Because I'm not the kind of person who is very cheerful and enthusiastic. I am extremely sensitive, a look, a piece of paper, a leaf that fell on the ground and was trampled on, a sentence can make me think deeply. When I was a child, I was very smart. When I was four years old, I started to multiply. Because my father expected too much of me, every time I got a full page of questions right, he would hit me or make me repeat them. Do a page full of questions, I thought it was my fault, and I'll keep going. Growing up I learned that it wasn't my problem at all. It is the vanity of all parents at work again.
I hardly talk to my parents eye to eye because I'm scared. After I came out to work, I said I would call them every other week, but I never called, even if I wanted to call every day, they ended up calling. I know it's not that I don't love them, it's just that I'm used to rejecting them.
After the age of eighteen, I met a lot of men, and they were all pitiful men. I always pretended to be confident, but I used my mask to attract them, and we ended. Every relationship is like this. I try to fall in love with the knowledge taught by the book, but I am not a real girl, because I will pretend to not care, I refuse to take the initiative to call, take the initiative to show love, take the initiative to kiss. I don't even know if it's an autism.
Like a heroine, I need someone's love, but I almost never take the initiative to hold someone, unless that person has been tested by me and is already very close to holding hands. I hate people who are close to anyone. I don't think they have their own space.
This movie puts me at ease.
No matter what, someone is always there for you. That is your family.
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