With heart, I am facing the world.

Ebony 2022-03-23 09:02:11

I grew up seeing the world rather simple and considering life to be subject only to logic. Maybe it's because I was comparatively good at maths or physics, or chemistry, those subjects that require abilities to think logically. Of course, I struggled a little to solve those very difficult problems, but I refused to stop thinking about them and eventually they would be solved by myself or with a little help from others. This gave me the impression that life can always be figured out one way or another, just like another version of a math problem. Pretty nerdy, huh? I was exactly this nerdy.

Until, when I successfully passed the most important examination of any student's life, when every logical problem I needed to solve didn't matter that much, did I start to see life's other aspect, which has a lot to do with emotions, faith, relationships. I was at loss at the beginning and almost went through a rather traumatic period, kind of like what Conrad had experienced. With all things messy in life, I felt losing control.

This film shows a situation where people know something's wrong with their life but couldn't do anything about it or even locate what was wrong. The boy who blamed himself for surviving instead of his brother who his mother always favored answered repeatedly to the question " What is it?" in the film "I don't know." Life is just that complicated that we, when hurt or hurting others, can't always figure out the way around our pain and problems.

Some people, trying to heal , experiencing the acute frustration, others wanted to escape from their problems, with no success. But every one has to face a world and a life that appeal to our heart.

With logic, we confront the outer world; with heart, we face our inner world. Ever since I understood this, I am a changed person, no longer blithely proud of my good ability to think logically.

I like this film because it reminds me of how I began this change.

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Extended Reading

Ordinary People quotes

  • Conrad "Con" Jarrett: [Berger is pretending to be Buck, Con's older brother] Bucky, I didn't mean it! Bucky, I didn't mean it!

    Dr. Berger: What?

    Conrad "Con" Jarrett: I said put the sail down, but you said keep it starboard, and then we go over! And you say "Hang on, Hang on!", but then you let go! Why'd you let go?

    Dr. Berger: Because I was tired!

    Conrad "Con" Jarrett: Oh yeah? Well, screw you, you jerk!

    Dr. Berger: [Back in reality] It hurts to be mad at him, doesn't it?

    Conrad "Con" Jarrett: God, I loved him. It's not fair. You just do one wrong thing, and...

    Dr. Berger: And what was the one wrong thing you did? You know. You know.

    Conrad "Con" Jarrett: I hung on. I stayed with the boat.

    Dr. Berger: Exactly.

  • Jeannine: [In a McDonalds restaurant booth Conrad sits with Jeannine, the suicide attempt scars on Conrad's wrist are displayed] Did it hurt?

    Conrad "Con" Jarrett: I don't remember, really.

    Jeannine: You don't want to talk about it?

    Conrad "Con" Jarrett: I've never really talked about it. To doctors. But, not to anyone else. You're the first who's asked.

    Jeannine: Why did you do it?

    Conrad "Con" Jarrett: Uh... I don't know. It was like... falling into a hole. It keeps getting bigger and bigger and you can't escape. All of a sudden, it's inside... and you're the hole. You're trapped. And it's all over. Something like that. It's not really scary... except when you think back on it. 'Cause you know what you were feeling...