I fell in love with a man named Brian Kinney.
The Brian who simply struck up a conversation with me on Liberty Avenue, but was deeply attracted to me.
Brian who took me back to his attic and my one night stand without knowing my name.
The most charismatic, heart-pounding Brian I've ever met with brown hair.
The handsome, rich, indifferent, rebellious, solitary Brian who could sleep with anyone every day but never loved, didn't need love.
The Brian who woke up in the morning asking "What the fuck are you doing here?" after sleeping with me all night.
The Brian who drove me to school and kicked me out when my classmates made shitty jokes at me.
The Brian who rejected me and said "I'll see you in your dream".
The Brian who said "I don't do boyfriend. I don't believe in love, I believe in fucking" to me.
The Brian who told me "we have no reason to be together" after I knew he was 29.
The Brian who took me in when I was homeless and said bluntly "I'm not your lover, I'm not even your friend, you're not anything to me".
The Brian who got beaten up by my father unreasonably but didn't lose his temper at me and said "you can stay here" when I didn't dare to go home.
The Brian who slept with another man in front of me.
The Brian who would make Stephanie say "Oh my god, he's to die for".
The Brian who would kick me out because I didn't lock the door, but still end up coming all the way to New York to pick me up and climb into my hotel bed.
The Brian who has the perfect body and refuses sweets, but not my boyish ice-cream kiss.
The Brian who hurriedly asked me "you're going out of state?" after hearing that I had applied to colleges in other states, and then hid it embarrassingly.
The Brian who always insisted he didn't care about me, but stood in front of me when Chris challenged me.
The Brian who insisted on waking me up when I nearly gave up my long-dream art school.
The Brian who often softly calls me "sunshine".
The Brian who said he wouldn't come to my prom and called me "Go and ask some girl" showed up to me that night wearing a white silk scarf and a clean suit.
In front of everyone's eyes, Brian, who wrapped a white silk scarf around my neck, held my hand and danced together, brought me great happiness.
The Brian who was hoarse on his knees after I was stunned.
The Brian who never sheds tears but sheds tears for me sitting in the hospital corridor.
The Brian who still showed indifference to me, wore a scarf stained with my blood, and watched me every night from outside the ward and wouldn't let me know.
The Brian who has been blaming himself for my injury.
The Brian who has been silently protecting me behind me in his own way.
The Brian who danced me carefully to get my memory back and said "I'd prefer to think of it as "ridiculously" romantic. We did some, um... pretty fancy moves.
The Brian who was gentle and I make love when I wasn't back to normal physically and mentally.
The Brian who always likes to play with my soft hair.
The Brian across the street with open arms, waiting for me to walk up to him.
The one who encouraged me to go to the gay festival parade and said it was proud Brian.
The Brian who took my hand on a holiday night and asked me "You wanna dance? I promise you won't forget this one".
The Brian who likes to say "Justin's a little genius" in front of others.
The Brian who bought me a graphics computer after my hand hurt.
The Brian who told me in his own way that he needed me.
The guy who imitated my mother's greasy call me "honey" and looked shy Brian.
The Brian who insisted on paying for my tuition and asked me what "almost" was when I said "I owe you almost my whole life".
The Brian who always said that he was always the supreme top, but could bend over to be the bottom for me.
The Brian who was throwing a tantrum because I didn't come home all night.
The Brian who bowed his head in front of me and admitted that he was jealous for the first time.
The Brian who ties my tie by hand on my birthday.
The Brian who said "I want to go away with you for the whole fucking week" after saying "I don't want to go away with you for the weekend" to me.
The Brian who promised to take me skiing ended up breaking his appointment.
The Brian who said "You're too young to settle down" to me.
The Brian who admires my lips when kisses, says "I like smelling you" and hugs me hard.
The Brian who gave me a lot of money to promote my comics career.
The Brian who came home and pulled the covers for me when I was sad and hugged me to sleep.
The Brian who seriously said "I hope you get what you want" to me after we broke up.
The Brian who punched my best friend for the first time.
