused to accept Kevin, she used various methods to avoid facing her son, and was deliberately blind to his existence and her needs. And the son's way of dealing with her is to cause all kinds of trouble and fight against her. This strange mother-son war intensified, until finally the son created a school tragedy.
In prison, the mother asked her son why, and the son replied: I always thought I knew why, but now I don't.
So why exactly? What does Kevin really want?
The ultimate purpose of all his bad behavior is undoubtedly aimed at his mother, and we will start with his mother.
As I said in the previous section, Kevin's mother, Eva, is a zombie-like woman. Eva was very playful and crazy before marriage, but this kind of play revealed a kind of desperate madness. She was afraid that her boyfriend would leave her. She chose to have a relationship with her boyfriend even when she knew it was not safe, all of which showed her inner feelings. Uneasy and hopeless, so fill it with crazy fun. However, the arrival of his son forced this crazy and fun life to end, so the bright veil was torn off, life revealed its original embarrassing appearance, and Eva became a pale, lifeless woman like a zombie. In fact, Eva did not accept Kevin's birth at all, and was unwilling to show her mother's love and patience to her son. Even if she occasionally pretended to smirk and play routine parent-child games, she couldn't hide her "drag" that delayed her pursuit of happiness in life. impatience and resentment. She was as rigid as a zombie, neither crying nor laughing, nor screaming nor angry, turning a blind eye to the existence of her son.
In fact, there are many details that show Eva's "zombie feeling" in the film. For example, in the prenatal class for pregnant women, other expectant mothers are excitedly exchanging experiences, only Eva has a big belly but looks like an outsider's indifference. For example, when Kevin committed the crime, other people were extremely shocked, angry and sad when they saw the tragedy, but Eva only had a slightly surprised expression. Another example is that after the tragedy, the exterior walls of Eva's house and car were splashed with red paint by others in revenge. Eva did not feel any emotional changes such as fright or anger, but just lightly wiped off these terrible things, and even wiped off the red paint. She never forgets to say hello to her neighbors when she is in school - when she smiles at her neighbors with bright red hands and greets them in a peaceful way, it gives people a feeling of terror rather than strength. How scary is a woman who doesn't even have normal emotions like fear and anger.
In academic terms, a woman like Eva is the so-called "emotional isolation", especially when facing her son, she keeps turning a blind eye to his son, pretending that his son has nothing to do with her at all.
If you were Kevin, what would you do?
In "The Sound of Music", Maria asked the Colonel's seven children: "I've never understood why you are such good children, but you love to make fun of people?" The children replied: "Only then will Dad pay attention to us."
In this film, it is the same logic. Kevin's constant troubles are all to attract his mother's attention and get his mother's love and attention. It's a pity that Colonel Von Trapp still loves and cares about children in "The Sound of Music" (even if his way of expressing it is that he constantly hires tutors to make fun of children), but in this film, Kevin's efforts are not It hasn't worked.
Eva has always turned a blind eye to the existence and needs of her son, her stiff smirk and the occasional burst of impatience and avoidance reveal that she doesn't want Kevin as a son. In fact, every time the son deliberately opposes her, it is an opportunity. He not only vents his dissatisfaction with his mother for neglecting him before, but also has the motive to get his mother's attention - every time is an opportunity, as long as Eva can seize one of the opportunities and endure it. If the son vents his dissatisfaction, admits his mistakes, and gently tolerates his son with love, then the relationship crack can be completely repaired. Or even if the cracks cannot be completely repaired, give the child a little attention and a little response, and support the child noisily until the child is an adult, arguing with the child is better than ignoring the child completely. But no, not even once, even if there are signs of improvement, such as the son becoming more obedient when he is sick, the mother as an adult does not have the courage to go further, but avoids the problem again.
She turned a blind eye to all problems, turned a blind eye to her son - the peak of this kind of blindness was that she conceived and gave birth to a daughter on her own accord without even discussing with the father of the child. She thought that life could be "restarted" like a computer game. She thought that by multiplying the love and patience owed to her son on her daughter, she could no longer face her son, and she could pretend that her son did not exist.
The most heart-wrenching conversation between Eva and Kevin before she decides to have a daughter in the film is
Eva: You're going to have a new playmate, and you're going to love him.
Kevin: What if you don't like it?
Eva: Then you will get used to him too.
Kevin: Getting used to him doesn't mean you've become liking him, haven't you gotten used to me now.
This dialogue starkly reveals the fundamental problem between mother and son: the mother is numb and hypocritical, she uses something called "habit" to cover up the problem and avoid it without actually facing it. But hypocrisy is something that can only be learned after many years. The young man cannot learn hypocrisy. On the contrary, the impulsive and aggressive vitality that belongs to this age makes the son refuse to accept the mother's "habit", using more and more The outrageous behavior forces the mother to face herself. In this interaction, a zombie-like mother creates a demon-like son, which ultimately leads to tragedy.
