A few days ago, I invited a few friends to dinner. There were Taiwanese and mainlanders, and everyone talked about the characteristics of women from all over the world. Our female compatriots from the mainland ridiculed themselves and said that women in Taiwan, mainland China, South Korea, Japan and other places all look the same. In fact, if you look closely, the difference will come out immediately. Korean women generally lower their eyebrows to their husbands and smile. Can drown people to death, Taiwanese women speak softly and have a virtuous face that can transform Wan Rengang. And the women from the mainland all look like they have a face full of class struggle. If this is what I said, then it’s over, and I’ve stabbed the hornet’s nest again, and I don’t know how much trouble I will cause. Fortunately, this is what our female fellow from the mainland said by herself. It is a kind of self-deprecating, and only women who dare to laugh at themselves are confident. She has a kind of open-mindedness, not a small belly, and please allow me to take my hat off. A friend from Taiwan said that women in Taiwan were taught by their parents to have a "female appearance", otherwise they might not be able to marry. What should a woman be like? Passing feminist opportunists please bypass this question. Not many people actually care what you think. Only men have a say in this question, just as only women have a say in what men do. It is useless to brag. It may be an exaggeration to say that the expression is more "class struggle", but we mainland women have a fierce look on their faces. Of course we men too. A few days ago, I saw on the blog "Foreign Wife in China", that foreign daughter-in-law gave advice to a Chinese guy who wanted to fall in love with an American woman, saying that we Chinese men sometimes don't know what "confidence" really is. What it looks like, I mistaken "aggression" as a kind of confidence. This is an excellent summary of the nouveau riche mentality we have just developed into a so-called "great country". I'm glad that someone can point out our faults, because usually, in cultural exchanges, romantic imaginations about each other are often absurdly wrong. Times are changing. I used to read Lin Yutang's "The Art of Living" and found that the shortcomings of the Americans described by Lin Yutang have basically become the shortcomings of today's Chinese men and women. You don't learn much about the bad things, and you will learn the bad things as soon as you learn them. However, as a man, "it's just because I'm in this mountain", I can't see the fault. I also ask the other debaters to enlighten me. Here I can only describe the quality of women from the eyes of men. When it comes to Chinese women, Americans who don't know much generally think they are representatives of "filial piety, respect, and virtuousness", "not like our American women, who are so aggressive." But I have lived in the United States for so many years, and I have found that some American women are called virtuous. The last time Minister Yin came to the United States for the first time, he also expressed the same emotion, saying why American women are so virtuous. He was chatting with a couple, and the husband seemed to be in poor health. He was deeply moved by the wife's observance of her husband's words and expressions, and the care she showed in every little detail of her husband when she stood up and sat down. Of course, I generally live in small places, small towns, small towns where many people still maintain traditional values. The traditional values in the United States are Christian ethics. The Bible says that the relationship between a woman and a man is for women to respect men and treat men as "heads". Of course men must love women, just as Christ loved the church. I don't know what it's like in big cities like New York, Los Angeles. But I think the United States as a whole is more diverse, and even in big cities, there are still some traditional Americans. It's too long to start, I was going to talk about Tender Mercies. This is an old film that won the Academy Award in the 1980s. I found it from the library. I was so moved by watching it that I, a person who has been busy all the time, actually watched it three times. Then I spent another night writing this review. I let that tender loving kindness strike me again and again. When I see a good film like this, I think that there are still people trying to express this clear old-fashioned value, which shows that people's pursuit of goodness is endless. When the time comes, this kindness makes us lay down our weapons and let us bathe in the spring light like a person who has walked through the cold winter. The film's main character is a stale country folk singer and songwriter. In all the movies I've seen about musicians, from Johnny Cash to Ray Charles biopics to Nashville, the protagonists in them seem to have problems with drugs or alcohol. My daughter's music teacher said that Satan the Devil was a musician who led one-third of the angels who knew music to defect, so it's no wonder that people who make music have many problems :) This film is no exception. At the beginning, the protagonist Mike (Robert Duvall) is drunk in the small motel of the heroine Rosa (Tess