I never imagined what I would be like after 35. Although I thought about what I would be like when I died, I never took the initiative to imagine a middle-aged time that was more terrifying than death. I think that should be the most numb and unchanging day for a woman. The work is stable, the children are stable, the family no longer has passion, and everything is developing towards a most stable state.
I didn't plan to write a review of THE HOURS because I don't think I understand the whole movie. Movies that are too boring make it hard to get into, and this one is no different. I haven't reached that age, and I can't understand the indescribable oppression and powerlessness under the oppression of life. But I just watched the beginning of "The Season Suitable for Breaking Up", a long shot was given to the girl, the girl laughed and cried while watching the boy, the helplessness of struggling, suddenly felt something.
Countless people have told me what a stable job it is to be a university teacher. You can have winter and summer vacations a year, and you don’t have to work 9 to 5 every day. Countless people around me have told me that they want a stable life, as long as they can earn about the same amount of money, it will be easy if they can. But I was so afraid that such a life would wipe out all my strength, and in the end I surrendered to that kind of life. So when choosing a major, I choose editing, because what I do will be a job that is always changing. On the other hand, I have no confidence that the same work can be done fresh forever.
Men like to pursue the thrill of power and don't know what women should pursue. Everyone has experienced Laura's confusion. It was an unbearable collapse. At that time, the family, husband, and children that she pursued when she was young were still the same as when she pursued it, but she was just trying to escape, when she smiled tenderly In the face of all things, I actually yearn for the self-liberation like Mrs. Dalloway. We miss ourselves as children and yearn for what we looked like when we grew up. When we can't go back, we realize that the best things will always be yesterday's today.
When Teresa played by Aunt May, when talking about her day, it turned out that so many entanglements, so many careful consideration, so many tears turned into indescribable "I got up, went out, and bought flowers.…”
I watched "The Most Beautiful Farewell in the World" a few days ago, and I felt that the mother in it was similar to my mother. Without my own job, giving up my dreams, I spend every day taking care of the old lady and children. I'm very busy every day, and I don't even have time to sleep. Then I occasionally think about what I've done. It turned out to be just cooking, cleaning up the house, and one day has passed. And every day of the year looks the same again. But movies are movies after all, spanning time and space, no one can really live such a life without complaint. No one is willing to live these decades, not a few years for themselves. The movie is very touching, the reality is very grueling, the movie is very short, but the reality is unbearably long. Thinking about my mother, there is not a day when she is happy. Every day she is devastated by the affairs of her grandmother and grandfather, and she occasionally laughs because she is listening to other people's affairs or watching other people's dramas.
Maybe people's pursuits are really different. Maybe my mother's way of living is to hope to send my grandma away well, and to see that I have a better life than hers. There will be no regrets, but each road will have different results, each result requires different sacrifices, and what you can't get is always the best. And I can't, and obviously, neither can Laura. Old Laura's last words made me really understand that if you're going to live for the same days, you really need more courage than death. Abandoned the easy life, lovely children, and a lot of love for you, in order to keep yourself alive. Life at that time could only let Laura die, but she chose to live.
Life tells us that patience is over. But this tolerance will take a long time, a lifetime. Pain may be longer than happiness, but giving up, or choosing another road at the crossroads, will the unfamiliar road make you much easier.
At 22 years and 3 months, although I have always been a contradictory sister who doesn't want the environment to change but hates the lack of new ideas, I still want to naively tell my 35-year-old self, don't compromise and move on.
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