snow belt scar

Kaitlin 2022-03-22 09:03:01

The day I met you, it rained; the day you left, it was snow.

It was the biggest rain of my life. Sword energy, noise, and the desperate cry of the slain... When I was entangled in all this, I met you—no, I should say, I felt you. The scent of your white plum is so similar to the scent of the prostitute sister who protects me; you frown lightly, pouring out your indifferent resentment towards me. You said, it turns out that I can really summon blood and blood, and I just saw that your purple umbrella is covered with blood - that is the blood of the people I killed.

You fainted in my arms. Never felt that there was anything wrong with me killing to shape a new era, because only by destroying the old and bad can the new be ushered in—until I met you. I saw your unbearable face in the face of blood, I felt your tenderness when you gently covered me, and I feel sorry for your helplessness when arguing with me. When you seriously asked me if I had read the books piled on the table, I gave you an indifferent look, and I said no, the executioner does not need to read books. You lowered your eyebrows and said you didn't want to argue with me, but I know what you want to say, and I know you want to give me more meaning in life. But at that time, I thought that my life could not have any other meaning than killing people.

You and I go to Otsu. We all pretended to be husband and wife along the way. I felt embarrassed and wronged you, but you lowered your brows and nodded, not happy with each other. I don't know that the feudal lord has secretly entrusted you to be my scabbard, but you have indeed slowly influenced me. You use your tenderness, and your kindness—you must not know that I watch you secretly every morning as you cook breakfast. I like the way you are so smoky that you can't open your eyes, and you keep fanning the wind to make the water roll away; I like that you knead the rice balls with your hands, while trying to knead the rice hard, while you are not obedient and fall down I love that you seem to know all my thoughts and ask me if I should add some pickled radishes when I think the side dish is a little bland; I love that you can't count when you get up every morning and comb through them carefully black hair with a pink headband; I love the barely audible footsteps you walk behind me, and I also love that you write seriously every night with a night light... I love it, I love it all You, I like that you ask me if I want an extra dress when it's cold; I like, I like all of you, even though I don't know what you write there every day. You have your past, you have your secrets, but the only thing I care about is now, you are with me.

I don't even know I've become gentle. Let me pick up the vegetable seedlings that we have worked so hard to plant but are wet by the rain, I will be depressed; when I pull out the radishes we have planted so hard, I will stretch my limbs happily, and I will not be tired after working all day; when I eat you When you make pickles, I will be happy to eat two bowls of rice; when I sleep by the fire you made, breathing long, I will sleep without dreams until dawn. I know it's called happiness. It's just that I only care about my own feelings, I can't understand the sadness behind your tenderness, and the anxiety that seems to be getting deeper and deeper in the corner of your eyes. Forgive my ignorance and slowness, I don't know what you're worrying about, and I don't know what my bloody hands have destroyed.

It's still coming. On that day when the snow was blowing, when I suddenly couldn't find you, when Iizuka personally told me that you were a traitor, when I tried my best to restrain my trembling hands, and picked up the diary you've been writing! It hurts, it hurts more than cutting a knife, it hurts more than seeing vegetable seedlings wet by the rain, it hurts more than everything else, it hurts so much that I can't walk, it hurts so much that I almost have no strength to breathe... I hurt How could I destroy you with my own hands! How, how can I destroy the happiness that so many people have, and think I am a hero? What the hell am I? Killing machine? A tool for politicians to gain benefits? Or the founder of the new era that he canonized? ?

I, nothing; I, nothing; I, only you.

Because you hurt more than me, you must hurt more than me... So, I want to find you; so, I want to protect you.

But I can't protect anyone, I can't protect anyone...I can only protect myself. I used to think that I was omnipotent and that I would not be knocked down by anyone's sword. When my sword pierced your body, I knew that I had lost everything. I won my life and lost you; I won the meaning of life and lost you; I won the reputation of the wandering swordsman and lost you; I found my soul and lost you; I took With the scarf you gave me, I can't get you back... If I can, I don't want to win; I can give up everything, I just want to get you and your life back, I just want to get you back

...

If not Yes, then let me carry you and your life on my back and continue to live.

It was also the biggest snow in my life. It washed away my sins and made me see my heart. Ba, let me take you to continue walking, okay? I will be stronger because I have you in my scar.

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Extended Reading

Rurouni Kenshin: Trust and Betrayal quotes

  • Tomoe: You... You made it. You made the bloody rain fall.

  • Seijûrô Hiko: You won't be alive long enough to remember my name.