Harper). At this time, as a person, he can be said to be useless and become pieces ("broken pieces" ), career failure, divorce, alcoholism, and getting older. The movie describes how the Texas woman picked up his shards and made him a new creature. This Texas woman is actually very similar to the virtuous woman in ancient Chinese legends. A good woman makes a man, but a woman makes a man, not by the "control" of the "husband and skill" style, but by the silent influence, just like the "water" that the drop of water wears through the stone, and the silent rain that moistens things. After all, people are not cattle and horses, there is nothing that cannot be controlled. You treat it like a horse, and in the end you can only get the quality of life that a horse can only provide. People have thoughts and feelings. If they do not connect their minds, all their efforts will be useless. When the husband in the movie was deeply affected by the suspicion of his artistic talent, he ran away from home in a depressing mood. The wife just leaned against the door and looked at her. Although she was melancholy and worried, she didn't go to catch it blindly. While she was praying in bed, the husband finally came back, saying that he drove back and forth in front of the door a few times, ran out of places, and finally came back. He almost relapsed into alcohol addiction, bought a bottle of wine, but fell on the ground again. The Texas wife also did not speak, not greedy for credit, praising her own credit. The daughter of her husband and ex-wife came over and asked her father how he quit drinking, and she said that she quit like that, without taking any credit for herself. In fact, when the husband was drunk in the room at first and made a mess of the room, she quietly cleaned it up. I think that when I meet such a person, any hard-hearted man will be influenced. When her husband came back from a runaway, she just silently said to cook for him, and told him that a band would come during the day and she tried to learn to sing the songs he wrote. Don't look at that scene plainly, everyone wants to cry. I'm thinking that getting along with husband and wife is actually the same principle as management. You have to know when to "let go" and don't manage too finely. It has become a "micromanage" that is very taboo in management. . People who don't understand this art of living, when they are in control, they are very hard at it, turning their husbands into "inch husbands", but when they need to be concerned, they withdraw and become "husbands". In fact, what a person does, others are not fools, they can see it, there is no need to go on and on, virtuousness is a quality from the inside out, and like the so-called charisma, it is made out, not It can move people and change people. A person's quality is like a fragrance, which can envelope the people around him and change unconsciously. With regard to being a human being, many ancient Chinese educated people on the principles of how to behave in different stages of life, such as abstaining from fighting when young, rebooting in middle age, and abstinence at old age. These are all male-centrism admonitions. As for women, I think I can say the following: Avoid jealousy when you are young, avoid resentment in middle age, and avoid greed when you are old. Why does the expression of "class struggle" appear on the faces of female compatriots? Because women are middle-aged and feel insecure, but they refuse to admit it, so they keep talking about their credit, trying to increase their value. Sometimes they seek psychological balance by belittling their husbands, so that gentleness and virtue no longer exist, the family is in crisis, they do not want to reflect on their own responsibilities, and they are unable to change the status quo, so they blame the husband, blame life, and blame the society. "The Resentful Woman". The lack of insecurities is a big problem, and it makes people wary, so why not learn to relax? Just like the friend I mentioned at the beginning, laughing at yourself earns respect. Besides, beauty can get men's eyeballs, and virtue can stabilize men's hearts. Working hard on the former is a losing game. No one can beat the years. And making efforts in the back is a more reliable guarantee, because the human heart is full of flesh. The American wife in the movie was originally a widow, dragging a child, and her appearance was average, but she did not see her sense of crisis. I think she is also very relaxed, and has an optimism about letting life take its course. In a hurry to twist her husband into her own orbit, she silently did her own thing, and she entrusted everything else. She is a true love and faith person, she goes to the choir to sing and pray for her husband. She rescued her husband, who was trapped in the mud of life, but it didn't make people feel like she was doing the rescue, so the movie is called "Tender Loving Kindness". Life is full of art, a man is a husband and a wife, we all have no user manual, but happy families are similar, but what is the similarity? This film has given us some thoughts. I suggest that the Ministry of Civil Affairs let the woman watch this film once before getting married
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