To the protagonist and the Lives of Quiet Desperation

Monroe 2022-12-08 07:14:40

How long have you felt this? How long have you been in this shit hole that has been devouring you for as long as you can remember? It's been eating you away for quite a while now, piece by piece. It has made you a stranger to your own life, a stranger to your own misery, a bystander to all events, all sad, despicable, and desperate attempts to grab onto to something. Except it doesn't feel a thing.

I know that you are a lover of tragedy . And you're slowly weaving yourself into one, or imagining that you'll have a tragic ending to your worthless life story. You feel like an outsider trying to peek in, trying to figure out what's going on, everything that went wrong but might not have gone wrong.

You know vaguely the consequences and causes of your pitiful state. Yet you keep on waiting and waiting, for some external force, like a person, that might drag you out of or fight off this quiet desperation.
And you keep holding on to this silver lining. No matter how ridiculous, pathetic, or impossible it sounds.

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Synecdoche, New York quotes

  • Sammy Barnathan: I've watched you forever, Caden, but you've never really looked at anyone other than yourself. So watch me. Watch my heart break. Watch me jump. Watch me learn that after death there's nothing. There's no more watching. There's no more following. No love. Say goodbye to Hazel for me. And say it to yourself, too. None of us has much time.

  • [over radio]

    Millicent Weems: What was once before you - an exciting, mysterious future - is now behind you. Lived; understood; disappointing. You realize you are not special. You have struggled into existence, and are now slipping silently out of it. This is everyone's experience. Every single one. The specifics hardly matter. Everyone's everyone. So you are Adele, Hazel, Claire, Olive. You are Ellen. All her meager sadnesses are yours; all her loneliness; the gray, straw-like hair; her red raw hands. It's yours. It is time for you to understand this.

    Millicent Weems: Walk.

    Millicent Weems: As the people who adore you stop adoring you; as they die; as they move on; as you shed them; as you shed your beauty; your youth; as the world forgets you; as you recognize your transience; as you begin to lose your characteristics one by one; as you learn there is no-one watching you, and there never was, you think only about driving - not coming from any place; not arriving any place. Just driving, counting off time. Now you are here, at 7:43. Now you are here, at 7:44. Now you are...

    Millicent Weems: Gone.