The Brian who always said promises were bullshit, but stuck to my promise not to kiss anyone on the lips.
The Brian who secretly paid for my tuition and said "A deal is a deal" to me.
The Brian who packed me the computer after I left and said "You need it, take it".
The Brian who offered me various job opportunities as a friend.
The Brian who was stunned when I showed up at his company as an intern.
The Brian who said "Who said that we were ever in a relationship?" to me when I thought our old relationship was going to bother him.
The Brian who asked me to never listen to the violin again.
The Brian who watched me fall into the arms of others, but still stood there silently waiting for me, forgiving and forgiving me every time I made a mistake.
The Brian who accepted me with open arms with his loft every time I paid for my youth after that.
The Brian who caught me putting up reactionary posters on the street in the middle of the night, not only didn't get angry, but also gave me a hot kiss and helped me put up posters together.
The Brian who said "How did you get to be such a clever devil?" to me.
The Brian who changed his philosophy of life for me.
The Brian who went bankrupt for me.
The Brian who left me alone to travel to Spain.
The Brian who yelled "We're not fucking married" at me.
The Brian who said "I miss you" to me.
The Brian who didn't let me know I had cancer, got mad like a lion when I found out, shoved me out of the house and told me to get out.
The Brian who locked my drawings in the closet when my comics career went downhill.
The Brian who asked me "Sunshine, what would I do without you?"
The Brian who never said I love you, but hugged me tightly for the rest of his life and said "I love you" three times.
The Brian who seriously asked me "How about marry me?" in the studio.
The Brian who secretly bought my dream country house and said "It's for my prince" to me.
The Brian who once regarded marriage as dung and proposed to me twice.
The Brian who said "I'm taking a chance on love" to me.
The Brian who has always been Liberty Avenue's toughest beast to tame and promised me "forever".
The Brian who refused romance and never gave flowers, but let Em go to China to find the golden gardenia I wanted for me.
The Brian who seriously said "You look beautiful" to me after I showed up to him in the dress.
The Brian who told me to hurry up when the pastor asked me if I wanted to.
The Brian who was most reluctant for me to go to New York to develop, but had to reluctantly let go for my future.
The Brian who said to me, "If you have to change for someone, it's not love, it's sacrifice."
The Brian who was one step away, one step away, who could take me by the hand and walk into the church, kiss and say "I do".
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"To prove to the person that I love how much I love him . That I would give him anything, I would...do anything, I'd be anything...to make him happy." —————— Brian
I fell in love with a teenager named Justin Taylor.
The Justin that caught my eye at first sight.
The Justion that I didn't expect, but suddenly broke into my life.
That young and handsome, with clear eyes, golden hair, artistic temperament, and a stubborn and persistent Justin.
That 17-year-old Justin was just an underage high school student.
The Justin who confessed "This is sort of my first" after get laid with me.
The Justin who asked me "When can I see you again" with innocent and expectant eyes.
The Justin who got up the courage to go to my attic and confess to me.
The Justin who has blue eyes and a sunny confident smile, everyone calls him "sunshine".
The Justin who longed for me, adored me, and kept chasing after me every day after being rejected by me.
The Justin who broke into my attic late at night and said "There's nowhere else I can go" to me.
The Justin who secretly drew me while I was sleeping.
The Justin who showed me the show he was proud of to get tits for me.
The Justin who turned against his father for me and his father.
The Justin who watched me bring the man home, but just stayed by my side and didn't dare to talk.
The Justin who cooks my jambalaya at home and waits for me to eat together after get off work.
The Justin who likes to say "You can't push me away. I'm on to you".
The Justin who used my flirtation to deal with me and snatch prey from me.
The Justin who said "I told him that he can see me in his dreams" after a one-night stand with someone.
The Justin who said "Don't go" to me when he knew I was moving to another city for work.
The Justin who invited me to his prom as his partner and said, "I don't want to go with some girl. I want to go with someone I care about."
The Justin who fell in a pool of blood because of me.
The Justin who made my heart hurt for the first time.
