I have always sneered at the news of suicide around me and treated it with cold eyes, but I just felt that since I have the heart to die, why should I be afraid of living.
My youth is like a piece of shit. Tobacco and alcohol are all over the place, but I am a good child in front of my parents. Being a multifaceted person makes me feel more joyful. I like the feeling of swearing in front of A and smiling without showing teeth in front of B. I like the feeling of chatting with C for the first love in the dark and then serving the grass pomegranate by myself. They are all a bunch of idiots. At that time, I was hypocritical and happy, unlike now that I can't turn every word and every word and pierce people's hearts.
I liked a girl and met her on a bad trip. Even in the 37-degree weather crowded on the bus, I felt very beautiful with her sweating profusely. I didn't mention it to anyone because I didn't dare to mention it to anyone. I slept with her in the hotel in the middle of the night, hugged her in a friendly hug in the dark, and rambled about horror stories because of selfishness just to get her closer to me. On that sleepless night, I suppressed my urge to kiss her bluntly and helplessly, just so that I could sit with her toast the next day. I was sixteen at the time, and I never thought about dying because of my gender preferences.
The girls in the movie are soft and plump, and I can even smell their fragrance. What a wonderful age and face, but imprisoned by the shameful pair of men and women who love them the most. I have never had such parents, but I know their pain. Ununderstood, powerless to struggle, unable to find a reasonable exit even to vent, so on the last night, they dipped their necks into vertical rope loops, stuck their heads into the oven, pressed the switch, and buried themselves in a sealed garage. No goodbyes, no goodbyes.
Those boys, young gentlemen, resisted their sexual desires, communicated with them in a silent way, and wrote a perfect epic in their last days. They looked at the windowsill that was no longer open, and missed the girl.
The most terrifying thing in it is not the dead and unmoving corpses, nor the harm done to the girl by the young and ignorant teenager, but the strong and shameless mother who disregarded the girl's prayer and threw away the photo of her beloved. They imprisoned them on their own accord when they were helpless and in pain, but at that time, the girls were already dead. So in the end, there was no struggle or farewell, this was their best relief.
And I had long since lost sympathy for this couple when they sat in front of the window sill and watched each night because of their parents' captivity. The most terrifying thing in the world, how can there be no parents who think they are the most correct teaching method and superfluous and inescapable care.
They can't hear all the time, our cry outside the door.
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