In the reception room at the school, the son said, "I hope you can listen to me." The
father didn't even think about it: "Of course!"
"I mean listen to me attentively."
"I will."
"No, you No."
"Okay, I'm listening now." The
son said that his father left him to Australia after the divorce and let him stay in the UK, living with his mother he didn't like.
"Why don't you take me? I wish you could, I want to be with you."
"I thought little kids should be with their mother."
"Don't you miss me?"
"Oh my God, of course I do. "The father began to explain, "But, you know, having a baby again...I'm trying to make things better."
"So you left me with her."
"She's your mom..."
"A Hate my mom."
"That's ridiculous! Your mom loves you!"
"Look, you didn't listen to me at all—I tried to tell you how I felt, and you said I was ridiculous."
—————–
How many times have such conversations appeared in our lives? The difference is that before we were the aggrieved child, but now we are the strong father who thinks he cares about his children.
Such conversations don't just happen between fathers and sons, but also between colleagues, friends, and even lovers. In fact, this is a lesson we all have to learn.
The only certainty is that if you're just commenting and judging, you're not listening. Commenting and judging only happen when you are not "it" because that requires objectivity, whereas listening is about opening yourself up and connecting with each other's feelings, all of which require complete emotional engagement.
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