The Justin who ran halfway across the city to the bar to find me right after surgery.
The Justin that made me want to protect myself.
The Justin who whispered "I want you inside me" to me.
The Justin who did justice for me when people spoke nasty language to me.
The Justin who said "His teenage lover" without hesitation when asked about his relationship with me.
The Justin who gave up in front of me because he couldn't draw with his hands.
The Justin who told me to be home by 3am and "You don't kiss anyone else on the mouth, but me".
The Justin who would rather go to work than accept my help.
That Justin, who was able to fall asleep while painting until late at night and making love with me, made me feel lost and helpless.
The Justin who went skiing alone after my no-show.
The Justin who cooked me candlelight dinners.
The Justin who said "You're too old to fuck around" to me.
The Justin who made me, who was never jealous, got mad when I found out that he was in love with another man.
The one who needs commitment, looks forward to a beautiful romance, and finally chooses to leave me Justin after waiting too long.
The Justin I thought I could live without him, but I didn't expect to fall in love with the feeling of going home and hugging him every day.
The Justin I thought I could accept his departure, but I didn't expect to miss the Justin so much when I stroked the blond hair of the male prostitute next to my pillow.
The Justin who kept me making excuses to ask him for help was just to meet him.
The Justin who showed up to me with an engagement ring.
The one who justly said to me "If you had any fucking brains at all, you never would've let me leave. You would've told me that you loved me, and you would go on loving me, even after I was gone" Justin.
The Justin who didn't dare to mention it, but told me with a forced kiss that he wanted to come back to me.
The Justin who confidently said to me "Even though I have made a few mistakes, I think you'd be making an even bigger one not to give me a second chance".
The Justin with the secret identity.
That Justin who secretly stayed in the office after get off work to print reactionary posters, was discovered and stopped by me, but insisted that he would not stop, "Cause I'm doing what I believe in" Justin.
The Justin who would rather be suspended than bow his head to the school and tell me "Sometimes you have to sacrifice everything for what you believe in".
That Justin who is even more mature and calmer than me at times.
The Justin who said "you still have me" to me when I had almost nothing.
The Justin who no longer expects those vows or promises, just stays by my side.
The guy who helped me with the new company named "Kinnetic" and told me mischievously because of Justin with two n's.
The Justin who said to me when I was about to sell the loft, "It's not just a loft for me, this is where we had sex for the first time."
The Justin who had a strong sense of justice and mercilessly cut off all his beautiful blonde hair.
The Justin who said "you do what you want, I just want you to know I love you and I'll be here waiting for you" when I decided to leave for a while.
The Justin who not only didn't expose me, but kept it secret from friends for me after knowing that I lied not to travel but to have surgery.
The Justin who drove me out of my mind, got mad at him and threw him rudely out the door.
The Justin who boiled the medicine for me every day while I was sick and watched me drink it.
The Justin who said he was going to help me "rekindle the fire of my life".
The Justin who said to me "I thought we'd finally be a couple and one day have a house of our own, maybe even a family. I know you can't give me that".
In a trance, Jusin, who has been living with me for five years since the first meeting.
That Justin who can open a solo exhibition.
When that bombing happened, I was madly anxious, scared, and almost lost Justin.
The Justin who made me say things I thought I would never say in my life for the first time.
The Justin who looked forward to me saying these three words for five years.
The Justin who taught me love and made me finally understand, love, if I don't say it, I may never have the chance to let the other party know.
The Justin who rejected my first marriage proposal.
The Justin who once told me he'd make do with his small, humble studio until one day he'd have a country estate of his own.
The Justin I was speechless in surprise after proposing for the second time at the country house in a Brain Kinney-esque romance.
The Justin who finally said "Yes, I will marry you".
The Justin who said he was going to name our villa "Bri-tin".
The Justin who tried on the wedding dress with me.
The Justin who carefully arranged the wedding seating chart.
The Justin who wanted to give up going to New York to develop and realize his Hollywood dream for me.
The Justin who is only one step away and can be with me forever.
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