Why taciturn, why choose loneliness, why only live in your own world. Let me analyze myself, I believe that the situation of the male protagonist is similar to mine.
I remember when I was a kid I had a lot of mouth, and the older I got, the less I talked, especially when it came to strangers and the opposite sex. Maybe it's because of low self-esteem that I don't want to communicate with others, or maybe it's because of my introverted personality.
I chose to be alone, I have no friends by my side now. I made some friends when I was in college. Because I had to live in a group dormitory in college, everyone got along day and night and naturally became friends, or roommates. We went out for beer and BBQ together almost every week and it was a good time. But after drinking, we walked back to the dormitory together. They walked fast and I walked slowly. Before I knew it, they walked in front. I could only be behind and watch them talk and laugh. It was getting farther and farther from me, and finally I could only walk back to the dormitory alone. Of course, this is not the case every time, and most of the time they also slow down and walk with me. But I don't think I'm really in tune with them. For example, if I have to walk a long way, few people have the patience to walk slowly with me. Therefore, I will not participate in any outings or activities organized by my classmates. Now I work and don't work in the same city as my college friends. My colleagues also invited me to have a drink, and I didn't go either, because they were more than 20 years older than me, and most importantly, I was not good at talking, and I didn't know what to say to them when we went for a drink.
If a person does not like talking and is used to being alone, he will naturally only live in his own world.
Let’s talk about the love and marriage of the disabled. Love itself is a luxury, and it is even more luxurious for disabled people. I don’t think there will be love for disabled people who don’t like to talk. When I was in school, I had a crush on a female classmate. Under the encouragement of my roommate and the influence of alcohol, I confessed to her, but of course I was rejected. Because I'm just a mediocre disabled person. I didn't insist after being rejected. I don't know if I didn't like it deeply enough, or it was because of my inferiority complex, or maybe it was because of the cowardice in my character. I've heard a saying: "God closes a door for you and opens a window for you" I think it's just a beautiful lie. Maybe God has opened a small window for me, but it is far from making up for the closed door. What's more, God didn't open the window for me. My IQ and EQ are average, and my work ability is average. I have worked hard, but I can only be a mediocre person. But I also understand now that most people can only be ordinary people. The world only needs a small number of great people and a lot of ordinary people. In fact, it's good to be a normal person.
Let’s talk about love, let’s talk about marriage. I had a short-lived marriage, which was introduced by a colleague of my parents. We registered without falling in love and lived together for a month. Separated because she couldn't stand my introversion. Some time ago, my mother found someone to introduce me to another one. We talked on the phone twice, and I didn't want to call her because I didn't know what to say to her. It's not that I despise others, I just feel that they won't want to live with people like me after they really understand me. I don't think any woman would want to marry someone like me. Even if someone wants to marry me, she will leave me soon. Who would want to marry a lame who doesn't like to talk much?
The little devil in "Game of Thrones" has a wise head, but in reality, the vast majority of disabled people, like Finba in "Spiritual Station", can only have an ordinary mind, living an ordinary and slightly sad life. Life.
I used to live with a pessimistic attitude, but now I feel like I'm living a pretty happy life. Why should I be sad about what I can't have, I just enjoy what I have. No one in this world can have everything. I have no love, no friends, and it is estimated that there will be no marriage in the future, but I still have a good family, I still have family, and I have an easy job. And kind leaders. There is also 4M broadband. Life can go on is good.
My writing is rough, and I don't have the talent of literary and artistic youth at all. Let's make do with it.
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