But I admit that I am a man of ideas, but this girl is not. This view is deeply rooted. Every time she talked about which classmate accidentally rolled out of the toilet, or which female classmate was pretending again, she would always laugh. I actually endured a lot of pain, but cabbage can't be the same price as cabbage, she laughed at me too, it was a shame to laugh - but know that I don't like to see the oak tree and the unruly wind like her. It's a numb and squished book that has no moisture. I pretended to be high-level and pretended to be a mysterious expert who didn't fit in with rationality, humming and groaning. In fact, it's very revealing, but I'm very reluctant to admit it - no matter how much I pretend to be like a Sanye Sanren who has been in seclusion for 20 years and practiced the boy's art, I just came down from the mountain and was trying to ask who's wrong, or it came out of nowhere. The wild girl gave a light slap to the internal bleeding. Can't spit out, shame.
I think I really fell in love with her then.
But there is no post-this is thanks to the popular rhetoric, Journey to the West. At that time, I slept and skipped classes every day. I really didn’t have the energy to think about these things. In those days, my nosebleeds rarely flowed.
Later, there was a deep discussion at the location of In the school playground, I was still eating fucking fried noodles. What we talked about, it's been a long time, and I have forgotten it. But I remember she said that she likes boys who are calm, who wear glasses, and who have skills. Douluo has been playing too much, these people who like to use shotguns...
In fact, I was tossing and turning on the bed that day, eating kiwi fruit and still thinking, how can I be calm, have the ability, and let her know? I still I specially got up and put on my ragged jacket and went to the corridor to watch Yu Qiuyu for a while. Later, after graduating from high school, I realized that this person's glasses must be flat mirrors, otherwise it would be troublesome to wipe tears
. , I am not sure.
After graduation, I was not in the photo because I was squatting and tying my shoelaces. My shoelaces have been inexplicably unraveling all my life. The photo is still empty, and I wonder if she has ever thought that that face should have been in that position.
At that time, we should have embraced each other, because we were not sure what kind of ending we were facing.
In the years since then, there has been no role for her. But I was like a demon, but I remembered to be the best of her people. Unfortunately, she doesn't like extreme people, but I have become extreme; she likes very brilliant people, but I am unknown; she likes those gentle teenagers who love to paint oil paintings, but I have become a gentle scum who loves Chinese paintings. . In short, her wishes, I probably did not complete.
And I did not forget, and I have woken up countless times from my dreams and wanted to fulfill my promise.
In my sophomore year of high school, I was squatting at the entrance of the Internet cafe and smoking bored, and I remembered this. I didn't wear glasses that year, because my eyesight was super good, and my eyes were 5.1. It didn't even take a few seconds to clear the level with CS guns and headshots. As for calmness, I really don't have it, because I can't help joking, making jokes and making jokes, it's really not very stable.
At that time, I made a very heavy decision, but I couldn't implement it. For the first time, I doubted that I was not better like this.
I rummaged through romance novels, psychological books, and even the Koran and Buddhist scriptures, and secretly went to the library to read the twenty-four histories of the so-called sea, but I still did not understand her heart
. I didn't even say a few words when I got in touch with her inexplicably. I didn't even ask the crucial question of whether I was single or not. I just talked.
The day before the re-reading, I texted her and said to do something better than before. people. She just encouraged, and didn't even say goodbye.
On the way there, someone on the car's radio station played "Hate and Love Song" on demand, and I was in tears.
I don't have to please you, I like myself like this.
But I think if I don't do this, I will regret it and feel that I am not worthy of her.
After that, I really lost my role, and I gave up my promise.
Because I found that it is actually very difficult to separate from myself and become another person.
You like those boys with fluttering white clothes, but I can't wear white, I can't stand dirty, and I don't cherish it. You like boys who can draw, even if I draw the flowers and birds in fine brushwork vividly, you probably don't look down on them. You like a boy who can sing, a boy with a soft voice who can sing pop songs, I admit it can't - my parents gave birth, this is not a car horn, where can I change it.
I felt more and more unworthy of her.
Perhaps, she already had that Prince Charming.
I can't dress up as another person just to make you like me.
Waiting is nothing but a formality and a compromise. And try to change for whom, who has not done it before. You and I are probably like this, and youth is like this. It's not serious for our generation to put satellites on anything...
But, this kind of waiting and perception, I think, is indeed the most proud investment I have made over the years. When I enjoy this beautiful result, I always think of the person I want to be, and sometimes shudder. Whenever this time, I always say this, you are very good, you are the best work that has been polished by yourself.
Those days when I was always walking alone in disappointment, the days when I frowned and cursed myself, humming and pulling the soul to imagine the expression on the day of meeting, why not let me understand.
At this moment, our hearts may not be so pure, but who has not imagined the possibility of miracles?
The person I was thinking about to meet, the person who waited for a long time and could only run away by herself, maybe her skin was yellow, and she walked down the street with her runny-nosed son; maybe, she was polished by time Delicate and moving, holding the hand of Prince Charming, he walked by the roadside.
Don't be disappointed, no one will be touched by anyone, and women will not fall in love with spiritual idols. Only you can impress yourself.
I was afraid of seeing each other again, and felt uneasy. It's not that she can't face the facts, but she doesn't dare to face her, she doesn't know how. Maybe around the time I sent that text message to be a better person, she was gone.
The old days are vast, laughing and asking when and where can I be relieved, it is not that I am not worthy of her, but that she has a better choice, or she is no longer worthy of me.
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