For the son's ignorance of his mother and her ignorance of himself, he forced his mother to "see" him again and again. From deliberately causing trouble as a child, to confronting the older ones, to taking away all the other things that attract the mother's attention (pets, sister, father, etc.) - the culmination of this kind of behavior that allows the mother to "see" him is He created the school massacre. What is particularly tragic is that the reason why the son used the bow and arrow was also heard when his mother told him the story of Robin Hood.
Even in the school tragedy, when Kevin stood alone in the gym or walked out after committing a crime, he felt the cheers of the crowd like a star coming out-because he had not received his mother's attention since he was a child, he hoped to be so Many people follow. And the person he most wants to get her attention is ultimately his mother.
So until Kevin was put into a police car and taken away, his eyes were still on his mother.
Mother asked Kevin why he did it.
If the motive is revenge, Kevin should feel very happy and count out the cold and violent injuries his mother has done to him over the years.
But Kevin said he doesn't know now.
Because after so many years, my mother finally learned to "see" him and pay attention to him.
That was exactly two years after Kevin committed the crime.
It took a whole two years for my mother to change from her stiff and numb look of turning a blind eye to the problem to a little softer, and finally she looks like an ordinary mother.
She gave her son the first real hug—yes, his son struggled, both in surprise and in venting his grievance and resentment for his mother's indifference and neglect over the years.
But this time the mother didn't flinch like before, she still hugged her son tightly.
Attention, patience, tolerance, this is maternal love.
So sad that Kevin did nothing for revenge, just to get his mother's love and attention. A thing that a mother should have learned before she gave birth to a son, but a full eighteen years late.
All the tragedies actually stem from the mother's evasive attitude of "turning a blind eye" to the problem. If you had taken precautions in the first place, if you realized that you didn't want your son and killed him or gave him up, if you could respond when your son expects his attention - if you face one of these things head-on, you will be completely Change the fate of mother and son.
However, she did nothing, she turned a blind eye to it all.
3. "We need to talk about Kevin" is the correct attitude.
I don't like the translation of "what's wrong with Kevin". The original title of this film is We Need To Talk About Kevin, and the literal translation is "We Need To Talk About Kevin" . In fact, the latter is what I think is the correct translation and the correct attitude.
Many Chinese people do not understand Kevin's behavior in this film, including thinking that Kevin is "naturally bad", or that his mother is "submissive" and worthy of sympathy, etc. This is related to the national conditions of our country. The residual feudal concept makes our parents generally do not know how to raise their children with love and freedom, and the utilitarian nature of raising children to prevent old age makes parents consciously or unintentionally ignore their children's feelings, alienating children from a living person into a tool - funny Pets, punching bags to vent, pennants to show off face, ATMs for pension funds, etc. Therefore, our country has no shortage of zombie parents like Eva who turn a blind eye to the real needs of their children, and naturally speak from her standpoint. And what is even more terrible is that the feudal traditional culture respects the supremacy of parental rights, and believes that it is a great grace for parents to have children, so they have absolute control over their children. A common situation in reality is that a child who has not received enough parental love grows up physically and mentally and makes a big mistake. The parents say "I don't have a son like you!" and abandon the child "righteously and annihilating relatives". In fact, there has been a long-term and widespread case of children being abused by physical or mental violence, but it is also "turned a blind eye" by everyone. So I was very surprised to see that the mother who "turned a blind eye" like the Chinese parents in this film was attacked by her son and reviled by the people.
At the end of last year, there was a shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut, USA. The murderer was also a child just like Kevin. He liked guns because of his mother, and he shot and killed to prove himself to his mother. After the incident, the public was more angry with the murderer's mother than at the murderer himself, just as the people besieged Eva in this film. Their logic is: the murderer is so young, he will do this, obviously because of parenting problems!
Interjection: There are many cases where improper parenting destroys children. Children abuse their children just as their parents abused themselves in the past, and at extremes they become extreme situations such as Ma Jiajue. It's just that our culture chooses to "turn a blind eye".
"What's wrong with Kevin" is a translation full of Chinese characteristics, anxiously thinking that by putting all the responsibility on the child, you can turn a blind eye to the real problem, as if Eva would take her son to see an ear doctor instead of reflecting on her own way of parenting, also Seems like the practice of Chinese parents abandoning their children after improper parenting has ruined them.
And "We need to talk about Kevin" is to finally sit down and face the facts and patiently explore the solution.
After all, the problem of the child is not just the child.
In this world, you cannot turn a blind eye to those important people and things. Because even if you turn a blind eye, they still exist and happen.
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