Insomnia all night long, starting years ago.
I didn't look back, I always thought it was because of the impact of the chaotic ending of the previous relationship.
Looking back at the current feelings, under the calm expression, there are turbulent setbacks and faults that are unknown to others.
I have always thought that love is single-mindedness and cannot tolerate a little bit of sand. I have always dealt with this in my past relationships. No matter what, once you cheat, you must leave. I thought that was my bottom line, because that's how morality is told, and how fiction is written.
Under the fantasy of perfectionism, you can't find the perfect person, and you can't find the perfect relationship. But it wasn't my awakening, it was just that I suddenly met that person, who hurt and tormented me. I leave and stay, those who stay and leave and can't let go. Something in the subconscious is changing. What he says to his friends is always bad about him, he is extremely disgusted, and he is very emotional.
But in the dead of night, we were alone in reminiscing about what we had together. The first time I found it hard not to think about a person. Not looking back is also something I firmly believe in. Anyone who wants to look back will remind themselves of the other party's goodness, but in the end they will be defeated by reason.
Only with him, wanting to be together again, not thinking about his good, but thinking about the things together, and his bad. But it became the driving force behind my efforts.
Reconciliation is a seemingly impossible thing, and a folded piece of paper will never be the same as new. I felt the same way at first.
It was later discovered that the fundamental problem had been misunderstood. Because, I never wanted us to be the same as we used to be. What I hope more is that we are the beginning and truly know each other, from the exchange and contact with each other, rather than the distance between the two places, which can only be misunderstood through the mouths of friends and gossip.
Forgiveness is loving what the other person does. This is actually not difficult. Especially when communicating with his younger brother, he said angrily, how can there be so-called dignity and face!
Letting go is to love what you do. In fact, let go, not to end a relationship. but the heart.
In the year after the reconciliation, we would chat in the community whenever we were free. His greatest quality is listening. In fact, I often get angry because he doesn't understand much at all. But don't give up communication, because this is the only way to let the other party know your heart.
Once I was cold and buried everything in my heart. But feel wronged. Why can you see through my heart when you take a breath, but remain indifferent. I appeal for something in the soul, in that kind of novel, you can understand the pain and struggle just by looking at me without saying a word.
However, he actually understood my expression, but he came from different sources. .
After I learned about it, I suddenly realized how ridiculous I was. Just like watching a star, or a joke, etc., there is no environment or premise or specific explanation. Just a face, just a word. is incomprehensible. There must be a premise or premise. .
And we don't. We are just together, but not really together.
But understand, communicate. But still not enough to let go. Because the sense of security is something that cannot be restored once it is broken.
But through communicating with strangers, I realized that my insecurities came from childhood, not just love affairs. Friendship and kinship make me doubt human nature, and I always rely on my own thoughts.
I know that recently, I read a hand-painted fairy tale for children.
Talk about a small child demanding perfection. All things must be perfect.
So he packed his time into a suitcase and left his family and friends to find the perfect place and person.
He walked across the sea, the desert, the ends of the earth. I have encountered beautiful things, but continue on the road because of imperfection.
Until one day he was old, opened the suitcase and found that all the time was gone, only one month left. Only then did he realize that time could not be kept, and he returned to his hometown to spend the last time with his friends and family. He is happy, even if not perfect.
This story should mainly tell a story about time and perfection
but for me it was about dismantling all the repression, all the restlessness in me.
I live with a suitcase. Every day, from childhood, from breaking up, from re-forgiving back. I've been dragging a suitcase called the past, and it's not just dragging, it's huge.
My suitcase is full of fear, fear, hurt, betrayal, deceit, injustice, patriarchal, tricked, abused, and so on. I drag it on the road every day. So I can't pretend to be happy, relaxed, happy. always be squeezed out.
So I decided to throw away that broken, ugly, heavy suitcase. Go ahead with nothing. .
Only then did I realize that happiness is really not difficult, and the sense of security, which does not actually exist, has returned.
Well, I didn't realize why I wrote it like this. It's just that when I was struggling with which design to choose recently, many of my friends were worried about the recent situation.
I like being direct and intuitive. I don't like compromising my inner thoughts because of what others say to do and what you should do.
So when I see a problem with a friend's relationship, I don't actively solve it, but just wait. I'm worried about
watching my friends say that I can't change something and don't try it, and I'm worried about watching my
friends find a balance between reality and dreams and be happy
. Actually, I want to say that I hate this kind of book.
Love rules and such. Tell you what is love. Nothing counts. How love should be.
That daily connection is loving you. If you don't talk for a few days, you'll break up.
The kind that gives you the best is to love you, and to give silently is to love you.
Love, such a sacred proposition. In my opinion, there are as many definitions as there are populations.
This is the hardest subject, no textbook, no teacher. Anything that is said in the mouth does not apply to me.
So there should be no limits, Follow your heart.
Everything should be like this.
Those so-called, I can't pay like that, I can't ignore everything like you. It's actually a cowardly excuse.
Go down a road, go to the end.
Yes, there is no guarantee that you will succeed,
you just do it
.
The above is just a one-sided idea. Hope it doesn't touch someone else's bottom line.
PS.....LOVE Keira SOOOOOOO MUCH!
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